The Tale of B00bjob BettyJanuary 18th, 2008 @ 7:01 am
In my younger days I worked at a convenient store. We had matching uniforms for the different days of the week. We served 32 oz. Pepsi’s through a drive-up window. We got paid crap.
I know this sounds very glamorous and exciting.
It wasn’t.
While I met a lot of good friends (and even my ex-husband) while working there, I was also forced to work with some old ladies that drove me batty. Seriously, there is nothing worse then being stuck in a corner, making sodas all day with a mom that only got out of the house two times a week to go and work at the local convenient store.
(Okay, having your toenails pulled out might be worse. But not much worse. Trust me.)
(Just to clarify, this is not a picture of the woman in this story.)
There was this one specific lady that worked there that drove me especially batty. We worked together on Wednesday mornings. We called her B00bjob Betty. (You see, Betty had recently had a b00bjob. Oh yes, I’ve always been clever with the coming up of nicknames.) B00bjob Betty was on her second marriage and things were hott between the two of them.
You might wonder how I knew things were so hott. It’s simple.
She told us.
She told us when Mr. B00bjob bought her a battery powered play-thing for their anniversary. She made it a point to buy her replacement batteries from our store. She told us about their weekends away from The Kids. She bragged about the flowers he bought her.
Hearing about Betty’s love life got old. And it got old fast. It wasn’t just because I was stuck in the middle of my own loveless marriage. I truly felt like what went on between Betty and her man was private and sacred. And definitely not to be shared with young girls her daughter’s age.
One a Wednesday, Valentines Day to be exact, I found myself working alone in the morning with B00bjob Betty. I always hated working there on Valentines Day. I just hated the way the woman who I worked with tried to outdo each other by showing off their Valentine gifts. I knew this day was going to be like that. I knew it the second Betty walked in carrying her dozen roses and the card from her husband.
She couldn’t have just left them at home? She had to bring them into work?
Berry placed her roses on the counter, for all the world to see, and bragged up a storm about the awesome morning (if you know what I mean) she had with her husband before work.
The icing on the cake was when she threw her Valentines Day card in my face and told me how romantic it was and how I just had to read what her husband had written.
I, ever so politely, explained to her that I wasn’t comfortable reading a private message from her husband and handed the card back to her.
“But I’m giving you permission to read it. I want you to read it.”
“I know you’re okay with me reading it, but I’m not comfortable with it. I imagine your husband wrote it just for you. I’m really just not comfortable with reading it.”
“Fine then!”
And then she proceeded to huff and puff for the rest of the day and tell anyone that would listen how much of a prude I was.
Maybe she was right. Maybe I was a prude. If being a prude wrong meant not reading personal love letters, then I didn’t want to be right. (Or something like that. I can’t remember how that saying goes.)
Looking back on this Valentines Day with B00bjob Betty, I find my hardcore stance on not wanting to read Betty’s note to be odd, since I can’t get enough of blog reading (and other personal letters).
But really, it was just too damn early in the morning for me to be reading about her husband’s love for her new b00bies. I would have lost my breakfast.
So tell me, in what way are you considered a prude?
**Dude, my “submit” button on my comments page is lost. It just disappeared. Have no fear, Carrisa is working on it. For now, you just can’t comment. CRAP!**
Back in the Day · Work
Rhi
said,
January 18, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Hee. My coworker and I constantly are trying to out-prude each other. It’s all a competition. I don’t really enjoy hearing about the sexual exploits of others. Unless, it’s Britney Spears, in which case, I’m all ears.
Audrey
said,
January 18, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Ew. I wouldn’t have wanted to read that either. There are some things that you just don’t want to know about, no matter the time of day.
Kim
said,
January 18, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Is it prudish that I don’t mind if my boyfriend sees me in all my nakey splendor, but I won’t tinkle in front of him, shave my underarms, or spit out my toothpaste? Or am I just a freak?
Yes, I used nakey and tinkle. No I am not 5.
