In which I present “My Awkward Phase”July 8th, 2008 @ 7:01 am
It’s no secret that I struggle with my look. I think the majority of grown women do. Am I right? I would be crazy to pass up on Casey Moosh’s offer to pay for a lucky blogger to get a new hair-do. I’d be ever crazier to pass this up since the all-powerful Whoorl and her Hair Thursday magic are involved.
Today we will be looking at pictures of my hair-past. Why you ask? Because I said so. And because sometimes you must share things with the internet in order to win a free hair make-over. Especially if you have a horrid hair-past like I do.
It all started when my mom, who it must be noted is a licensed hair cutter person, didn’t know what to do with my crazy toddler hair. Do you put it in little pig-tails? Do you put it in spongy curlers? Do you bother to comb it?
Heck no, you just cut the damn hair off and forget it ever existed. (Hey wait, are the couch cushions different from the couch? I’m going to have to talk to my Mom about that one.)
I mean who doesn’t love a little girl with hair shorter then most little boys? Compare my hair length to that of my older brothers. It’s neck and neck. Also, is that the exact same cut my mom is rocking?
I think it is.
See how I gave you a few cute pictures of me before I throw this bad boy in your face? Boo-ya, I present nose-picker sitting in front of a very creepy empty fireplace wearing a very odd jumpsuit. With maroon socks.
Looks like my mom was letting me grow my hair out a bit.
Good thinking mom. The extra length definitely takes away from the booger picking.
Clearly my father was a professional photographer. Check out this artsy photo of me. What you can’t see (because it’s B&W) is that my coat is rainbow colored. Very 70’s chic.
Here I’m sporting bangs. And a very pensive look. I call this portrait, “How Can I End World Hunger?”
Here’s where it all starts to get ugly. I don’t know about you, but I had a very intense awkward phase. It started the day I began the 6th grade and ended, well, it is just now starting to wind down. I would ask that you be kind and understanding. It would also help if you tried to remember back to your own awkward phase.
Continue at your own risk.
(You have been warned.)
(Seriously.)
My white sandals go great with the flannel shirt and shorts I’m sporting. My Mom made sure to never dress me in pink. As you can see that rule didn’t stand for my younger sister.
Who, by the looks of this picture, had some sort of itch.
(What’s the worst thing in this picture? My bangs or my sister’s itch?)
We all know that the 80’s look is currently very trendy. Too bad I didn’t hold on to this sweater that I got for Christmas in 1986. (What in the hell is my younger brother doing in this picture? Maybe he got my sister’s itch from using the toilet after she did.)
I had bangs for quite a few years prior to the whole Bigger Bang thing that was introduced to Utah (and the world) in the 80’s.
I rocked the straight cut bangs for years.
Not only was this awkward phase um, awkward, but I was also a little chubby. I assure you it was only baby fat and would leave by the time I was 25 35 (maybe?). The horizontal striped shirts I insisted on wearing and the pegged pants didn’t help to make me look thinner. Maybe standing in front of a dinosaur will help. And maybe by creating the highest bangs in the history of the world will make my face look thinner.
At least that’s what I was thinking.
Let’s look at a profile shot of from that same day.
Yep, the hair is high. And the pants are pegged.
Shudder.
The same trashy white sandals that I was wearing on the earlier camping trip picture made a second appearance! At least they look better with this skirt. A skirt that I was convinced(!) made me look thin. But only if I sucked in all day long. I wore that skirt all through middle school and junior high. It was good to me.
The bangs, yeah they weren’t as good to me. I just didn’t know it at the time.
Most of junior high was spent in a haze of hair spray. I divided my time between creating complex mathematical equations that would enable me to get my bangs to touch the sky and collecting necklaces to wear on top of each other.
Hey, it was a look.
I also discovered that if I braided my hair at night when it was wet it would look like a real live permanent wave by morning. I was by no means allowed to get one of those horrible perms, so I succumbed to a fake perm.
That’s right, I put my hair in small braids every single night of my life in an attempt to fake the look of a perm.
