In which I lament over how my Birthday Monies should be usedMay 21st, 2008 @ 7:01 am
Like most red-blooded American, I like getting money and gift cards! Since it was my birthday and Mothers Day last week, I’ve recently come into a windfall of both (thanks to parents that, clearly, have more disposable income then I do). I’ve always liked having my birthday in May because it’s the perfect time to use said birthday money to buy new clothes for the upcoming summer months.
Using someone else’s money for my new clothes allows me to be better dressed while also spending money, guilt free.
It’s very good for Isabel.
Since May’s in town from Reno, she and I decided to make a quick trek up to the local outlet mall (and by “local” I mean “almost all the way to the freakin’ Canadian border) to use some of my awesome Ann Taylor gift cards.
Since we’re going on a beach vacation in September, I’m currently in the market for some light summer shirts. And since I’m currently addicted to OPH and RA’s Mission: Put Together flick group I’m also in the market for some cute summer blazers. And since my life sucks, the local outlets offered none of what I was looking for.
Blast.
(That’s not entirely true. I did get two T-shirts at Banana. But they were on sale for $5, so that doesn’t count.)
What I’m saying is that my birthday goodies are burning a hole in my proverbial pocket. I’m itching to spend them. I’m stalking the stores, daily, to find something to spend them on.
On Sunday morning, while digging in my purse for my glasses, I noticed there was a small pile of change at the bottom of my purse. And then I noticed that my reliable wallet (which I purchased at Target about 7 million years ago) had busted open. I tried to save it by fusing the metal on the zipper with shear mind force.
But alas, it was dead.
When telling The King that I would need to purchase a new wallet, he was all “Perfect. Just use some of your birthday money.”
Okay, here’s where the use of my Birthday Money gets all muddled.
Do I have to use my birthday money to purchase something that I would have had to purchase anyway? Should birthday money be used on a necessity like a wallet? I feel like if I were to spend my (hard-earned) birthday money on a new (and may I add, boring) wallet it would be like using it to buy tampons or toothpaste. I feel like birthday money should only be allowed to be spent on things (for me) that I wouldn’t normally buy.
Like new summer clothes.
Okay, and what about using my birthday money to buy myself new make-up. I’m not talking fancy new eye shadows and lip gloss. All boring stuff. I’m currently out of eyebrow gel. Am I required (by whom, I’m not sure) to use my birthday money for a quick trip to Sephora* to pick some up, or can I just use non-birthday-money?
I also need some new shoes. And not cute, fancy heeled shoes for work and play, but necessity shoes for walking. Do I have to use my birthday money for that? I mean, I would have to buy them anyway. Anyway! Can’t I save my birthday money for shoes that aren’t even sort of practical? You know, shoes I wouldn’t typically buy, it’s just that I happen to have some extra birthday money right now.
For now, the birthday money sits, unused, at the bottom of my purse (I have no wallet to put it in). And, for now, I have no walking shoes or gel for my eyebrows.
So tell me, what is your policy on spending Birthday Monies? Do you feel it should only be spend on things above and beyond what you would typically spend money on? Or do you just deposit it into your checking account and use it to buy groceries, because hello, money is money and it all goes to the same place?
*I was out with some girlfriends on Monday night. One of them starting talking about all of her package from “Sefforaa” and after a while we were all “huh?” and she was all “You know, SEFFORAA?” Yeah, she meant Sephora. She just didn’t know who to pronounce it. Which leads me to wonder…is she pronouncing it right and the rest of us are wrong? I mean, does anyone truly know the correct pronunciation of Sephora?
Addictions · Me
She Likes Purple
said,
May 21, 2008 at 10:33 pm
I had this talk with a friend the other day about Etsy. I pronounce it “Et-see.” But she swears it’s “Eat-see.” And it’s kind of hard to know who’s right since you can’t walk into an Etsy store and force the cashier to say it.
sizzle
said,
May 21, 2008 at 10:39 pm
This is the problem (one of many) with the internet. We don’t know how to pronounce things. Same goes for “meme.” Everyone pronounces it differently but on the internets we just have to type it. Easy. Peasy. How do you think Sephora is pronounced? I wonder if anyone pronounces it Sep Ho Ra?
I like to spend my birthday money on treats but often, it goes to necessities.
Rhi
said,
May 21, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Oh my. Am I pronouncing it wrong? I don’t think I am. I mean I go there ALL the time.
But, Jennie is right, it is Etsy. Not eat-sy. That just sounds silly.
I think birthday money should be spent to buy something you wouldn’t normally buy. Like if you were going to get a fancier wallet then you would normally, or maybe eyebrow gel with glitter (hopefully there is no such thing, which brings me to the point, my friend WAS wearing glitter on her face the other day and I do think I need to take this issue into my own hands.)
ie
said,
May 21, 2008 at 10:47 pm
I actually had to look up “meme” on dictionary.com to make sure I knew how to pronounce (and what the hell it meant).
