Three more liesFebruary 7th, 2008 @ 7:01 am
I’ve got a few more lies to fess up to before this week is over. One I’m happy to admit was a lie, although many of you were hoping it was the truth, is that I can not, in fact, pee standing up. Carrisa was nice enough to point out that technically I can pee standing up. We all can. But dude, it’s messy and it not my preferred method. So yeah, that one is a lie and I’m ashamed at all of you who thought that was one truth!
In college I was sitting in large classrooms for the first time in the history of my eduction. While I liked the atmosphere, I didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t see what the crap the teacher was writing on the freakin’ board. I got my first pair of glasses during my first semester of college. I’ve worn them ever since. But to be fair, I don’t usually wear them indoors, as I can see close up. It’s when I get outside that all hell breaks loose and I’m blind.
Yep, the glasses….they are real.
That being said, do people actually wear glasses for fun? I mean, I remember people in elementary school wearing fake glasses (and even making fake braces out of paper clips to put on their teeth), but do adults really wear fake glasses in am attempt to make themselves look smarter?
Let’s take a break from this for a second so I can show you a funny picture.
Let me set this up first. Okay, so I work in the construction business. I don’t do construction…but you know, I’m around it. I have one task that involves looking at photos of buildings that may or may not need construction work done and assess it what work may or may not need to be done. You know, based on a photo.
This picture of a restroom in a building was sent to me today to assess:
First of all, I’m not sure what the crap is going on here. Why are these chairs in the bathroom? Do they hold their company meetings here? Does the boss require an audience when he uses the urinal?
Seriously, this is just wrong.
In case you’re wondering, my assessment is that a bench needs to be installed on the back wall. It would look much nicer then a couple of random chairs. And could fit more people for their weekly meetings.
Alright, back to our scheduled post.
While I’ve visited Germany many times and feel a certain connection to the country, none of my grandparents ever had to flee Nazi Germany. This is a good thing as I assume that fleeing a war torn country would be a nightmare.
That being said, there is a sliver of truth to the statement. (But only a sliver, so it doesn’t count as one of my truths.) The King’s grandpa did flee Poland while it was being taken over by Hitler’s army. And yes, he did so on his bicycle and on foot, along with his brother. Papa is a wonderful man who still speaks with a very heavy Polish accent. He came to America and has had a very successful and happy life.
We’re almost all the way through with finding out what my lies and truths are. And because tomorrow is Friday, I’m going to save the best until then. Be sure to come back tomorrow to read the final installment.
(And seriously, why are those chairs positioned just so in that bathroom picture? It’s just creepy.)
Me
Nic
said,
February 7, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Not only do I pee sitting down, I prefer to do so without an audience.
heidikins
said,
February 7, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Maybe if you also added a nice accent wall color and a comfy, cooshy rug - I mean, if you’re gonna hang out in the loo you may as well have something cooshy to put your tootsies on.
Ok, that may come across as considerably more raunchy that it was meant, I’m just talking about a nice coordinating shag rug… goodness, this isn’t getting any better!
Signing off, before further embarassing comments spew out of my fingers.
xox
Audrey
said,
February 7, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Man, I would hate to be the guy who had to sit in the chair holding the toilet paper. I mean, taking meeting notes AND dispensing TP? That’s some serious multi-tasking!
Rhi
said,
February 7, 2008 at 5:17 pm
That photo reminds me of the episode of The Office when Jim moved Dwight’s desk into the men’s room. Perhaps they were doing something like that?
Carrie
said,
February 7, 2008 at 5:28 pm
I’m sitting here cracking UP at that picture! It looks like one of the chairs is positioned to be the toilet paper holder. And I hope that’s a one-person-at-a-time bathroom!
My husband actually grew up in a house built by the Nazi’s! His mom, sister, and grandmother still live in it to this day. Maybe I’ll post about it on my blog.
Keri
said,
February 7, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Seriously, the chairs are skeeving me out. The TP seems like its placed there so that someone must sit there & dispense.
SJ
said,
February 7, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Yo, that bathroom is whack. Love the pseudo divider wall thing that’s too short to cover the toilet, and the chairs. THE CHAIRS. Totally freaky. I surely hope they don’t have weekly meetings in there…
Ew.
Erika
said,
February 7, 2008 at 6:01 pm
In our bathroom at work there are chairs jammed into a couple of the end stalls, I presume for naps. But this does look like a private bathroom so…hm. Maybe it’s for holding your bag or notepad (besides TP)?
I’m waiting for someone to say OMG THAT IS TOTALLY MY BATHROOM!!
