In which I’m not really comfortable with my mom seeing me neekedJuly 1st, 2008 @ 7:01 am
My first husband and I never spoke of pooping. Ever. Not only did we never discuss this topic, we never actually pooped while they other person was in a 10 mile radius. Give or take a few miles. This tended to make things uncomfortable.
Especially vacations spent in cramped hotel rooms over an extended amount of time.
I’m not really sure the reasoning behind our No Pooping edict. Was it his fault? My fault? All I know is that we weren’t comfortable with pooping around each other.
Long before I was married I worked with a woman named Debbie. She and her husband had been married for ten years and had four children together. And yet Debbie never hid the fact that her husband had never seen her naked. Ever. Not when their four children were conceived and not when those same children were birthed from her (assumingly) naked body.
Debbie just wasn’t comfortable with her husband seeing her naked.
My ex-sister-in-law went through some fertility issues during my marriage to her younger brother. During this time she had quite a few medical procedures done on her body. One of which caused her some alarm. She was so upset by something that was happening to her girly parts that she made her mom come over and check it out.
I was all, “why doesn’t her husband just take a look?” and everyone in the family was all “her husband!? Oh no, her mom needs to check it out?”
I guess she was just more comfortable with her mom (who is not a doctor) seeing her special place up close and personal then her own husband.
Last summer one of my close girl friends asked a group of us if we want to go with her to this “woman’s only” sauna outside of Seattle. Apparently, since it’s just women, you can go naked in any of the saunas. Everyone thought this sounded like something fun for us ladies to do. Everyone that is, except me. I was quite confident that I wasn’t comfortable with my girlfriends seeing me sans clothing.
I know this is odd since I’ve admitted that I’m comfortable going to a nude beach.
I think the difference, for me, is that nobody at the nude beach knew me. I didn’t have to sit next to them at church on Sunday. I didn’t have to look at them over the dinner table on a Sunday night. I didn’t know their kid’s or their husbands. They were strangers.
I guess I’m saying I’m comfortable with strangers seeing me naked?
That doesn’t make sense.
Oh well.
I know I’m really, really not comfortable with my mom seeing me naked.
One of my very best friends had her first baby last week. While talking to her on the phone last night she told me she finally had to tell her mom and dad to leave her house so she could nurse her newborn in private. She just isn’t comfortable with them there while she whips her boobs out and feeds her kid.
I totally understand. I nursed Babboo for fourteen months and I never got super comfortable with doing it in public. I understand that it’s natural and all of that. It wasn’t that I was ashamed of nursing my child. I was mostly just ashamed of my fat rolls and my pasty skin. I wasn’t comfortable sharing it with the world.
It’s been hot around these parts the last couple of days. I keep asking Babboo if he wants to take his shoes off and run around in his sandals. He refuses. I don’t think he likes his toes being exposed. He’s just more comfortable with socks on.
The King is comfortable with almost everything. You want to see the mole on his inner thigh? He’ll show you. You want to hear about the topless shows we saw in Vegas a few years back? He’ll tell you. The only thing he really isn’t comfortable with is talking about my miscarriages. Or having my parents stay at our house.
Everything else, he’s totally game.
So tell me, what are some things that make you uncomfortable? And what are you totally comfortable with that might surprise the rest of us?
———————
You know I’m totally 100% comfortable talking about Brazilian waxing with you all. So much so that it’s my latest New Thing.
Anyone watching The Two Coreys? I am. And I blogged about it over at WeHeartTV.
Back in the Day · Me · The King · They're just my family · They're just my friends
carly
said,
July 1, 2008 at 4:18 pm
I’m not comfortable with anyone seeing me naked. That includes my husband. But that’s my issue not theirs. If I had your smokin hott little body people would probably start paying me to put my clothes back on. They’d be all “enough already, we get it, you’re hot”
But yeah… if I had issues with something down there I would sooner go to my husband than my mom.
Although that does remind me of the time my husband had to bend over so his mom (who was once a nurse) could diagnose a hemorrhoid. Haha… good times.
sizzle
said,
July 1, 2008 at 4:19 pm
I’m kind of the same way in that I would be more comfortable with strangers seeing me naked than friends but I would definitely have my boyfriend/husband/partner check out my bits before my mom. I mean my mom hasn’t seen that part of me in a very, very long time (think: diapers). I have heard this spa is awesome but it is the communal nakedness that keeps me from going. I have often wondered if I am a prude?
I will talk about pooping and have on many occasions (talked about it as well as…well, done it). I’m uncomfortable sharing confined spaces with people and having people in my space for long periods of time.
Britt
said,
July 1, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Ooooo! What a good topic. I could go on and on forever.
