In which I hide behind my curtains and hope nobody sees meJune 5th, 2008 @ 5:27 pm
One of the many places my ex-husband I lived in was a house that his great uncle owned. It was a very, very old house. Old enough that it was the house his great uncle has been raised in. The house was just a little farm house with only two little bedrooms and a bathroom that always seemed like more of an after thought.
My ex’s family wanted to keep the old farm house in the family. I liked the fact that his uncle only charged us a few hundred dollars a month in rent and they were just happy that we were willing to live in the house.
Unfortunately his uncle lived next door to our little farm house and my in-laws lived across the street.
Suede (which is what I like to call my ex, mostly because he hated that nickname) worked evenings and I worked days. I would get home from work every afternoon and have about five hours to kill until he would get home. This was perfect on the sunny days where my girlfriends and I would head out right after work to do something fun. But on the boring days where I had no plans between quitting-time and husband-getting-home time, I had to try to kill the time.
When we first moved into the house, I was excited to spend my free afternoons working out in the yard. I had never had my own yard before and the thought of planting flowers I bought and watering them with my very own garden hose was thrilling. One of my first free afternoons was spent at the nursery picking out the perfect plants for the yard. I came home with a crate full of pretty flowers and a new shovel. I turned on some music and started planting away.
Almost as soon as I starting planting the flowers, Suede’s great aunt appeared from inside her house. She didn’t say anything to me, she just messed about in her own yard. I couldn’t be sure, but I felt like she was there to watch me. To make sure I didn’t do anything she didn’t approve of. Since I wasn’t planting marijuana or burying dead babies, I was pretty sure I wasn’t doing anything that she wouldn’t approve of.
I shook of my feelings of being watched and just kept planting.
The next afternoon after work, I went back out in my yard to check on my new plants and to give them some water. Almost immediately after I turned on the hose, Suede’s aunt appeared in her yard. She wasn’t doing anything really, just puttering around her yard. But again, I felt like I was being watched. This time it wasn’t as easy to shake off this feeling. I quickly finished my tasks and went back inside my house.
The next day, Suede’s aunt was already out in her yard when I pulled in the driveway after work. It was as if she was waiting for me. I nodded to her as I unloaded my car and walked inside my house. I closed the front curtains as soon as I put my things down and decided to stay inside the rest of the afternoon.
I was a married adult and I didn’t like feeling like a child who needed supervision. Especially when I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
Okay, so I admit that this all might have been in my head. Suede’s aunt was a pleasant lady-even if she was a million years old. She had lived next door to the little farm house since she had been a new bride. She was probably just used to keeping tabs on the old farm house, no matter who lived there. And really, it was technically her house. Suede and I were just (paying) tenants.
The rest of the time Suede and I spent in the old farm house had me shut inside with the curtain closed. The yard work was only done when it had to be done. I gave up on having bright flowers and spending time out in the sun in my yard.
As you’ve all heard, The King and I moved into our new house this weekend. It’s still technically under construction, so yard work is the last thing on my mind. I’d like to first hang up some window coverings and maybe figure out where the toothpaste is. Then I’ll think about tacking the yard.
Maybe.
And since work is still being done on the house, it means that when Babboo and I get home in the afternoon, we aren’t alone in the house. The King’s dad, who is semi-retired and awesome enough to help us, is there working on the last few odds and ends. It really has been a blessing for us to have him available to help us with the new house, but still, it feels a little odd to come home to a house where someone else, someone that doesn’t live there, is working away.
I know my father in law isn’t watching me. I know he isn’t keeping tabs on me. I know this.
And yet, I can’t stop feeling like I did with Suede’s aunt. I immediately want to put down my things and hide from my father in law on the top floor with Babboo.
But yeah, I’m a married adult and mother and I just can’t do that.
Last night Babboo and I made dinner while my father in law was in the basement working on my new house.
So tell me, am I the only one that feels super weird knowing that someone is watching me in my own house?
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Head over to read all about my latest New Thing. (And dude, I wrote that post before last night’s ride home on the bus where the bus driver decided to take his own route headed in the completely wrong direction and I feared that we were being hijacked by a terrorist. Seriously.)
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Back in the Day · Me · The New House · They're just my family
Kayla
said,
June 5, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Whenever someone is at my house fixing something I feel that way. Like all awkward and I should just hole up in a room where they don’t need to be.