Danielle
said,
February 7, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Heyyyyy…I don’t think I said I thought that one was true! I just thought it was extra clever, hee hee…
That bathroom also needs a toilet paper holder. There is so much wrong with that bathroom…it creeps me out. The partition makes me think it is meant for use by more than one person at a time. If that’s true, then the chairs are extra creepy! Good thing they’ve got you on the case to fix it up right!
bananas
said,
February 7, 2008 at 6:10 pm
I am loving this. And that bathroom pic? Weird.
jihan
said,
February 7, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Me. I wear fake glasses.
And I feel smarter.
But my eyes hurt after a few hours of looking through clear plastic, so then I have to take them off and look like my normal self. A less smart version. sob.
I can’t wait for the day when I can get them for real.
Rachel
said,
February 7, 2008 at 6:53 pm
THey might wanna think about installing a sink and, you know, a door or something.
Kim
said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:06 pm
I’m bummed that I was wrong about the glasses. And I think it’s too funny that you said “what the crap” twice in your post, as that is Maddy’s new preferred form of swearing.
The bathroom - wrong on so many levels.
janet
said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:28 pm
okay I am actually laughing out loud at this post (not just LOLing figuratively, real laughing, and my coworker must think I’m nuts). That bathroom pic is just too weird. I dunno, just imagining a job where that is the kind of weird stuff people send you is funny to me. And also memories of making retainers for myself out of paperclips and SCOTCH TAPE, which tastes SO bad and yet I made them all the time? Why?!?1 Why, young self, why?!
Christar
said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:42 pm
That has to be the weirdest bathroom I’ve ever seen. The chairs positioned in front of the toilet just freak me out. It’s probably because when I was little, I was in this day care that was just a giant room with tiny toilets lined across the wall… no stalls, no privacy. Well, that’s not entirely true. There were two stalled bathrooms, and those were the only ones I’d go in, even if I had to wait in a long line. I wasn’t pottying in front of other people I didn’t know!
Lisa B
said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:01 pm
That bathroom with the chairs? FREAKY. ANd not in a fun way.
Am bummed I missed your game. (For the record tho, I was reading you yesterday, but it was your most recently piece at Seattle Mom Blogs.)
Anth
said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:24 pm
My previous place of employment can clear up two potential mysteries. One, the chairs might be for pumping. One of my coworkers had to pump on a chair next to the toilet because her office didn’t have a door. That place was so ghetto. AND one of the receptionists wore fake glasses to make herself look smarter. But it didn’t work, because she wore an XOXO pair, with a little rhinestone HEART in the corner of one lens. Yeah.
Loralee
said,
February 7, 2008 at 9:08 pm
I swear to you that we have the exact same glasses. (I hate wearing glasses, but these make it tolerable.)
Laurel
said,
February 7, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I can understand having one chair in the bathroom, in case someone needs a place to put their handbag or a change of clothes or a boom box or something, but two??
Unless of course you had a handbag AND a boom box.
Lindsey
said,
February 8, 2008 at 2:08 am
I hold company meeting while I am doing a number 2. It’s awesome! Ok…also, I am 1/2 Polish!
Chas
said,
February 8, 2008 at 3:24 am
Maybe one chair is for your purse…and the other for your kid?
Operation Pink Herring
said,
February 8, 2008 at 3:33 am
Dude, I hope you also recommended that they build the rest of the stall surrounding that toilet.
Can I take a picture of the bathroom stall in my gym and send it to you for an assessment? The gap between the wall and the door is about 2 inches, and it’s not cool!
Frema
said,
February 8, 2008 at 5:29 am
Dude, didn’t Lisa Loeb wear fake glasses? I think she did.
This year I was up for a new pair of glasses, and at first I was so excited, but then when I started trying them on I realized I still have extra weight in my face and now is not the time to commit to a brand-new frame. So I took the boring route and just got new lenses for my Pradas.
On an up note, at least I can say I’m sporting PRADA glasses for at least another year.
Jeannette
said,
February 8, 2008 at 9:26 am
One chair is clearly a toilet paper dispenser. So that would be the work that needs to be done: install proper toilet paper dispenser.
This to me looks like a toilet for handicapped people; so the second chair would basically be the chair to sit on while putting your pants up before sitting in the wheelchair. (sorry if any rude translation mistakes)
angela
said,
February 10, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Without a chair, where would they place their toilet paper? It’s clearly serving an important purpose.
Because I have been given much | hola, isabel
said,
April 16, 2008 at 6:34 pm
[...] Because I have been given muchFebruary 8th, 2008 @ 5:01 am We now know that I can’t pee standing up, that my glasses are real and that I didn’t pay for my own engagement ring. We also know that I did, in fact, name Babboo after a movie character I liked. [...]