I least I only saw the wrapper part of the setFebruary 29th, 2008 @ 7:01 am
I leave my apartment pretty early every morning. And every morning I walk the few blocks to my office. Some mornings I walk past fancy business men in dark suits, or powerful career women with high heels. Other mornings I pass by tourists or taxi drivers standing around smoking waiting for their early morning fare to the airport. Sometimes I pass students on their way to the bus stop. Most mornings I just see a few joggers and maybe a homeless person or two.
This morning, while enjoying my usual walk and listening to Wilco on my iPod, I stopped at a crosswalk. While waiting for it to change, I happened to look down at the ground and I noticed something. I admit that I didn’t instantly register what this something was. After sitting there waiting and looking, I realized what exactly I was looking at.
Dude, this something was a freakin’ condom wrapper.
While it isn’t that odd to see garbage lying around, I do find it odd to see an opened condom wrapper. A condom only means one thing took place. One specific thing that really shouldn’t be taking place in the middle of a downtown metropolis.
(I feel I must note that this particular part of town is not, I repeat, not frequented by ladies of the night.)
In my mind I see a nice couple who met last night for drinks after work. They were enjoying each others company so much that they decided to have dinner together. Again, they were enjoying being together so much that dinner turned into dessert, which turned into after-dinner-coffee, which turned into “Oh my goodness, I can’t keep my hands off you and I must make sweet, sweet love to you right here in the middle of this concrete sidewalk! Let me just open this condom first.”
Oh, so romantic.
So tell me, do you think I’m way off with this scenario? If so, how do you think the condom wrapper ended up on the sidewalk?
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City living
Brittany
said,
February 29, 2008 at 6:47 pm
I’m so glad you’ve opened a condom discussion since I’m not allowed to talk about them on my blog. You see, my MOM reads my blog (I’m so close to banning her IP address it’s not even funny), so condoms and the like are off limits.
But now I can tell you an awful story. When I was in high school, the little boy across the street used to come over and play with my little brother. One day that little boy walked up to me and said, “Look at my pet snake.” I looked down to his hand, and there was a gigantic, yellow, used condom on his palm (still in penis shape). I wanted to die, because not only did I not know where it came from, I was now responsible for getting it away from the kid and disposing of it. Poor little boy had no idea what his pet snake really was. To him (who was like three at the time) it was something cool he found on the ground…. or in a garbage can…. and he was simply using it to play make believe.
Dude! And how long had he been carrying it around???
I am so worried that it was my parents’ condom and that was probably the only time in their fifteen years of marriage that they’d had sex.
Audrey
said,
February 29, 2008 at 7:13 pm
I think your imagined scenario is pretty spot-on. Ewwwww.
When I was a freshman in college, my dorm roommate often had her boyfriend stay the night when she knew I wasn’t going to be there. On one such night I unexpectedly ended up sleeping at the dorm, which probably annoyed them but obviously didn’t, um, hamper their plans any. Thankfully I slept soundly through the night, but the next day when I was making my bed I was VERY disturbed to find a used condom on my comforter. They didn’t put it there intentionally — it seemed to have fallen from my roommate’s top bunk down onto my bed — but don’t you think they might have noticed that it was missing when they went to dispose of it and maybe retrieved it before I had to? Thank god for industrial-sized dorm washing machines that easily fit an entire comforter.
Keri
said,
February 29, 2008 at 7:13 pm
oh my gosh how did that get there? Was someone engaging in the act in an office building or something? First I thought maybe it fell out of someone’s wallet - but then it would’ve have been open!?!?!
Angela
said,
February 29, 2008 at 7:29 pm
!!! I have seen my fair share of condom wrappers and condoms themselves on my walk to work, but it’s definitely in a more dodgy area of town that where you saw the wrapper! Man, that is seriously klassy.
Carrie
said,
February 29, 2008 at 7:44 pm
HAHA! When I was a junior in college I shared a 4-bedroom apartment with 3 other girls (and yes, I was married at the time! But that’s a blog for another day. Long story short I spent 4 days a week at school and 3 days a week at home.). One weekend I went home and when I came back I found someone’s birth control pills lying on the floor of my bedroom! And a few weeks later I came back to find someone’s PANTS lying on the floor of my bedroom. I never found out what happened, and I sure as hell hope nothing happened in my BED! (I washed the sheets anyway just in case). And I also locked my door every time I left for the weekend after that.
super des
said,
February 29, 2008 at 7:48 pm
I always wonder about the back story when I find a random condom wrapper. But I agree, at least it was *just* the wrapper.
anonymous
said,
February 29, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I have to walk my trash out to the end of a parking lot to throw it away. If the trash bag(s) are not completely knotted closed, they wind will usually pick one offensive/embarrassing item to steal and fling around for the world to see. Now I always check the bags before going outside, having lost condom wrappers in this way before.
Viviane
said,
February 29, 2008 at 8:22 pm
My very boring scenario goes like this: Couple has hot sex at some place (possibly inside), he (or she) sticks condom wrapper into jeans after the deed, and just when they are at that square, they either drop it by accident (it falls out of their pocket), or they just happen to realize it’s still in there, and don’t mind littering.
Corey Moser
said,
February 29, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Okay, okay. I know what happened. A guy named Fred….yes, Fred, went into a 7-Eleven. He purchased a coffee, but forgot to put a lid on his beverage. As he was standing on the corner waiting for the bus, he realized the bus ride may be a little bumpy and he may spill his coffee all over the bus. He realizes he has a condom in his wallet and realizes this may be the solution to his problem. He opens the condom package, pulls out the condom and slips it over the top of his cup. Voila! Problem solved. Here comes the bus! What? No garbage around? Oh well, I’ll just throw this wrapper on the ground.