I also made my own lace for my collars and put shoulder pads in all my dresses. All of this kept me too busy to tweeze my brows. Dude, I was just too busy.
Somewhere between junior high and high school I lost The Bangs. But not before my dad convinced me to get all gussied up for our own at-home-backyard-photo-shoot.
(My dad scanned this picture and sent it to me. He titled it “model”. I’m not kidding.)
I spent my sophomore year doing what every other girl in my grade was doing; growing out my bangs. This took much longer for me since my hair was longer then should be legally allowed. Here I am sporting my First Day of School outfit. Yep, I’m ultra trendy and chose a plain white top. I’m sure all the boys noticed.
I preferred to pull my hair out of my face, but I knew this accentuated my forehead and my damn brows. So I cut a few pieces of hair to shield the head. Marci and I referred to them as “Kreblings” and they remained for years.
Thankfully I was no longer rocking the fake perm from my junior high days. I was, however, still rocking the super duper long hair.
My mom had a strict rule that I must pull some of my hair forward for every picture. She said this was to showcase my gorgeous long hair. Looking back I’m glad I followed her rule. It makes it easier to mock the length of my hair. (Notice how I said “mock” and I’m wearing a mock turtleneck in this photo? I’m clever. I wonder if Whoorl and Casey will give me extra points for that?)
Every picture taken of me has some hair pulled forward for the sake of the picture.
Even random shots had my pulling my hair forward. And I wasn’t even proud of my long hair. Only my mother was.
I didn’t get asked to many boy-choice dances in high school. Surprise, I know. I did go to the (girls-choice) Preference dance with The Most Preferred Junior boy. I lurved him. He was in a wheelchair and the Florence Nightingale effect was in full force.
I put so much time and effort into planning this date, but he picked another girl to escort him during the program. I tried to act like it didn’t bother me. Of course it did.
In an attempt to make this boy notice me, I decided to cut a ton of my hair off and wear a new fancy white bow for the dance.
At the time of this grand hair cutting my hair measured in at a whopping:
I should have done this years before.
My mom probably only cut a foot off, but it was a big deal to me. Nobody else noticed. I think it’s because they were too busy looking at the crazy polka-dot bow that Marci is wearing in this photo. This was smack dab in the middle of our “we must wear huge bows” phase.
My date never spoke to me again after the dance. I guess he wasn’t impressed with the foot of hair I cut off for him. I bet if I would have saved it and presented it to him in a little box he would have liked me more.
After high school and during college I decided to experiment with my hair a little. And by “experiment” I mean I let my drunk ass roommate cut it. And then I bleached it.
I looked so different that even I wasn’t sure this was me in this picture. Since I’m holding my cousin and my sister is standing next to me, I’m pretty sure it is me.
But dude, short and blond is not a good look for Isabel.
And yet, I wore my hair like that for most of my early twenties. Give or take the few days I added some cute little barrettes to jazz up my look.
By the time I met my first husband I had let my hair grow out a little bit. And I quit bleaching it. Thank goodness. He probably wouldn’t have paid me any attention if I had looked all blonde and crazy.
Oh wait, would that have been such a bad thing?
I’m a star!
(A star that sneaks into the local high school to get school pictures taken for cheap. Seriously, I was 21 at this point. And not a student at the high school. I can’t remember why I did this.)
Yeah, my hair was a little poofy and I had fake nails. And eyebrows that go on for days. This is exactly how you catch a man.
A few years later and my hair was slowly growing past my shoulders. (Now my older brother was the one bleaching his hair.)
I am still making the same damn face that I always make in pictures, head slightly tilted, eyes not opened all the way. It’s classic Isabel. Even if I try to not make the pose, I do it. Every time.
(This picture was taken in the middle of my divorce. I was still pretty much a mess. Don’t worry, that didn’t last too long.)
By the time I met The King my hair was long and straight and easy to keep up. I typically had it highlighted and blew it straight every day. I liked it. And I guess The King did to.