Stephanie
said,
June 5, 2008 at 6:08 pm
I don’t so much as hide from my neighbors but have the awkward - “Do I say something? Do I not say something?” toss up. Like our deck in our backyard sits close enough to our neighbors that we see them when we are out there. ANd we are very friendly with them, but sometimes I just want to eat my damn dinner on the deck with my husband. So I ignore. Then sometimes I want her to tell me what the heck is this flower growing in my flower beds and what should I do with it?
But the little girl who comes over and walked into our house without us in there before? Um, yeah. I hide from her. Quickly.
Carrie
said,
June 5, 2008 at 6:10 pm
This would SOOOO be me if I lived next-door to my MIL, SIL, and Grandmother-in-law in Poland (they all live together). I just KNOW they would be watching my every move (whether it would be from the window or outside). When MIL and SIL were staying with us for 3 months last year MIL got upset with me and told my husband that she didn’t like that I vacuumed the apartment one day. She said it wasn’t “dirty enough to vacuum yet” and that I was probably just doing it because I thought THEY were dirty. WHATEVER. It’s OUR apartment not hers!
Audrey
said,
June 5, 2008 at 6:26 pm
You’re definitely not the only one! I always feel weird when a repairman is at my house. I never know if I’m supposed to hang out in the same room as him or go do my own thing and leave him alone. Either way it feels very awkward, and it’s one of the many reasons I’m glad to be married to someone who makes the necessity of calling a repairman a very rare occurrence.
judy haley
said,
June 5, 2008 at 7:06 pm
oh I cant stand that feeling of being watched. I cant concentrate, I cant relax, it really sucks
Operation Pink Herring
said,
June 5, 2008 at 7:19 pm
I would find it strange, too.
I bet the aunt was just so lonely/bored that she couldn’t tear herself away from your thrlling garden work. But yeah, I also would have found that unsettling.
marci
said,
June 5, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Oh how I love working in the yard! Oh how I hate being spied on! I definitely hate it when someone is here working… I never know what to do. Do I offer them a diet coke? Do I pretend they are not here? Do I try to chat with them? Awkward! At least it is you father in law, someone you know and love! (right?) It is nice of him to help finish up the odds and ends in your new house!
Kathleen
said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:26 am
This is my life right now, having someone else in my house. We’ve had family here for a month straight, and even longer on-and-off before my heart incident happened. But come the 10th, it will be officially one month since my MIL arrived to watch Elanor for what we thought was a few days.
It’s been weird, and I have definitely had to get over some things (like feeling like I have to entertain her) but honestly, I’m getting really used to it now. I’m sure it will seem weird someday when Brett and I and Elanor are alone in the house again.
Christar
said,
June 6, 2008 at 2:16 am
I don’t have a place of my own to escape. Ever. If I’m at home, my family is there, if I’m at Shaun’s… well, obviously Shaun is there. There are times I really, really wish I had my own place so I could just get away when I felt like it. It’s kinda difficult at the moment.
Dude, I just realized that by you guys moving into the New House, when the King is working on the New House, he will also be home! So that is super awesome that you’ll get to see him lots more! And YAY to the house almost being done! I seriously am so excited for you.
Adria Sha
said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:16 am
Being an adult means you can’t do that? That’s EXACTLY what I would have done!
Durga
said,
June 6, 2008 at 2:38 pm
U’ve had to put up with alot of crap in the past. i’m so excited for u now with your awesome husband and the cutest child in america in your life/home. I didn’t realise u’ll have ur own yard now! omgoosh that’s so wonderful! u can sit out there in the weekends in summer sipping lemonade, reading a book and lazing around with the king while babboo plays with the water hose and runs around playing…aww it’s so great!
Laurel
said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:42 pm
I’d feel weird, too, especially with in-laws. Even when in-laws are nice, they’re weird!
Keri
said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Oh I dont like being spied on. When I was reading this and you were saying about Suede’s aunt watching, I kept thinking of that old movie “Watcher in the Woods” Did you ever see it? So scary (ok maybe only super scary when you’re a tween, but still)
Wait - the bus driver went the wrong way!!!!!! I have to go read! Did I ever tell you how I used to take the bus when I lived in Seattle. Every day. Used to run to get the last express home every night! what memories. I loved my bus pass.
angela
said,
June 8, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Well now that Nick and I are shacking up with his parents, his grandmother and two of his brothers, I know exactly what you mean. It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just that I want my own space to do my own thing.
HollowSquirrel
said,
June 12, 2008 at 2:07 am
I think I know how you feel. I don’t like feeling like i may be judged for how I do things on my turf.