The End
Laurel
said,
February 29, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Come to New York, where condoms abound!
I wonder where they come from all the time. Surely it’s not people getting friendly on the street, right? Do people throw them out the window of their bedroom? That explains their presence in residential areas, but what about business districts? It’s truly a mystery.
Chas
said,
February 29, 2008 at 8:56 pm
I am loving Lost so much this season. Last night’s episode was informative, but I guess I was a little disappointed not to find out anything new on the island.
I am watching Big Brother, but I’m not into it as much as usual.
Meg
said,
February 29, 2008 at 9:51 pm
While the middle of the sidewalk is definitely odd, I have another odd location for condom wrappers. The previous elementary school where I taught had about six trailers or “mobile classrooms” out back . The teachers who worked in the trailers would often find used condom wrappers and previous contents, which were also now used, under the steps leading up to their trailers. Now there is a romantic spot!
Stefanie
said,
February 29, 2008 at 9:58 pm
I was going to say pretty much what Viviane said: the act didn’t necessarily take place on the street; maybe the user just stuck the wrapper in his pocket and it fell out when he reached for his lip balm or wallet. Your version is certainly a more interesting scenario, though.
Along the lines of the first comment, I once babysat for a kid, and she had an empty tampon applicator in her room and was playing with it with her Barbie dolls. Ew. I figured her mom would find it eventually; I wasn’t going to explain to the kid why she should throw it away.
Nic
said,
March 1, 2008 at 12:45 am
I would also vote for it not having been an act in the street. It might have gotten stuck on a clothing item or such when it was tossed to the side in ecstasy — at home.
May
said,
March 1, 2008 at 2:35 am
I was WAY too old when I figured out what those weird ring things were in the gutter - Oh, just an old condom that has decomposed, leaving just a nice “O” shaped ring. I swear, I am so clueless sometimes…
HollowSquirrel
said,
March 1, 2008 at 3:49 am
It could have just flown out of someone’s trash bag…innocent enough. But it’s interesting to see where YOUR mind went, young lady.
meritt
said,
March 1, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Dude… they were 17 and threw it out of the car as they passed before Mom and Dad found the evidence in the family Subaru the next day.
Heidi
said,
March 2, 2008 at 12:33 am
My guess would be that it was thrown out of a car window on someone’s way home. Wouldn’t do for wifey to find an empty wrapper in the car.
SJ
said,
March 2, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Could have very well been a business man spending some quality time with his mistress on his ‘business trip’ just getting rid of the evidence before he caught a cab that took him to the airport so he could go home?
Operation Pink Herring
said,
March 3, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Unfortunately, I see both wrappers and their (used) contents on the street with frightening frequency. I blame it on the hookers. Your story is much more pleasant!
Sadie
said,
March 3, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Let’s see– maybe, they actually got friendly somewhere else (like the restroom of a bar), and the wrapper stuck to the bottom of his shoe, and he carried it with him until that point on the sidewalk. I would say from home, but that’s less likely, because I feel like you’d notice that on your shoe at home.
OR, maybe they were in a car and threw the wrapper at the window? While doin’ it in a moving vehicle?
I dunno. I just REALLY don’t want to think that they were getting busy RIGHT THERE.
Kim
said,
March 3, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I like your version, but I’m guessing it was a probably random trash. And I have to agree it was nice to only see the wrapper part because….ew.
Christar
said,
March 3, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Oh man, that’s pretty gross! It really makes you wonder how in the world it got there, and if it got there from being used there…. GROSS.
My story isn’t THAT gross. About 10 years ago, my cousin Sunny was at home watching her younger brother who was probably 6 or 7 at the time. She was upstairs doing her hair, when suddenly CJ ran upstairs and said, “Sunny look what I found! A whole bunch of awesome balloons!” She looked over and saw him with a half blown up condom in his mouth! Thank GOODNESS it was NOT used.
Heather B.
said,
March 4, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Even if I couldn’t keep my hands off of someone I don’t imagine myself being so desperate that I’d find a piece of concrete the perfect place to…do that…you know…that thing.
metalia
said,
March 4, 2008 at 5:43 pm
You know what’s worse? Seeing an actual, uh, USED-looking condom on the subway tracks. I couldn’t stop thinking about how it got there, and why.
metalia
said,
March 4, 2008 at 5:48 pm
You know what’s worse? Seeing an actual…um, USED-looking condom on the subway tracks. I couldn’t stop thinking about how it got there, and why.
Lisa B
said,
March 5, 2008 at 4:05 am
Aren’t you EXTREMELY thankful that all you saw WAS the condom wrapper? heehee.
Wow. On the concrete. And I thought a sandy beach was horribly uncomfortable.
K
said,
March 5, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Yesterday while jogging on the national mall in DC I saw an open condom just lying there out in the middle… I suppose it could have been used… I made sure to step around it non the less. Gross!!
I watch Lost and have been enjoying this season. The Desmond episode last week was awesome! Does anyone else have a love for Faraday liike I do?
gorillabuns
said,
March 5, 2008 at 8:44 pm
I think they were getting primed and ready until they hit their destination.
Kiraa
said,
March 5, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Duuude, you haven’t blogged in forever. You okay?