What would Emily Post think about this?December 20th, 2007 @ 7:01 am
Here’s a question for the interweb.
Should I, or should I not, be offended that a friend that’s been “too busy” to hang out with me for the last four months sent me this e-mail on Monday:
“I was wondering if you wanted to hang out Thursday night and maybe give me a ride to the airport later that evening?”
Dude, I’m totally being used for a ride to the airport. I know it. And still, I’m going to hang out with her. Feed her dinner. Keep my kid up late to take her to the airport. And give her a Christmas present.
But offended, yes, I think I am. Do you think that’s justified?
They're just my friends
steph
said,
December 20, 2007 at 6:04 pm
yes and no. i can honestly say that sometimes i feel like I do that to my friends because my life is so out of control. while it is true that we make time for the things that are important to us, at least she did ask you for a ride to the airport, which means that she does in a weird way want to be your friend. the next time you need a ride to the airport, call her and make sure and tell her how nice it is to see her. lay on the guilt big time.
Mary Jo
said,
December 20, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Yeah you are totally being used. Would she have called you if she didn’t need a ride to the airport?
Anna
said,
December 20, 2007 at 6:25 pm
I have a friend that does this all the time. I finally had to stop saying yes.
Friendships can’t be one-sided. You are definitely justified in feeling offended.
mary
said,
December 20, 2007 at 6:30 pm
You are being used! If this is the first time I would probably say yes but then maybe jokinlgy say I hope we can get together again before your next trip. Just to see if she catches on- that also just might be my sense of humor. You know her and you’ll know what approach would be best for her- if she is really your friend- you should be able to talk about this without her getting pissy.
Lindsey
said,
December 20, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Yes you should feel offended. That is so not cool and she is definitely using you. You should call her on it or next time just say no.
Not the Queen
said,
December 20, 2007 at 6:48 pm
I think you are very gracious to do as she asks. But, yes, I think you are justified to feel offended. I would be.
David McNelis
said,
December 20, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Definitely being used. I think that toward the end of the evening, maybe on your way to the airport you mention to her that you enjoy her company, and are really kind of upset that she is constantly putting you off, but are expected to be available any time she needs it.
Kind of like Mary’s response, except a bit more direct. I agree that you should be able to talk to her about it without her getting pissy. If she does get pissy? Well, that will tell you a lot about the relationship, maybe some things you’d rather not face.
Audrey
said,
December 20, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Totally justified in being offended. That is seriously lame.
Nic
said,
December 20, 2007 at 7:15 pm
I would personally be very offended, especially as it is Christmas Eve. I would apologize that you’ll be busy with last minute preparations and give her the number of a shuttle service.
Nic
said,
December 20, 2007 at 7:16 pm
Wow, I’m freaking dense, it has nothing to do with Christmas Eve at all. I have no idea what the heck I was thinking.
FunnyGal KAT
said,
December 20, 2007 at 7:23 pm
You have every right to be offended! I tend to take it very personally when I try to spend time with friends repeatedly and they don’t respond.
If you want to be mature about it (although I probably wouldn’t be…) you should take everyone else’s advice and see it as a chance to finally hang out with her. But I would give her one more shot to hang out when she doesn’t need a ride, and if she’s again “too busy,” move on.
HollowSquirrel
said,
December 20, 2007 at 7:27 pm
My jaw just hit the keyboard. Yes, that’s rude. Please say you’re busy but you’d love to hang out with her another time. But do NOT take her to the airport. I’m so sorry.
Anth
said,
December 20, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Uh, YES.
cpa mom
said,
December 20, 2007 at 7:55 pm
sweet baby jesus, why oh why are you doing all that for her? you are not a doormat. don’t act like one. HS is totally right. true friends make time.
Keri
said,
December 20, 2007 at 8:12 pm
I would totally be offended. Where’s she’s been the last 4 month. Now she needs a ride & thought “Oh Isabel will be want to drive me to the airport the week before christmas?”
Rachel
said,
December 20, 2007 at 8:30 pm
I was FLOORED when I read that!!! Wow, that girl has definitely got some big ass balls!! You should totally be offended. In fact, if it was me, I would tell her exactly where she could stick her airport ride. But that’s just me, you know.
Janssen
said,
December 20, 2007 at 8:52 pm
Wow, that’s rude. I can hardly ask good friends of mine for a ride to the airport, let alone someone I’ve ignored for months.
Heidi
said,
December 20, 2007 at 9:13 pm
I would be offended, I must admit. And then, because I’m a people pleaser, I’d probably do it anyway.
Maria
said,
December 20, 2007 at 9:57 pm
That is extremely rude and presumptious of your “friend”. I applaud that you are going to give her the ride, but I also hope that you use the time with her as a captive audience to say something extremely witty and semi biting about how “next time we shouldn’t wait so long to do something together that we can both enjoy”, only wittier and slightly more bitter but at the same time in an ultra good mannery way that only sounds sarcastic if you are already feeling guilty. You may need to channel Tim Gunn for the appropriate feeling.
SJ
said,
December 20, 2007 at 9:57 pm
I would so be offended, especially since she has blown you off for the last couple of months.
I would take her up on the offer to hang out, but would decline the personal shuttle service of Hola Isabel. I mean really?
Very rude of her in my opinion.
Meg
said,
December 20, 2007 at 11:26 pm
You have a right to be offended!
Operation Pink Herring
said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:17 am
Absolutely. You’re a good person for still doing it, but that’s really annoying and I’d be pissed too.
Jezer
said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:48 am
Absolutely, you are justified. And you’re being much bigger than I would be about it. Seattle has cabs, right?
Loralee
said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:48 am
She isn’t very subtle, is she?
It would be a tricky enough situation to sort out without the airport. Four months of ignoring is a long time.
Bleck. Situations like that make my stomach twist.
Nora Bee
said,
December 21, 2007 at 7:19 am
Dude, you are totally being used for a ride to the airport.
Just be thankful you are not married to this person, or in love with them. I think these charismatic types who can do things like this but still get what they want no matter how they behave are usually genuinely fun to be around and make for good eye-rolling stories. But to be close to someone like this? Hoo boy. (Maybe I’m projecting)
Dirka
said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:52 pm
That’s so annoying! But you’re sweet to take them to the airport.
Eve
said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:03 pm
Isabel! That is so wrong. Don’t do it!
What am I saying? I’d probably do it to. It’s hard to say no to “friends”
michelle de seattle
said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:06 pm
I would give her a ride to one of the hotels that has the airport shuttle. It goes from the Westin, to the Warwick, to SeaTac Airport 29 minutes later, and it only costs $10.50.
Here’s the website:
http://www.graylineseattle.com/airportexpress1.cfm
Remember, it’s never too late to teach someone a valuable life skill.
I would also suggest buying her something snarky from http://www.despair.com
Operation Pink Herring
said,
December 21, 2007 at 7:18 pm
I totally took that shuttle last summer, and it was lovely… and CHEAP!
Christar
said,
December 21, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Totally justifyable. I hate when I know I’m being taken advantage of. You have every right to be P.O.ed.
Erin
said,
December 21, 2007 at 11:42 pm
MAYBE if she had actually CALLED. But an email? I’m sorry. My mother told me that it’s dangerous to meet up with people off the internet