Exactly how “secret” is this supposed to be?March 7th, 2008 @ 7:01 am
At church we’re doing this fun activity for the next month where you are assigned a Secret Sister. Every week you get to do something nice for this person, you know, in secret. You’ve all done something like this before, right? It’s like a Secret Santa…except not at Christmas. And not with snowman wrapping paper, ribbons, and bad fruitcakes.
On Sunday night I was assigned my Secret Sister. I was super excited since it was someone I wasn’t that familiar with (hooray, new friend!), someone who was close to my age (please, love me!), someone with kids (we have so much in common!), and someone who seems pretty hip (I love your sparkly earrings and boots!).
This little Secret Sister project is supposed to be about serving those around us. Suggestions for things to do for this person included leaving a plate of cookies on their porch, mailing a thoughtful card, or making them a simple gift. It isn’t about spending money really, mostly it’s just about serving others (and being served). Since we don’t live in our new house yet and inside the geographic bounds of our new congregation, I don’t really have the option of leaving something on my Secret Sister’s porch anonymously. I decided I would just have to mail her a little package every week this month.
This week is the first week of the Secret Sister project and so I wanted to start off with a bang. I thought and thought and thought about what to get for this Secret Sister, who I knew absolutely nothing about. I decided that I’d get her something that I would like and hope that she’d like it too. Since I spent most of this week close to death, I was afraid I wouldn’t get my package out in time.
Yesterday morning, before I went into work, I stopped at the local Rite-Aid and bought her the latest double issue of “People” magazine and a huge candy bar. I wrote her a little note with my fancy glitter pen about “taking some time for yourself”, packed all the goodies up, decorated the box with some more glitter, put her address on the box and then sat there. I wasn’t sure what to put for the return address. If I put my downtown Seattle address on there, she might figure out who was I was (thus ruining the entire secret aspect of this little assignment). But if I didn’t put my address on it, what would happen if it got lost in the mail? “Pshaw…that never happens”, I told myself. Instead of putting my address on it (or even my work address, or even my in-laws address) I put the address for the post office from where I was mailing it as the return address.
On my way home from work, I excitedly dropped the package at the post office and was on my merry way. I hoped that my Secret Sister would like reading about Nicole Richie’s new baby and seeing the Best Dressed at the Oscars. I hopped she wasn’t offended by smutty celebrities or allergic to chocolate. Mostly I just hoped she liked what I was sending her.
I thought about what I might send her next week. Maybe I’ll make her a pair of earrings. Or a bracelet. Maybe some homemade greeting cards or some iron-ons for her kids. Whatever…I was enjoying this little assignment.
I walked inside the apartment with Babboo and noticed a flashing light on our answering machine. I listened to the new message while I went through the mail. The message was from the woman at church who was in charge of this whole Secret Sister project. Apparently she had given me the wrong house number for my Secret Sister. “Oh well”, she said, “it will just come back to you and you can resend it to her correct address.”
And then my heart broke, just a little.
I guess I took this whole “secret” thing a little too far. I guess I should have put my return address on the package.
So today, I’ll be resending another package to my Secret Sister. But this time I’m throwing in the “People” magazine that’s been sitting on my kitchen table for a few weeks. I promise to buy her another candy bar, and I’ll still use my glitter pen to write her note, and this time I’ll put my return address on the outside. I’ll try to not be disappointed about the fact that this kind of stuff always happens to me. Instead, I’ll tell myself that this week I had two Secret Sister.
And I hope that whoever finds the first package out there enjoys the latest “People” magazine and Cadbury chocolates.
So tell me, what are some other fun ways that I could show service to my Secret Sister?
(Again, this really isn’t about spending money at all. So let’s see if we can come up with somethings that won’t cost a cent. I promise to keep you guys updated on what I do each week.)
I rock · Churchy Stuff

Keri
said,
March 7, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Do you have any good books that you’ve read, and enjoyed & wont need anymore. You could send w/a note letting her know that its one of your favorites & you hope she enjoys it too.
This costs a little, but the other thing I thought of was a few packages of seeds - springtime around the corner and maybe she could plant some flowers or veggies?
What a neat idea.
