Welcome to Wednesday morning. Here are a few things on my mind this morning:

• We don’t live near a grocery store. Plus I never have a car to drive to the grocery store. Thus me doing my grocery shopping online. $7.95 is a small price to pay for grocery delivery, no? Unfortunately, it takes about an hour to do my shopping online. Not including the time it takes to pull Babboo away from the computer wires.
• I don’t know what happens in downtown Seattle while I’m in bed asleep, but it always looks like a mess in the morning; garbage everywhere, the smell of urine, even condom wrappers.
• Are you reading Frema’s online soap opera yet? If not, you are dead to me.
• I’m not sure what they are feeding Babboo at school, but the kid poops his pants all day long. If I change a diaper, there is a 94% chance that it will contain dookie.
• The King and I have been trying to talk people into watching the new show Rules of Engagement. We’ve really been liking it lately. But this week’s episode sucked donkey ass. So um, if you watched it this week because I suggested it, I’m sorry.
• The King and I are still sleeping in the front room. I don’t dare move back into the bedroom until Babboo has slept through the night for a few nights in a row. That has yet to happen, damn it.
• It was 70 degrees here in Seattle last week. Today I just about froze on my way into work.
• I miss the sun and have almost given up hope that I will ever see it again.
• The King was in LA for five days last week for work. Including the weekend. Again, I have a new found respect for single moms. It’s a lot of work to take care of a kid alone.
• What did we do while The King was gone? Babboo and I put on our blazers and took pictures of us together. Fun times. We’re glad The King’s back home.

• A bunch of people I know, including myself, saw the movie The Holiday this weekend. Did you see it? What did you think about it? Because basically I thought it was horrible. Jude Law is unbelievably hot, but the movie was still horrible.

• I won a Whoorlie award today. It’s my first ever blog award, and I’m thrilled. Awesome, I know. It would be funnier if it was a “Whore-lie” award for being such a whore. But truthfully, I’m glad it isn’t an award for being a whore. Which, for the record, I am not.
• I’m really looking forward to this weekend. More specifically Friday night. I’ll report more on that next week.

So tell me, what’s on your mind today?

I got to work this morning and began my usual routine:

• take off my coat and get my laptop out of my backpack
• turn laptop on
• while laptop is “warming up” go into the office kitchen
• make a cup of hot chocolate
• make a bowl of instant oatmeal
• fill up my water bottle
• come back to my desk and open the internet
• begin reading (personal) e-mails
• respond to (personal) e-mails

It’s the same thing everyday. And it’s very exciting.

NOT.

(Love the 90’s reference there!)

Today was a little different. While typing out an e-mail to TVGoddess I heard a very loud fart. So loud that there was no denying what it was.

But where did it come from?

The 70+ year old guy that sits in the office near me.

I had to just keep typing and act like I didn’t hear anything. But I know that he knows that I heard it. I mean, there’s no way I couldn’t have.

Praise the Lord, it’s Friday. Things I’m looking forward to:

• Finding out the winner of the donuts from last week’s King Friday. (Why wasn’t I in the running? Mommy needs some donuts.)
• Cleaning my bathroom tonight.
• Seeing my cousin and his lady-friend, who are flying in from Mesa today.
• Starting work on the Christmas presents my friend May and I just came up with. (They are going to be legendary.)
• The King’s broken rib healing. The poor guy is in some serious pain and the broken rib doesn’t help with the house building project.
• Trying to get a good picture of Babboo to use in our Christmas card.
• Sleeping in tomorrow.

Before I bore you to death with more bullets, let’s see what The King has to say.

————————-
ok, when i said embarassing, i didn’t mean stuff that you needed therapy for. i was thinking stuff like, “i shave my pubic hair into an arrow pointing to my goodies” or ” i sneak into my bosses office and squeeze out a fart when he/she isn’t in the room”. i tell you what, i don’t judge. and i know it was hard to open up for some of you. so thanks for giving us all a laugh. its a tough pick. i’d have to say that not washing one’s hands after going #’s 1 or 2 is pretty out there, but its probably not safe to eat doughnuts (or anything) without a good wash. i hope you dont work in a restaurant. and even though i pretty much spent all week thinking of MK eating doughnuts in bed with no undies on, you cant win 2 weeks in a row. but thanks though. it warms my heart to know that there is at least one other person out there fighting the war against unnecessary underclothing. live free sister! bump it up a notch and stop wearing them during the day too… in fact, let’s all follow MK and make this friday, 11/17/06, sleep nude day. please join us as we all lay ourselves between the sheets, sans clothing (or at least underwear) and sleep unbound by society’s pressures and the itchy elastic. pledge your support.

so i guess this week we have two winners. i only have one doughnut card, so that goes to janet for being the first to admit that she has a blanky. i know there were several of you that came forward in that department, but being first is always the toughest. and second prize goes to jen, the finger picker. i have something special for you. send us your mailing addresses and we’ll get things in the mail. (MK, your prize from last week is still to come. we head to the great white north next week.)

so i never really planned for my weekly post to become a contest, but it seems to be the best thing so far since my mundane existence leaves very little interesting to write about. plus, i want everyone to have a chance to revel in their good fortune and win a fantastic prize. this week’s winner will win an all expenses paid, one year subscription to their choice of the following magazines: glamour, self, or successful farming.

to win this week’s coveted prize, you must answer the following:

if you could impart just one piece of wisdom that you have learned in life, what would it be? the king’s wisdom is this: baby wipes aren’t just for babies. why use dry toilet paper when a sanitary baby wipe will give you a far superior result. underneath this tough exterior is a guy who likes to have that gentle yet thorough post-toilet cleansing that only a baby wipe can provide.

i’m just sayin’, that’s how i roll.

best wisdom wins. oh, and put an extra blanket on tonight if you’re in a colder climate…
-k

You know how when you have this horrible weekend filled with no sleep and fussy babies, and then come Monday morning you’re excited to come back to work? But then come Tuesday (which just so happens to also be today) you’re sick of work again. And tired from the aforementioned no sleep weekend.

