In which I try to buy confidence. In a pill form.July 10th, 2008 @ 7:01 am
I remember, years ago, when a certain “diet pill” was on the market. It seemed like every adult in my small town was on it. I watched as all the customers at the convenient store (yes, that’s what we called it) I worked at literally shrunk before my eyes. I remember this one specific woman who was losing weight at a very fast (and very unhealthy) rate. Every week she’d walk into the store wearing a new outfit, showing off more of her thinning frame then the week before. You could see how happy she was by the new spring in her step and the sparkle in her eyes. She loved being thinner. She became more talkative and outspoken. She started to flirt with the male customers.
I was thrilled to see how being a smaller size made this woman seem to love life so much more. I imagined what it must be like to be her and enjoying herself for the first time in maybe twenty years. I was young back then and didn’t truly understand the pressures of marriage, kids, and just life in general. I also didn’t understand the feeling of being older and not being content with how you looked on the outside.
All I saw was that she was happier. And much more confident.
I remember thinking that instead of some magic diet pill someone should invent a pill that gave you self confidence. It wasn’t being thinner that made people happy, it was just the confidence that made them happier.
At least that was my perception.
It’s funny what a little confidence can do.
I really do fine it interesting that somebody hasn’t invented a pill form of confidence yet. Dude, get on it.
And it’s funny what people gain their confidence from.
Alcohol is often referred to as liquid confidence, right? I imagine that’s one big reason why people drink in social circumstances. If I was a drinker, you know I’d be drinking any time I had to go out in public or had to be around people at all.
(By the sounds of that last paragraph, it’s a darn good thing I don’t drink.)
(Thank you, Jesus, for helping me not be a [confident] lush.)
I think I gain my own dose of confidence when I’m dealing with something I’m comfortable with. Like if I’m in charge of a certain project at work and I know the ins and out of the project, then I’m all about rocking my confidence. If I’m in a room full of people that love TV and want to talk about TV…dude, I’m the most confident person in the room.
It’s when I find myself surrounded by people that like to camp. Or mountain bike. Or go on hikes. Or run races. Yeah, I’m the one over in the corner being all nervous and crap.
So not confident with that subject matter.
I’m confident with public speaking. But only when I’ve been given ample time to prepare what I’m speaking about. And as long as I like the topic. (Yeah, like the one time I was asked to speak in church about the Reformation. Um yeah, I know nothing on the subject.)
I’m confident with my Weight Watcher chocolate chip cookie making skills. So much so that I entered a cookie backing contest at work last month. (I didn’t win. The contest was fixed. I’m just saying.)
I’m confident with my knowledge of all things Rhett Miller and Old 97’s. Oh yes, those topics give me confidence. (But not enough to make me confident in Rhett’s presence.)
I guess as I get older I gain more confidence in myself. Or rather, I’ve learned to not put myself in situations where I’m all wobbly and speak incoherently about subjects I know nothing about. Pretty much I steer clear of REI and people that like to hike in their spare time.
(Well, except for my bestest friend from high school and her damn hippie husband.) (I heart them.)
That doesn’t leave me much, I guess. It just means I’m stuck only being confident when I’m speaking publicly at work, about Rhett Miller and television, while serving chocolate chip cookies.
Holy crap. I suck.
So tell me, what would you do if you had a prescription for Confidence, in a pill form?
Back in the Day · I Rock · Old 97's · Rhett Miller
Monica
said,
July 10, 2008 at 8:35 pm
If I could get confidence in a pill I would totally go back to school, but right now I’m a big fat baby looser.
Liza
said,
July 10, 2008 at 9:03 pm
I get a gigantic rush of confidence when I do something new that I didn’t think I could do or would be good at — even if I’m not good at it.
My most vivid memory of that is in around 2001, I went on a singles spelunking day trip. The guide took us into this area of cave that looked like a big mud slick with 7 or 8 inches of air over it in a space about 3 feet wide, and asked if anyone thought they could go through there.
One guy tried, but he tried going backwards, on his back, and went nowhere.
Then I volunteered. I crawled, face down (just above the mud) and made it to the next room of the cave — and I felt like a million bucks for the whole next week or so. Even though my shirt, shoes, jeans, socks, and even my bra were stained from the mud.
The other 2 things I think are good for confidence are the sort of “fake it till you make it” idea, and also the idea of deciding, “this is how I want to be during this experience.” Not necessarily “confident” but maybe more like “charming” or “a good listener” or “thoughtful” - and then checking in during whatever the situation is and mentally asking myself, “am I being XYZ?” And if not, what can I do to alter that?
Chas
said,
July 11, 2008 at 1:04 am
Hmm…would I take it? Probably not. I’m pretty self confident. Like you, when certain subjects come up in front of certain people I feel the need to excuse myself for a long bathroom break. My brother and my brother in law are both very knowledgeable when it comes to religion/Christianity/theology, both seminary trained, both hold Master’s degrees in Theology, one holding an extra in Christian counseling. My husband is also pretty schooled in these areas. While I’m no dummy (I swear!) and they’re all very easy to talk with when it comes to these subjects, I am don’t feel as if I can hold my own when they start into these discussions and debates.
Britt
said,
July 11, 2008 at 2:32 am
I can hardly talk to someone one on one, but I’m okay public speaking (if I have enough preparation time, like you said). Isn’t that weird? Speaking of confidence, I’m going to a party tomorrow where there will be a lot of people I’ve never held a decent conversation with. I’m terrified because I know we have very little in common.
Blue Goose
said,
July 11, 2008 at 3:33 am
Sign me up. I’m all about pilled confidence.
heidikins
said,
July 11, 2008 at 3:36 am
Why on earth is Britt posting comments at 2:30 in the freaking morning? Yowza!
Ahem, sorry, onto the commenting of my own…I am generally fairly confident, and can fake it if I’m not (and regularly fake it…confidence, that is. sickos).
heidikins
said,
July 11, 2008 at 3:37 am
…um…
Dear Isabel, Your tcommenty ime-stamp thingy is something like 6 hours off. If it were 3:30 in the morning I would definitely be sleeping.
Love, heidikins
Christar
said,
July 11, 2008 at 5:43 am
I’m pretty confident when it comes to talking. I can talk forever. If I’m around someone new, sometimes I’ll be shy and reserved at first, but it doesn’t usually take too much to get me to open up. I feel like I’m usually a pretty confident person. With most things, that is, except my body. I’m not confident whatsoever with my body. I have really bad image issues. I constantly am worrying about what I’m eating and how much I’m working out, so I know it’s bad. But most people have the same issues, so I don’t feel to much self pity.
Operation Pink Herring
said,
July 11, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Dude, don’t be afraid of REI. The people there are so nice. It’s the friendlist place on (retail) earth. If you DID decide to go hiking, you should definitely buy your hiking stuff at REI, that’s all I’m saying.
Did I tell you that we went to the REI store in Seattle on our vacation there? It was totally on Joel’s Must-Do-In-Seattle list.
Britt
said,
July 12, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I’m for shizzle not posting comments at 2:30 in the morning.