Average Jane
said,
January 18, 2008 at 7:40 pm
I once had a co-worker who came into work, pulled up her skirt, pulled aside her panties and showed everyone the tattoo she’d gotten in her crotchal area. I think we were ALL prudes about that!
Carrisa
said,
January 18, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Well I don’t let my husband see me walk around naked. But that’s not because I’m prude. It’s because I’m preserving his eyesight.
I don’t consider myself to be prude at all. I’m probably the opposite of prude. So you can call me H00kerface Carrisa if you want. I do have a pretty mouth.
Angela
said,
January 18, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Wow, I don’t really think I’m a prude, but I definitely wouldn’t want to read some random co-workers love letters!
Loralee
said,
January 18, 2008 at 8:02 pm
While I don’t think that I would just start discussing my toy collection with young girls (I save that for online discussion. Hee.) I’m afraid I fall more over on the line of B00bjob Betty than Prudish Penny.
I talk too much about my personal life. I probably talked too much about my boob job (And probably still do). I was so miserable in marriage number one that I gushed about marriage number two.
Blabbing has always been a flaw of mine.
I do have a definite prudish side, though. After almost 10 years, I still am not comfortable doing the “Bathroom thing” in front of my husband.
And the reader with the tattoo’d croched coworker? GOOD FREAK.
No. I would never.
EEK.
Laura
said,
January 18, 2008 at 8:10 pm
When I refuse to watch or complain about crude, nearly pornographic scenes in movies. The only reason I hate to be called a prude is because of the negative connotation it has. I really should take it as more of a compliment, some indication that I haven’t been completely numbed to all things inappropriate. I think people only call others that because they suddenly feel uncomfortable when what probably should bother them doesn’t.
Jill
said,
January 18, 2008 at 9:23 pm
I just can’t imagine (said sarcastically) who you could be talking about! I know it isn’t me, cause my boobs are still the same average size.
heidikins
said,
January 18, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Eeeww! Have a similar co-worker, but without the B00bies… Jezabel the Office Whore who insists on regaling me with her sexcapades.. sigh, NO one wants to hear that in the morning!
xox
Anth
said,
January 18, 2008 at 9:53 pm
I had a co-worker a while ago who often called me a prude, which I found surprising, since no one who actually knows me thinks I’m a prude. But I think her definition of prude was “Wouldn’t be in a Threesome” which yes, in that case I would qualify as a prude.
Rachel
said,
January 18, 2008 at 10:03 pm
I don’t really consider myself to be prude. I am pretty open. I mean, I don’t talk about my sex life to perfect strangers, but I will talk about it with my friends and what not.
HollowSquirrel
said,
January 18, 2008 at 10:14 pm
No, you were NOT being a prude, in my opinion. You just didn’t want to play into her stupid little show-off game. She sounds like a douche.
HollowSquirrel
said,
January 18, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Also: did she at any time bring in her battery-operated toy to show off?
SJ
said,
January 19, 2008 at 4:48 am
I don’t consider myself prude at all, however I don’t care to hear about other peoples bedroom stories and I don’t share mine with strangers.
If you are a friend however? I might.
Anne
said,
January 21, 2008 at 8:05 pm
I locker talk with a very select group of friends. I do have my own BOObjob Betty who offers up way to too much info.
Danielle
said,
January 21, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Totally 100% agree with Hollow Squirrel. She just said it better than I could.
Christar
said,
January 23, 2008 at 7:21 pm
I think girls and/or women who act like that are SO incredibly dumb. I have been made to feel bad about my relationship time and time again because of the way I get rubbed in my face all the wonderful things that their significant other does for them on these so~called “special occassions”, but I don’t let them bring me down anymore. Because I am just fine and content with what I do get out of my relationship, which is much more than any flowers or candy could ever give.
And I’d definitely like to point out that 98% of every one of “those girls” relationships have failed, and mine stays strong because my relationship isn’t about superficialities. (Is that a word? It is now!)
You definitely weren’t the prude. She was a insecure person who felt better on rubbing in her posessions in others faces to make her feel better.