Yeah-that’s what happened to me.

Which means today is all about the bullets.

• The rain is killing me. I know it rains in Seattle. But this is crazy. The King went to the new house yesterday just to make sure it hadn’t floated away. Seriously.

• I’m loving my new rain-proof jacket. And although it’s hideous-it totally works. (Plus it was free, thanks to my best friends husband that works in the clothing industry.)

• Babboo has decided he hates the boob. And not just the boob, but anything that comes out of the boob. So I’ve been pumping. Which I hate.

• Last night The King broke down and told me that Babboo’s school recently informed him that Babboo won’t take breast milk from the bottle. AT ALL!

• Apparently they’ve been mixing the milk I take them with cereal and feeding it to him that way. And then giving him formula in his bottle.

• WHAT? How long has this been going on? You mean to tell me that I’ve been killing myself with this damn pump and Babboo doesn’t even appreciate it?

• I think this means I need to stop pumping.

• I’m not sure how I feel about this.

• Babboo and I rode the bus down to my best girlfriend’s house last night. Damn the Seahawks games and messing with the bus schedule. Waiting for the bus in the rain while you have a baby strapped to your body is not fun.

• Hanging out with the friends was fun.

• I think I’m meeting my cousin for lunch today. She’s coming into the city to try to get on at a fancy salon. (remember she just graduated from beauty school?) How awesome would it be if she was working 2 blocks away from me? We could do lunch all the time. And she could do my hair. It’s a win/win situation.

• I have to attend a meeting tonight for a Church organization that I belong to. I’m trying really hard to not call it a STUPID MEETING. Because basically, that’s what it is. (Breath, breath, breath…)

• Janet and Andrew are getting married this weekend. I’m very excited for both of them. Very excited!

• I can’t wait for the end of the horrible nasty election commercials. And the phone calls. Why do they have to be so mean? And confusing.

That is all for now. Thank goodness.

Welcome to the bullet edition for the week of October 9th. Sit down, have a cup of cocoa. Enjoy.

• Today is a Federal Holiday. The King and I don’t work for the Federal government. Apparently Babboo’s school observes Federal Holidays. Without reminding us. We didn’t know this until The King went to drop of Babboo at school this morning and the doors were locked. He had to go back home and call in “sick” to work. (I hope they have a good day together.)

• Dude, we are bad parents. We should know this type of stuff. Right?

• Kathleen e-mailed me this weekend to tell me she thought she saw me on the streets of Seattle on Friday. But was afraid to come up to me for fear of looking like a stalker. It was me, and I would not have thought she was a stalker at all. Next time you see me, TALK TO ME!

• My parents will be here in 2 days. I’m so excited I could pee.

• Babboo and I went grocery shopping on Saturday. It was note pretty. From now on I’m going to (happily) pay the delivery charge and order my groceries online.

• HollowSquirrel is back from her trip to Hawaii. Again, so excited I could pee. (Mrs. Squirrel, I got your post card in the mail. It will promptly be added to my post card collection. The collection I’ve had since I was about 10 years old.)

• My cousin had a baby last week. Is it horrible of me to regift the Winnie the Pooh pajama set that a nice old lady from Church gave Babboo? (Babboo isn’t into Winnie the Pooh. He’s more into Mr. T and Gun & Roses shirts.)

• Another cousin of mine got engaged last week. He’s 21 year old. Every time I think about how he’s too young to get married, I can’t breathe.

• It’s my sister and her husbands 4 year wedding anniversary tomorrow. She’s only 24. Again, thinking about it makes my heart stop.

• Being married is hard work.

• I really need to clean the bathroom before my parents arrive.

• I love Veronica Mars. If you aren’t watching this show, you suck. (Please watch it so it doesn’t get cancelled. Please!)

• Work is boring. I hope my project starts to pick up. Soon.

• I love my new cell phone. It is NOT flip phone. I have the flip phones. I can’t ever hear when I use one.

• Please make me feel better for not knowing Babboo’s school was closed today. Please.

Things I have learned in the last week:

• I can do more than I thought I could with just one free hand.
• Feeding a newborn is the time equivalent of a full time job (and why doesn’t anyone talk about that?) The pay sucks.
• Breastfeeding is easy. I’ve figured out how to succeed at it. Don’t read anything about it before hand. That’s right. Go into it knowing nothing and expecting nothing. And you’re baby will suck like no other. And it will be awesome.
• I am not so good at getting the “thank you” cards out. I used to be good at it. No so much anymore. (But that doesn’t mean I’m any less appreciative of all the wonderful people in our lives!)
• The King continues to rock my world. And he will be missed while he’s in Arizona for his best friends wedding this week. (Please pray that I can handle it alone. All praise for single Mom’s everywhere!)
• The Baby is really into Raffi. Specifically “Baby Beluga”, which is the only Raffi song I know. I sang it to him when I was pregnant and he seems to remember it. And likes it.
• The human body is amazing. The changes I have gone through in the last 10 months are just amazing. I went from huge to not so huge. It’s odd to deal with the ever changing body. For some reason I can’t seem to get my mind around it.
• The Baby wears no less than six outfits a day. Let’s not even talk about the number of diapers he goes through. Good thing they are free. Oh, they aren’t? Crap.
• Sleep? Who needs it? Not me….I guess.
• I love my little family. And am looking forward to our future together.

(and I’m currently feeding The Baby, blogging, and watching Veronica Mars. Dude, are VM and Logan finally getting back together? TV Goddess, please tell me it’s true!)