And then like most brides, I cut it all off after we got married. (Why oh why do girls do this?) Short hair is not a good look on me. I found this out the hard way and them immediately began growing it back out.
And while my hair is ultra flat and my roots are about two inches long (and yes, my glasses are blue), The King’s hair was big enough for the both of us. (Whoorl and Casey, can The King enter this little contest too?)
After a few years of marriage, adult braces, growing my hair out and learning that my hair’s actually naturally curly, I’m getting more and more used to my current look:
But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do whatever it takes to win Moosh’s make-over contest. Even if I winning means I have to subject myself to the embarrassments of posting 33 years of Isabel’s bad hair for all the interweb to mock.
So tell me, was your awkward phase as horrible and as long as mine was?
Back in the Day · Blog Addiction · I Rock · Me
Stephanie
said,
July 8, 2008 at 7:38 pm
I call the awkward phase my fat and greasy years. And yes, mine was just as long as yours. Too bad I am sporting an awful haircut as I type. It never ends huh?
Jezer
said,
July 8, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Oh, my word.
I think it’s fair to say that you have certainly left your awkward stage(s?) behind. I think your efforts and success should be rewarded. Good luck!
My awkward stage peaked in my early 20s. What can I say–I’m a late bloomer.
Liza
said,
July 8, 2008 at 8:21 pm
A-dor-a-ble. Really.
I think the bleached with little barrettes is the most entertaining of the looks you’ve ever sported. And the least you.
My awkward phase began at about 7, maybe 8, and continued with occasional good weeks until I was in my late 20s. I have pictures, but none that are scanned in and thus postable. What a shame. Heh.
Britt
said,
July 8, 2008 at 8:38 pm
I love your hair history, escpecially the bleached days. Awesome!
But more importantly, I recognize that dinosaur in the background above. Did you know that the dinosaur quarry has been condemned?? Sad, eh?
Danielle
said,
July 8, 2008 at 8:50 pm
2 year old Isabel looks just like 2 year old Babboo!
My awkward phase ended in my late 20s…although sometimes I still feel a little awkward at times!
marci
said,
July 8, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Oh my gosh I am laughing so hard! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the look back at all the hairstyles. You are brave!!! You should definitely win whatever contest you are in….
Casey
said,
July 8, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Boy, in that first picture you look so much like Babboo it is striking. As for the blonde hair, while I am a bigger fan of your current length, I do think that blonde hair looks nice on you.
Steph
said,
July 8, 2008 at 10:32 pm
I love this post. Good luck!
Blue Goose
said,
July 9, 2008 at 12:01 am
Long time reader, first time commenter: This is amazing! I doubt that I could even scrounge up all these awkward-stage photos, let alone have the guts to post them on the internet. Vote for Isabel!
*you’ve been goosed
maddye
said,
July 9, 2008 at 12:04 am
I think I had those same white sandals. Except I had a second and third pair in brown and black (because what wardrobe isn’t complete without the requisite three-color shoe choice?).
sizzle
said,
July 9, 2008 at 12:13 am
I did a hair retrospective last year: http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/03/04/sizzle-a-hair-retrospective/
Behold the hair!
I was blonde once too. I rather enjoyed it except for the roots. But I was also thin then so I suppose I look back on it more fondly because of that.
The big hair bangs- I SO remember that from back in the day!
Eve
said,
July 9, 2008 at 12:31 am
The resemblance with Baboo is uncanny!
Angella
said,
July 9, 2008 at 1:03 am
I have never gone blonde, but I did go burgundy. I believe it was by using some kind of mousse that colors your hair. Do they still make that stuff?
I was also a child of the big-bang-fold-n-roll era. Good times, good times.
Lindsay
said,
July 9, 2008 at 1:40 am
HAH!
Oh man, the pictures of me from junior high still make me cringe. And in high school I decided blonde would be a good look for me. Yeah, blonde is NOT a good look for me. It was moderately better than my big bangs days, but that’s really not saying much.