Kim
said,
March 7, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Take heart, it was only the wrong house number. Perhaps the neighbor who receives it will give it to her, and then she’ll get two. In the future, could you just put your return address but not your name? Or you could use my address in Illinois, that would really blow her mind!
We’ve done Secret Santa at work and I’ve given lottery tickets, small candles, homemade candy or cookies, and a $10 gift card for a restaurant the office for lunch. I know you don’t want to spend money, but I’m not terribly crafty or creative, other than baking, so I’m probably no help.
Audrey
said,
March 7, 2008 at 6:10 pm
I love both of Keri’s ideas and was actually going to make similar suggestions. One of my favorite Secret Blogger Santa gifts I received was a list of books Erin thought I would love with little explanations as to why shy loved them and why I might love them too. It was clear she had put a lot of thought and care into writing up the list, and I have referred to it often when looking for something new to read.
Another thing you could do is share some of your favorite recipes with her. Send them to her on a stack of adorable recipe cards, maybe?
Art Nerd
said,
March 7, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I love this idea. And it would be so much more fun, not being at Christmas time. I feel like I’d really be able to think about thoughtful gifts by concentrating on just one person.
I love the iron-ons. LOVE. Like if I were having a baby soon, I’d love to get those
Also, how about some handmade cards? You’re much more crafty than I . Food is always good, everyone likes goodies and they don’t have to be expensive. Seeds- that’s a great idea, Keri! And jewelry sounds really appropriate, too. Everyone loves handmade jewelry.
heidikins
said,
March 7, 2008 at 6:21 pm
I love the book idea; LOVE it.
I also think that mixing up the dry stuff to a batch of cookies/brownies/whatever and then giving her the recipe to finish the rest is a good idea.
And I am always a fan of a good, inspiring quote. My sis-in-law prints them up on cute paper, mats them with cuter paper and puts them in a small frame. I have a couple in my house and it always makes me smile to see them.
xox
Operation Pink Herring
said,
March 7, 2008 at 6:22 pm
We had secret locker buddies for sports teams in high school, and we were supposed to decorate our buddy’s locker and/or bring them little gifts on the days before races. I was so excited the first time I got to do it, and I spent a lot of time making an AWESOME locker sign (it featured a penguin) and I sneaked in before school to put it up so my identity would remain a secret. Later in the morning, I heard overheard my buddy saying, disappointed, that she hadn’t gotten anything from her buddy and that they must have forgotten. I jumped in and said “what are you talking about, I made you an awesome sign! With a penguin! It’s right… there!”
And then I realized I’d put it on the wrong locker because I’m directionally challenged.
Emily
said,
March 7, 2008 at 7:16 pm
I was thinking something similar to heidikins suggestion…..you could make a dry rub or a spiced drink mix and put it in a cute jar.
Jezer
said,
March 7, 2008 at 8:15 pm
How about a canvas tote or apron or box (you can get these at craft stores for around $5 each) with one of your cool iron-ons? Maybe a set of 4 or 5 handmade greeting cards if you have the time. Or, a flower pot and some seed packets?
LOVE the printed and framed quote idea. It’s cute to print small “fortunes” in the size and shape of a fortune cookie fortune and mount and frame it in small pretty frame.
Secret Pals are fun.
Angela
said,
March 7, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Oh no, that is so sad!!! What about sending some of your favorite family recipes with a few of the basic ingredients?
Sadie
said,
March 7, 2008 at 8:54 pm
You should put the address of the lady that’s in charge of Secret Sisters. That way it’ll get returned to HER.
Also, if it’s the right street, but the wrong number, sometimes a mail carrier who’s paying attention will deliver it to the right person.
You could continue on the “time for yourself” thing and go with bath salts or yummy lotions. Or a coupon for free babysitting after the “secret” is over. Or make her an Iron-On SHIRT!!!
SJ
said,
March 8, 2008 at 12:29 am
Lottery tickets, fun socks, maybe some notecards, candles, more chocolate, your favorite book, a fun photo frame / album?
The key like you said is to make it fun and affordable! I really hope she gets her first package okay - my luck is usually the exact same way!
Have a great weekend.
Amanda
said,
March 8, 2008 at 12:48 am
Oh what a lovely idea - sorry your package went AWOL… but someone out there in the wider community was served by you and they weren’t even expecting it - I’d say that was a great lesson in serving others!!