I wouldn’t ever call my mom if I thought something was wrong with my girl parts. I would have Scotty look. But then again, how would he know unless I were covered in boils or something??
Are the people who want to get nekkid with you in a sauna CHURCH PEOPLE??? Cuz that would be just awkward and wrong.
Topless shows in Vegas? Good grief!
Scotty and I have an open household. Everybody poops, and we are very forgiving. No need to hide. However, I have a friend who has never so much as seen her husband pee…. ever, and I think that’s weird, and she never ever ever discusses That Time Of the Month with him because she is so embarrassed about it. We, again, are pretty open about those things.
Marriage-101
said,
July 1, 2008 at 4:32 pm
I’m pretty much an open book. Poop, periods, boogers, everything. I would definitely go to my husband first and though we may gross each other out from time to time, it doesn’t affect the sex life so we’re all good.
CP
said,
July 1, 2008 at 4:39 pm
I think I’m more like you. I don’t really want anyone to see me naked but do realize, like Carly said, that it’s my issue, not anyone else’s issue. I don’t even like being naked in front of my husband but there are some body issues and confidence issues behind that. I didn’t mind when we were first married- 14 years and 3 kids ago.
My friends love going to that spa you mentioned- we all call it The Naked Spa. Me? I so far have not gone. Everyone jokes about getting me a gift certiticate to “The Naked Spa” but no one has actually done it yet. Whew!
And breastfeeding? In front of strangers, not so difficult. In front of friends and family? No way. Except my husband- that was no big deal for some reason.
Operation Pink Herring
said,
July 1, 2008 at 5:14 pm
I definitely like to keep some sort of level of privacy - like, I won’t pee (and certainly not poop!) in front of Joel (or anyone)… but we will say “be right back, gotta poop”, or “You might not want to go in the master bathroom for a few minutes”.
Honestly, I think that level of comfort grew out of our Joel’s daily announcements that one of the cats just took a giant dump in the litterbox and I’d better go scoop it out QUICK. It’s not a long jump from monitoring your pet’s pooping habits to telling your significant other the real reason you need to pause the Tivo for a few minutes.
Mrs. HIgrens
said,
July 1, 2008 at 5:20 pm
It’s okay for multitudes of internet friends whom I don’t know IRL to know ALL about our struggles with fertility, but we haven’t told many of our real life friends/family.
Am I a prude if it makes me squirm when my MIL brings up her and my FIL’s sex life? Because that’s really something I’m much more comfortable not knowing about even if she is comfortable sharing.
She Likes Purple
said,
July 1, 2008 at 5:33 pm
I’m comfortable talking about almost anything. Very few conversation topics make me uncomfortable. But I’m not comfortable with people touching me. I don’t know if this makes sense—and it doesn’t extend to my husband, obviously—but hugging and random arm brushing and hair playing and all that sort of casual touching HUMANS DO irks me. I just … I don’t know … like my space a lot. And when people invade it, I WANT TO HURT THEM.
I’m very odd. I know this.
Audrey
said,
July 1, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I am not comfortable with anyone but my husband seeing me naked. Going for my annual gyno visit and the occasional bikini wax is tolerable, but I would not be comfortable at all having a man perform either of those, uh, procedures.
Most things potty-related make me uncomfortable, but not to the extent where Tim and I hide that type of thing from each other. I’m just a big fan of the closed-door policy.
Also, my sex life? Totally between me and Tim. It’s okay to vaguely discuss it with close friends, but it is in no way okay to talk about sex (mine or anyone else’s) with family members. I was shocked (and uncomfortable!) at my bridal shower when grandmothers and aunts were giving me sexy lingerie and making all sorts of other sex-related comments. Hello, awkward! And don’t even get me started on the major over sharing that took place when my brother and his wife were trying to get pregnant. It’s all about respecting boundaries, people!
Liza
said,
July 1, 2008 at 5:47 pm
I’m pretty comfortable with the whole naked thing, although if I get the vibe that someone else is uncomfortable (ie public nursing) I tend to become more uncomfortable myself. Not sure I’d want to be naked around church people or my family, though! Nursing in front of them, yes. But not more exposed than that.
And if I had some sort of girly part issue that needed a physical “what should I do about this?” check, I would definitely pick my partner over my mom to do that.
Kim
said,
July 1, 2008 at 6:30 pm
I don’t mind being naked in my house, when it’s just me and the kid. I’ll walk around naked in front of the BF because he is love-blind and thinks I’m hot. God love him.
I’ve sunbathed topless in Mexico. It wasn’t a big deal. I was more uncomfortable with my top on, since it wasn’t the norm on that beach.