But seriously, this:
“I also made my own lace for my collars”
has me so baffled I just don’t know what to say. Granted we lived in different parts of the country, but we’re essentially the same age. Did people where you were really DO that? Crazy.
Megan
said,
July 9, 2008 at 2:45 am
Oh man, you should win for posting so very many, LOVE IT!!
Chas
said,
July 9, 2008 at 3:19 am
After putting that much thought and time into this post, you definitely deserve to win!
I actually love your current hair! You’ve definitely been through a major hair journey over the years though. My favorites are from the big bangs era…especially the lace collar picture, in which you look slightly like you might fit in in a polygamist sect ;).
Monica
said,
July 9, 2008 at 3:24 am
I would never have believed that you could have had an awkward phase. Most of the pictures weren’t your fault, you were a victim of the late 80’s and early 90’s like the rest of us.
My awkward phase didn’t last that long, but boy was it bad. Imagine having your mother agree to perm your hair and your aunt decided she would help. One rolled one side of my head and the other one rolled the other. At the end of the day I had one curly side and one wavy side. And it was PERMANENT! (for at least the next 9 months)
jenica
said,
July 9, 2008 at 5:20 am
thank you for this. my fave pic is the one with barrettes. yes, we’ve all been there. i certainly hope that you win.
xoxo
*your secret fan*
hehe
amieable
said,
July 9, 2008 at 5:40 am
Isabel, I love you SO much for this post. I have some of the very same pictures in my past. Including tall bangs and fighting with the natural inclination of one’s hair (mine is straight as nails but I curled it with a curling iron daily for like 10 years). I think current pictures of you are gorgeous so you don’t NEED to win, but I hope you do because this post is worth it!
My awkward phase includes an oily forhead and bangs. And tapered jeans. How did we survive the late 80’s early 90’s?
I’m sad I didn’t see any jelly shoes in those photos.
jennyonthespot
said,
July 9, 2008 at 1:37 pm
My awkward phase was shamefully extensive…
I love the pic with the mock turtleneck - because of the little bit of necklace popping out. We girls worked that look, didn’t we. Oh, fashion…
I love your shoes there in that last pic…. so “hot mom”!
meritt
said,
July 9, 2008 at 1:46 pm
All that was for a makeover contest!? LOL. It was enjoyable whether or not you win.
My awkward stage started when my Mom promised me a Farrah Faucett haircut in 2nd grade and after I told ALL MY FRIENDS AND CLASS MATES AND TEACHER… showed up to school the next day with hair SHORTER THAN THE BOYS.
She was NOT a ‘licensed haircutter person’ and kept trying to ‘even it up’ and ended up cutting my long blonde hair all off. I’ve blogged about this before actually. My Dad was driving home from work, saw me walking on the sidewalk and wondered ‘who that boy was’ walking down our block.
Dude, it was me.
And that ugly stage that started in 2nd lasted well, until I learned to tweeze my eyebrows somewhere around uh, 1997.
Maria
said,
July 9, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I loved the pic that your dad called ‘model’. Is that your naturally curly hair all by itself? If so I am jealous, ad you should let it curl, it is pretty.
The pic of you lying by the Christmas tree made you look sort of like Helen Hunt. I like her so that is a compliment.
Vesper
said,
July 9, 2008 at 3:14 pm
I agree with above commenters that you are currently gorgeous but good luck if you really want to win!
My awkward stage started in 2nd grade when I got glasses AND braces all in the same year. Since I lived in Utah at the time, I was rockin’ a very high “utah claw” (ie really tall bangs). It didn’t help that my glasses had a tint on them….so even though they were supposed to turn clear once you walked back inside a building they were perpetually tinted a light brown.
oye I cringe just thinking about pictures from about 2nd grade to 10th grade. I don’t even know if i’d have the courage to post any! You are brave! Three cheers for Isabel!
Keri
said,
July 9, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I was going to say the same how much Babboo looks like you - so I echo the others who already mentioned it.