I don’t have any *smart* gift givers (yet) who get me cash cards. When I do, I think it will be used for upgraded “necessity” items (see glitter eyebrow gel! referenced above). No, really, if I needed a new wallet, then I would use it to get a better quality one or new shoes, better made or higher priced, that kind of thing. Then when all that nonsense was over, I would use the leftovers for something totally frivolous.
Of course, I recently broke my own rule. My SIL had given me a Celine Dion CD (either she thinks I have really bad taste or She has really bad taste) for Christmas. Anyway, no receipt and I get a store credit for YakMart. Which I promptly spend on (a) a cat toy and (b) hand lotion for my Mom (which she promptly lost).
super des
said,
May 21, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I’ve always pronounced it Sefforra, and everyone’s always seemed to know what I was talking about. Or maybe I was just so confident in my pronunciation that everyone just went along with it.
As for bday monies, I’ve done it all. I’ve put it in my bank account to pay bills. I’ve saved it up and gotten tattoos (which I’m sure the givers of the monies probably wouldn’t approve of). I’m always happier when I buy something fun with it. I agree that you should maybe buy the wallet, but buy one that is more expensive than you normally would. Or just don’t use your bday monies for it at all.
I need to start thinking about this too, as my bday is in a coupla weeks and it will be right after I get my 1st paycheck from my new job. That’s justification enough for me to buy fun things.
Jen
said,
May 21, 2008 at 10:52 pm
I go for pronouncing the ph as an f sound but possibly only because the nearest Sephora (unfortunately for me but good for my bank balance) to me is in France and I think its originally a European company.
My policy with birthday money is using it to buy something you wouldn’t have done otherwise either totally different purchase or upgrade an item.
Pia
said,
May 21, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Like Jen wrote, the “ph” is pronounced as “f” and yes it’s a European company, and the “o” is neatly pronounced like the Swedish “å” hence Sefååra
I definitely think b’day money should be spent on special things, not the should-have-bought-anyway-stuff!
heels
said,
May 21, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Practical stuff you would buy anyway=regular money
Frills and stuff you can’t otherwise justify=birthday/special money
Though, I usually have to use my special money on bills because we are poor-ish. SAD.
Brittany
said,
May 21, 2008 at 11:07 pm
Sephora is building a distribution warehouse up the street from me, and their radio ads pronounce ‘Sefora.’
Speaking of Sephora, why are they building a DC in my city when there is no Sephora in Utah? (I’m thinking this means they will be all over the place any minute now). Scotty was considering applying for a job there!! Can you imagine!!!!
Procrastamom
said,
May 21, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Sephora isn’t pronounced Seff-ore-ah?
The wallet, shoes and eyebrow gel should be purchased with necessity money and not fun birthday money. IMNSHO.
And you were at Tulalip? It’s so neat that I can picture you there (you were at Tulalip right?)…I go down there every chance I can get and when we pass by without stopping to shop, I get drool on the car window.
Monica
said,
May 21, 2008 at 11:20 pm
You should totally spend it on something you love, it’s your birthday after all.
I’m way to practical and it sucks. Unless people give me gift certificates to a place that I can’t buy anything for anyone else I always seem to use birthday money for my kids or bills.
Nic
said,
May 21, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Birthday money is still a birthday present but it allows you to use your discretion for spending it. It’s a gift that should buy gift type things that you will love. Not common things that you NEED.
janet
said,
May 22, 2008 at 12:00 am
hmmm tough call. I think you need to buy the necessities but also do some splurging (it’s mentally satisfying, no, NECESSARY)
Also, I say Suh-FOR-uh
Lindsay
said,
May 22, 2008 at 12:24 am
I’m bad at typing things out phonetically, but I have always said (and heard it said) “seh-FOR-uh”, which to me, looks much like your rejected “sefforaa”. So either I’m reading YOUR phonetic spelling incorrectly (which syllable was accented? That info might help), or you apparently don’t approve of my pronunciation either!
hehe.
Also, I’m fairly certain I haven’t gotten birthday money since high school, when the ONLY things I spent my personal money on were “fun” things, and not boring necessities. So CLEARLY it must be the LAW that you spend it on fun things. There is NO POSSIBLE FLAW in my logic.
jean
said,
May 22, 2008 at 1:25 am
I’m new to your blog and I love this post. I have always used the money and gift cards to buy necessary items. I know that is boring and dull and I fully intend to splurge on myself next time.
Chris
said,
May 22, 2008 at 1:55 am
My family will not send birthday gifts in the form of money because they do not believe that it should be spent on things that you would purchase anyway. I have begged to just have a gift card from Target (etc…) or even a bookstore, so that I don’t have to come up with an item that can be bought for me… but they refuse. They are convinced that I would buy groceries, or books for the kids, etc.