Um as for ideas… um… can you take some photos of some really cool things in the world… take the time for yourself to stop and watch what is happening in the park (some ducks swimming by or the shadows cast by a tree) and make a little scrapbook with them in with some choice quotations about life, beauty, passing of time, reflection, prayer etc… I always like making up little books for people and choosing what to put in it and if the book is handmade too it’s even better (even pieces of paper that have been punched with holes and held together with ribbon is very pretty!) This way you’re helping yourself to make time to reflect on the great stuff in life and making a cool reminder for your secret sister to keep and dib into whenever she needs a chill out moment…
Lindsay
said,
March 8, 2008 at 1:10 am
Oh, what a fun idea!!
I’m still busy reading everyone else’s suggestions, but I just wanted to mention that there is indeed a decent chance she will still end up with the package you sent. Assuming she’s lived there for a while and the house number you wrote was still on the same mail route (and that the mailman is halfway decent), she’ll probably get it. I’ve ended up receiving all sorts of things that have been addressed to me incorrectly, and I live in big anonymous LA, where no one knows their neighbors, and I’ve never met my mailman. So there’s hope for your package!
…though I guess now that I think about it, since you sent a new one, you’d probably just as well have it NOT get there, huh? hmm. Ah well, I’ve never met anyone who would complain about getting TWO candy bars in the mail!
Anth
said,
March 8, 2008 at 5:42 am
Sorry I suck at the Secret Sister on a budget thing. Everything I think of costs money.
Brittany
said,
March 8, 2008 at 4:26 pm
I’m such a paranoid mailer. The same thing would have happened to me!
Send her your URL with a note that says, “Here’s a real treat for you!”
Ha ha ha! That’s funny (and wouldn’t that be such a conceited thing to do?)
The Bug
said,
March 9, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I really like Amanda’s idea of the photo book and the reflecting! It’s good for your soul, too! But, the iron-ons are always good, and books you have read are good, too. Do you have freebies that you have gotten but never used? Carly once had a contest that I won and the prize was just a bunch of “swag” from BlogHer and some other freebies she had acquired!
Me
said,
March 9, 2008 at 6:20 pm
What a wonderful way to be serving and the person that gets the package will be blessed.
The Bug
said,
March 10, 2008 at 2:40 am
I was thinking, and anyone else who agrees, please chime in, but we (we being anyone that is interested) should do some sort of Secret Sister thing. I would love to send out secret gifts and receiving is fun, too! Anyone interested?
Durga
said,
March 11, 2008 at 11:59 pm
u r smart. it’s a great present idea. the positive view is: well maybe the person in the wrong number house somehow needed some love….it’s part of the BIG plan. it was meant to be n all that.
in any case, i remember ’secret sisters’ in YW’s camp. was a lot if fun =)
HollowSquirrel
said,
March 16, 2008 at 10:11 pm
You’re so sweet. That sounds like a lot of fun. What did you get, btw? I like the books idea — or how about a mixed CD. You’re great at those. You have and were given lots of great ideas… your secret sister is very lucky!
Adria Sha
said,
March 18, 2008 at 4:23 am
If you can’t spend money and you don’t know her well….I don’t know what to suggest. Maybe some cool funky thing that you learned about online in case she’s not nearly as Internet savvy?
When doing the secret thing I always use the addressee’s address as the return address. Which wouldn’t have helped at all, in this situation, I realize.
In which I do not take advantage of The King being out of town | hola, isabel
said,
March 25, 2008 at 3:49 pm
[…] You know what I’ll be wanting come lunch time today? The little box full of St. Patrick’s Day candy that I got from my Secret Sister last week. After three weeks of doing fun little Secret Sisters gifts, the big reveal took place last Tuesday night. Of course I was busy seeing “Mamma Mia!” with internet buddies and missed the reveal evening at the church. […]
Things That Are Ruining My Life Right Now | hola, isabel
said,
April 16, 2008 at 5:14 pm
[…] I haven’t done my “Secret Sister” assignment for this week yet. I need to work on that tomorrow. You know, if I’m not too busy catching up on “Lost” and doing laundry. […]