I was laughing so hard reading this… not at you, but thinking about some of my best hair picc. You rocked the big bangs and seriously, the white jeans skirt - I had one too. LOVED it and wore w/similar sandals
Most days I still wonder what I am doing w/my hair. Trying to grow it out now but when I see pics, I think “is this a good move”
Jeannette
said,
July 9, 2008 at 6:16 pm
I love this post, it’s so funny! Sorry about that.
I hope you win… even though I don’t think you need a hair makeover anymore.
I have been going from long hair to short to long to short and finally growing them back a couple of years ago. And I still don’t understand how I thought I looked good with short hair!!! Also, I’ve had dyed (?) my hair in all possible colors and highlights. Worst was red (it was for a play) and now I’m blonde (it was also for a play but I ended up liking it).
K
said,
July 9, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I have these “Kreblings” but not by choice… I guess I have hair around my face that just won’t grow!!
I do not and have never had hair quite as long as yours was but I currently have it pretty long. I’m planning to donate it in the future but I haven’t picked a date quite yet.
Hope you win.
CP
said,
July 9, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Sadly, I am STILL living in my awkward phase. I plan to pick up as many cool makeup and hair tips as I can while at BlogHer. Seriously, I am not joking.
Rhi
said,
July 9, 2008 at 10:22 pm
I’m about 25 years into my awkward stage. I’m hoping it’s over soon
Christar
said,
July 9, 2008 at 10:57 pm
I seriously thought that first picture of you as a baby was Babboo! Holy crap! He looks just like you!
I have had many different hair styles, and just styles for that matter, in my short 22 years. Including the super duper long hair. Dude, I think I’m getting close to that again.
But you’re hot stuff!
elizabeth
said,
July 10, 2008 at 3:58 am
In that picture in front of the tree, you look like Winona Ryder for some reason. And I have to agree that the bleach blond ‘do with the barrettes takes the cake.
I’m sure there are many horrid pictures of myself. Actually, I know there are. There is my 8th grade picture in which my friend said I looked like a (native american) indian. I had a great copy of Seventeen and the cover model had a cute pixie cut. My aunt cut my hair (she was a professional) and (why was I surprised!?!) it did not look like the model. Durr.
Seriously, thanks for posting all these pictures. It was awesome, funny and hard to take all at the same time.
mk
said,
July 10, 2008 at 3:22 pm
wow… babboo and you as a baby are twins! I loved the pics! I had the mall bangs and pegged pants too!..lol…
moosh in indy. » You still have time for a Whoorlie do.
said,
July 10, 2008 at 3:27 pm
[...] Isabel from Hola, Isabel! [...]
Neil
said,
July 10, 2008 at 7:12 pm
So, far this is my favorite post of the month. I love the way you kept one side of your hair in the front to show it off! Frankly, I don’t think you were ever that awkward. One day, I’ll have to put up some of mine. At least you didn’t have geeky glasses!
Melain
said,
July 10, 2008 at 8:57 pm
No way. Your awkward stage was WAY worse than mine. Either that, or I spent years burning every picture I came acrossed until all the evidence was gone. But I don’t talk about that.
Nichole
said,
July 11, 2008 at 1:00 am
Your humiliation is our gain, apparently. That was tons of fun! Sadly, I think I’m still in my awkward phase. I’ll be 30 in November.
Greta
said,
July 11, 2008 at 3:10 am
I was scrolling through this post and my husband looked over my shoulder and asked, “Is this blog all about that girl’s bangs?!”
Thanks for sharing ;).
Durga
said,
July 16, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I’m still in my long hair awkward phase.
Have thought about doing something with my hair since high school….
I’m just too bloody lazy. Need to do something with the long hair. After this post I realise that it’s prolly not regarded a good look at all. I haven’t worn my hair out in MONTHS. I tried the side bangs look this time last year but then grew it out. Will look for other options soon.
and so she blogs » Blog Archive » In which Isabel discusses National Nude Day with the interweb
said,
July 17, 2008 at 6:42 am
[...] (Mostly because, hello, I deserve it.) [...]