So my question is, if it makes me happy to buy a book or a toy for my child, or a new carseat, that I don’t really need, just because my old one isn’t as nice, and it has already been through two children, shouldn’t I be able to? Does my birthday gift have to be for me and only me?
I guess the answer to your question is that you should be able to purchase whatever makes you happy with your birthday money. If the same old stuff that you have to buy anyway does not make you happy, then budget it into your regular funds… save your birthday money for something that will bring a smile to your face!
Just the two cents of a blog stalker/total stranger.
debra
said,
May 22, 2008 at 2:43 am
When in doubt, I always try to find the word I don’t know how to pronounce on howjsay.com
Sephora is there…
Brie
said,
May 22, 2008 at 3:01 am
Birthday money is to be spent on things I would not buy myself otherwise.
Frema
said,
May 22, 2008 at 3:43 am
I’m with Lindsay. I say Seh-FOR-uh. Also, I think how birthday money is spent depends on your financial situation at the time. If you can afford the make-up and clothes without the birthday money, go for it and use your gifts for something really special.
(Also, obviously I’m checking your blog from home because work’s firewall has labeled your site as “Pornography.” Ha!
CP
said,
May 22, 2008 at 3:53 am
Um, doesn’t the money all come from the same place? If you use a gift card at one store for essentials but then spend money from your bank account on new summer clothes, doesn’t it just balance out?
Emily
said,
May 22, 2008 at 6:29 am
I hate to disappoint, but have you checked the weather for where you’re going in September? I don’t necessarily associate Germany in September with beach and swimming…brrr
Professor Art Nerd
said,
May 22, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Kev and I have a strict “birthday money is my money” policy- meaning all the rest of our monies are ours to share, but we can’t tell one another how to spend birthday monies (which, btw, I always call monies, in the plural). This year, I spent my birthday monies on a 3D ultrasound, which I never would have gotten otherwise.
Heather
said,
May 22, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I usually head to the store with the best of intentions on using it to buy things for me. But inveriably it ends up being used on things I needed but were not in our budget to buy so I was just doing without. Or it does what my gift cards are doing now, sits in my purse for several months until I FINALLY force myself to just go use the thing already.
Stephanie
said,
May 22, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I say it the way everyone else does, but now that I think about it… My name is Stephanie. Take the “t” out and it is sefffanie. So I totally see how she gets Seffora out of it.
How do you say the crayon? crown or craaay-on
Operation Pink Herring
said,
May 22, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Not that I have ever been there, but I say “Seh-For-Ah”. Is that wrong?
Birthday monies should be spent on something for you that you really want, but wouldn’t buy normally. Like fun shoes. Not something you need like a boring wallet. Boo to that.
KaLee
said,
May 22, 2008 at 2:41 pm
This topic has been discussed many, MANY times at my house. My husband is of the opinion that you just put it into the checking account and continue with life. I hold onto my birthday money for MONTHS–waiting for that perfect item(s).
Laurel
said,
May 22, 2008 at 3:51 pm
I also think that birthday money should be spent on FUN things. However, I usually guilt myself into buying necessities. Snooze. I long for the day when my parents give me a frivolous birthday gift instead of “something I need but can’t afford.”
Jenn Bo
said,
May 22, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Birthday money or any unexpected moola tends to sit around for a long time. The last check from my mother sat on the fridge for about 4 months before I finally cashed it and only because I finally purchased something that was truly an extravegance (i.e., spending more on shoes than I could ever justify).
I tend to hold gift cards for a long time. I still have wedding gift cards that are nearly 2 years old. Oy! I spend them when I find something that I want but is not on sale (I like sales). So gift cards are almost like coupons to me. When you pair them with real coupons, I feel delighted with my “savings”.
eva
said,
May 22, 2008 at 5:22 pm
You still GET birthday money??!!! Lucky duck!
meritt
said,
May 22, 2008 at 5:23 pm
My billfold zipper has been broken for about a year… or is it 2 years now? So when you finally decide to get your butt over to Target and buy a new one will you pick me one up too please?
As for Sephora - I had no idea there was such a dispute over how to say it. The only way I’ve ever known anyone to say it is “Sefor-ah’ I assumed everyone was saying it right… but then again it opens up the whole Aeropostal thing because EVERYONE SAYS IT WRONG AND DRIVES ME NUTS! LOL.
Everyone says “Aero pahstal” when it’s Aero- post- al - sigh. (I asked the manager just to be sure and she assured me it’s areopostal with a “pahstal’.
And thirdly - because I tend to ramble (it’s just the coffee talking…) is that when I first saw Etnies tennis shoes we went to the mall asking for “E-tennies” and we were rudely informed it was Etnies. Uh-huh. Well, the internet didn’t pronounce it for us so how did we know?