I’ve changed clothes in front of my girlfriends and even shared store dressing rooms. I don’t like to pee in front of my BF, but I’ll share a stall with my girlfriends. I don’t think I’ve ever pooped in front of anyone since I mastered the potty-training thing. I never breast-fed but had friends who did and they were discreet about it. It didn’t bother me.
If I ever needed a second opinion on something in my girly parts, I’d probably consult a medical professional. Sadly, I don’t have any friends who are doctors.
Jill
said,
July 1, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Naked is good at our house, behind locked doors. The kids don’t need to be seeing that.
Most of my family and my husbands have seen all my girlie parts cause I had a big party while giving birth. I even had an Aunt that I don’t like just walk in while I was pushing. There is absolutely nothing sexy about pushing out a kid.
Guess what? Debbie is my mail lady, and a really bad mail lady at that. It is a lucky day if I actually get my own mail and not the neighbors!
Laurel
said,
July 1, 2008 at 7:51 pm
My family is not prudish at all, but we still don’t really go around being naked in front of each other. I think at a certain point, you just need your privacy!
Keri
said,
July 1, 2008 at 8:31 pm
I never got comfortable nursing in public, but it doesnt bother me at all if others do so- it was my own issue that I couldnt get over.
I am going to read about your adventure in brazilian waxing. I imagine the pain involved wouldnt be bearable for a wimp like me.
Nic
said,
July 1, 2008 at 9:33 pm
I’m, not modest about people seeing me naked - though I NEVER EVER would have asked my mother to look - my area of modesty would have to deal with bathroom habits. I can’t talk about it.
Frema
said,
July 1, 2008 at 10:41 pm
I have never seen Luke pee. I saw an ex-boyfriend do it once, but it’s like he wanted me to see. Left the door open and everything, and I felt like I was supposed to be cool with it since he was cool with it. But it’s weird. Though I don’t mind my sisters seeing me naked. They’ve watched me pee (yes, I know), nurse, pump, and it’s all fine.
However, I do not want to see my friends butt naked, and I don’t want them to see me, either. So I wouldn’t go to that spa, either.
Lizarita
said,
July 1, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Hi! (And yes-I am back in the land of the living.) I can honestly say that I can’t think of ANYTHING that I’m uncomfortable with. Shocking-I KNOW. Nekkidness-no problem. Pooping-I announce it. I don’t pee in front of Justin but that’s because HE’S uncomfortable with it, not me. I didn’t nurse my girls, but I don’t think I’d have a problem whipping out a boob.
Now that I think about it, maybe I SHOULD be a little more modest/uncomfortable about certain things. Maybe then I wouldn’t have been voted “Most Likely to go Skinny Dipping” at my 10 year reunion.
the wifey
said,
July 2, 2008 at 3:14 pm
heh… i was on a mission trip to slovakia once where we thought it would be nice to visit a spa before heading back to the states. we didn’t realize that everyone there would be nude. luckily, none of the guys saw the girls and vice versa, but it was quite the shocker. as far as sitting next to them in church once we were back home, we just laughed it off and i think we all silently swore never to do THAT again.
i also have a friend who i competed in pageants with (shhh! don’t tell anyone that i ever competed in those) and so we are both comfortable getting naked in front of each other. probably because we once bonded while helping tape each other’s boobs into our dresses. yup.
as far as the hubby goes, the only privacy i want is when i’m on the potty and i get it.
Chas
said,
July 3, 2008 at 2:48 am
I’ve never been uncomfortable with my husband seeing me naked. As a matter of fact, he probably gets tired of me running around unclothed. My daughter seems to have inherited my distaste for clothing while at home. I was always OK with former boyfriends seeing me sans clothing (not that there were many that got this opportunity…only 2 actually aside from J). With that said, there’s no one else I’d feel comfortable being completely nude in front of….not my my mom (I’m ok w/ just underwear, but not 100% nude), not my girlfriends,…nobody.
I also was never comfortable breastfeeding in public. I nursed Lila for 16 months, and never once did I do it in public. I’m OK with others doing it, but it just wasn’t for me. I knew I’d feel too awkward and preferred being comfortable while doing it.
OK..The Two Corey’s. I watched it last year…eh, it wasn’t that good. When I read an interview with Corey F. and he said that all of the conflict was staged, well, it ruined it for me. Also, the fact that he and his wife never even mention their kid…like the whole show is set up as if he doesn’t exist, well, that lends to the unbelievability of the show.
Sadie
said,
July 8, 2008 at 2:10 am
Totally can’t stand to poop around anyone. Even with my husband, I would go to the bathroom in a different part of the house.
And in a hotel? The lobby bathroom. No matter whom I’m traveling with.