Keri
said,
May 22, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I dont like to get $$ for my bday b/c then I deposit it in my acct & never really use it for goodies. I much rather enjoy gift certs. I love to save them up (from christmas , bday, etc) until I can then go on a spree for spring clothes.
You should NOT use your bday dough for a new wallet… In my opinion.
I did get a ATloft flyer in the mail yesterday with a coupon for $$ off which I might HAVEEEEEEE to use this weekend.
Danielle
said,
May 22, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Never ever use birthday money to buy things you have to buy anyway. It’s a psychological thing for me. Even though I don’t have anyone I have to share finances with (and hence have to justify spending), I still don’t use gift cards to purchase ordinary things. Nuff said.
Also, I call it Suh-FOR-uh… is that how you say it?
Sadie
said,
May 22, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Here’s what I think. If you would have bought the item without birthday money and would NOT have felt guilty about buying the item b/c it’s something you NEED, you don’t use the b’day money for it. Like, if you just wanted a nicer, fancier wallet, you should use b’day money. Since your wallet is broken and you NEED a new one, don’t have to use b’day money.
Similarly, if you’d buy the eyebrow gel anyway, it’s non-birthday. If you want to try some fancy expensive new product, birthday money is appropriate.
Wow, I didn’t know I had such specific birthday money rules!
And I pronounce it Suh-FOR-uh, too.
Stacey
said,
May 22, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Until this year, all of my gift cards and money have gone toward necessities: car repairs, groceries, tampons, whatever. This past Christmas, I did something that felt GREAT: I used all of my money from family members to purchase items I’d been wanting to the point of *needing*. Sure, I could have used a few extra groceries or new socks or something, but I still look at my shiny new printer and external hard drive and smile. Dorky? Yes. But I don’t care.
elizabeth
said,
May 23, 2008 at 3:32 pm
I agree with using my birthday money for something great… but if I need something, going for the upgrade. Usually, I’ll spend some of it on something for me and the rest just ends up in the bank account with all the rest of our money and spent on groceries or something.
And about your AT giftcards… I go through periods where all their clothes turn me off. So don’t fret, eventually they”ll come out with something you like
Durga
said,
May 23, 2008 at 4:11 pm
We don’t have Sephora here but I’m glad we went to one in the US.
~~
Bday monies should be spent on things u really want unless u r broke/behind on your bills maybe then they take priority. But buying fun things for yourself is prolly what the giver intended with the monetary gift for a Birthday.
Let us know what u ended up buying….complete with pictures please
metalia
said,
May 23, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Wait. It’s NOT pronounced Seff-ORE-uh? Have I been saying it wrong this whole time? Halp.
judy
said,
May 25, 2008 at 7:05 am
I feel very strongly about this - birthday money is not to be spent for tampons, or vacuum cleaner bags, or replacement wallets.
birthday money shouldn’t be used to replace things
happy birthday
Amanda
said,
May 26, 2008 at 4:58 pm
bit late to reply I know but this is on my mind too…
I used to get what I considered a LOT for Christmas and a decent gift at my birthday. It was only when I went to uni I realised most people get an awful lot more than me. To me it was frivolous (lol) especially as, being a poor student and theN equally poor care worker, I have spent my past few birthdays and Christmasses using my gift money to pay off my overdraft or buy much needed trousers (’cos mine were too big/small or I needed a new pair for my new job!)
I recently had a birthday and received (from a mixture of family and friends) a total of £70. Having moved into a new flat I had told people if they were going to buy my presents they should be things I could use in my home. Pretty things I wouldn’t necessarily buy but would enjoy - that to me was spoiling myself but to everyone else it wasn’t enough. T paid for me to have my hair cut and bought me a new hairdryer and I felt so GUILTY because no one had ever spent that much on me before and usually I get my Aunty to cut my hair for free! I was going to add £30 to my birthday money to buy a new camera as mine broke over a year ago now and I miss it so much as when I have a camera I am the happiest girl in the world. Have I bought that camera?! Nope - I used my money to buy food :o(
All’s not lost though… T is working on me and keeps reminding me I need to draw £100 out of my bank and actually buy that camera - no matter how poor I am I need to splash out once in a while, so he says. I feel quite excited by that… so I guess after all this rambling what I mean to say is - being someone who has often spent her birthday money on necessities I’d suggest you DON’T DO IT!!! How often do you get to spoil yourself?? You go get what you want and I’ll go buy my camera - how’s that sound?!
Audrey
said,
May 28, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I have always felt that birthday money and gift cards are to be used for special treats for yourself — for things that you might not have gotten otherwise, were it not for the free money.
Also, the only reason I think I have any idea how to pronounce Sephora is based on how the store employees say it when they answer the phone.