Another reason I’m glad I’m not still in high schoolDecember 10th, 2007 @ 7:01 am
You may recall that we had lunch at my old high school last month. While we were all sitting there enjoying our Subway (what, did you think I’d actually eat school lunch on purpose?) I looked our my dad’s classroom window to see a student sitting on the steps, eating his lunch alone. This particular student was a little heavy, ate with his head hanging low, and appeared to be trying to vanish into the scenery.
My heart ached for him, and all others like him.
I pointed him out to the rest of us sitting together in my dad’s classroom, “do you see that kid outside eating his lunch alone? I feel like I should go and flash him my b*obies, just to brighten his day.”
The King scoffed at me. My mom rolled her eyes. My sister said she’d join me.
I wasn’t really going to flash this kid, but I did want to do something to cheer him up. Maybe go outside and just tell him to hang in until graduation, when he’d be able to get the rock out of that small town and leave the mean kids behind.
“There are always kids like that, eating lunch alone”, my dad said, “you just never noticed them when you were in high school.”
“I felt like I was a nice kid in high school. I meant to be nice.”
My dad went on to say, “but those kids try to not get noticed. They don’t want you to see them.”
My dad reminded us that, as a high school teacher, he sees things a little differently then the students do. He said that by the first week of school he can tell who is going to be the kids eating lunch alone outside. He says he tries to be extra respectful of them and try to pull them out of their shells. He teaches art, so it’s a little easier to do in his class then in say, an English class. He assigns the students into groups and give thought to who should be in each group.
I haven’t been able to get the picture of this lone kid, eating lunch out in the cold, out of my mind. I keep thinking about what his life must be like. Is he happy? Is he smart enough to know that high school is only temporary? Does he have friends who just weren’t eating lunch with him that day? What’s his family like?
Does he have people that love him just because?
I hope so.
Because really, it’s good to be loved.
So tell me, do you think I should have just flashed the poor kid? Or would that have been in bad taste all around?
—————————
If you haven’t heard, last week’s rain in Washington state caused major flooding. Major flooding!! While Seattle is just fine, no everyone was so lucky.
DaringYoungMom spent this last weekend helping dig people’s homes out of the water and mud. She wrote a very moving and informative post about it which I demand you read. And then send her money, socks and shovels to help. They can sure use it.
Back in the Day · They're just my family
Erika
said,
December 10, 2007 at 7:26 pm
I would have wanted to tell him that high school doesn’t last forever (flashing my boobies wouldn’t have cheered him up much, I’m afraid). But I always feel like it comes across as condescending, even though it isn’t meant that way. Like his problems aren’t important.
My heart aches for those kids. I don’t want Sherman to be one of them, and I don’t want him to be one that excludes. Sigh.
Fraulein N
said,
December 10, 2007 at 7:56 pm
I feel so bad for that kid. I WAS that kid.
Liza
said,
December 10, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Like Erika, I think flashing my boobies probably would NOT have helped.
I think when you’re “out of context” it’s hard to offer much encouragement that doesn’t seem weird. Which is not to say you shouldn’t look for opportunities, but it’s easier for someone like your dad. Or for you to make a difference to kids you see more regularly.
Anth
said,
December 10, 2007 at 8:00 pm
You could have given him a little something, like bend over really low in front of him. I mean, you want to keep it PG-13. High school can be R-rated enough. Ha ha
Jihan
said,
December 10, 2007 at 8:40 pm
I have shivers!
I think I was that kid. The Loner—preferring to be on my own.
I was outgoing and active in school: French Club, Golf Team, Debate, Sr. Class President, on Prom Court… and had friends who invited me to do things- even to eat lunch with them, but I always felt like an outsider. I didn’t feel like I belonged. I’m sure no one ever thought of me as a loner– my mom would complain about how many phone messages she would have to take for me. I think I grew out of my “loner funk” in college. And now, I just do my own thing and it doesn’t matter what “group” I belong to. I am my own group, I guess!
Keri
said,
December 10, 2007 at 8:52 pm
This makes me sad. High school is such a difficult time in everyone’s life. I hope the kid eating lunch maybe just wanted to be by himself that day… And nothing more
Christar
said,
December 10, 2007 at 9:01 pm
I never noticed those kids either until my brother got to High School. Now whenever I pick him up or drop him off, I feel so bad for the poor kids that are always by themselves. It makes me even more sad, because my brother is one of them. He tells me how he eats lunch alone under a tree, and doesn’t have much friends. It makes me wish I could go back to High School for him.
Michel
said,
December 10, 2007 at 9:22 pm
It seems a little sad. Kids like this should have people they can hang with. This lack of socialization and the cruelty of children leads to growing bad adults…and you can see them in the news everyday. Flashin him would probably have made his day, but not much good if he didn’t have his buddys to share it with.
Loralee
said,
December 10, 2007 at 9:42 pm
There are few things in life boobies can’t fix. (It’s a little sad how into them I am as a perfectly straight person.)
I was the extroverted version of this kid. I was hugely fat in high school (Like 280. Seriously. Dropping 130 lbs improves your social life. Sad, no?)
Even though I was in drama, choir, ect. I had very few friends. Life was sad and lonely. It wasn’t until college that I made lots and lots of friends. I am SO hoping that is the case for this kid.
Eve
said,
December 10, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Awww, HIghschool. Thank goodness we survived. Hopefully lonely kid will as well. There is so much more to life than that troubled 3 year period.
Heidi
said,
December 11, 2007 at 12:50 am
That poor kid. I’m sad for him but also scared of him, same as I was in high school…there are kids who accept it when people reach out to them, and there are kids who have such a horrible image of themselves and of others that they view anyone trying to be their friend as condescension. These are the kids that grow up and shoot their classmates.
That said, I don’t think it’s right to continue to ignore people just for fear of being made a “target.” I’d have still talked to him (had I been in high school myself). But Erika (PPer) was right–it would’ve been a little weird for you to approach him. Especially with your shirt off.
Laurel
said,
December 11, 2007 at 1:40 am
I think that many (but, sadly not all) of those kids find good friends at college or afterward. I have hope for lunching alone kid!
And, bad taste or not, a little flashing brightens any (straight) man’s day.
Ida
said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:46 am
Thanks for visiting my site.
I went to a super small school so it was easy to pick these kids out. I would like to think I reached out to them. Maybe sometimes I did. Not enough I’m sure.
angela
said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:34 am
This makes me sad. Thank goodness those awkward high school days are finally over.
Durga
said,
December 11, 2007 at 11:41 am
I remember high school and trying to fit in. Gosh being a teenager was weird.
Fairly Odd Mother
said,
December 11, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Oh, so sad. Yeah, I’m glad I’m out of high school.
Nic
said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Hon, he can’t handle your boobies. He’d probably pass out because WHAT TO DO?!
But if he knew you were thinking about doing it? Well, that might just make his life.
Rachel
said,
December 11, 2007 at 6:28 pm
Sad as it is, I never noticed those kids in high school either. I wasn’t mean to them or anything like that, I just never noticed.
You totally should have flashed him.
May
said,
December 11, 2007 at 11:02 pm
Most gay dudes I know tend to like boobs, so whatever his persuasion, I’m sure he would have enjoyed it. Boobs are so funny, what’s not to like? (I know my 3 year old likes them… slightly disturbing …)
Know what’s even worse that High School? Jr. High. Everyone should just be home-schooled from ages 12 - 14. It would save a lot of therapy down the road.
Anne
said,
December 13, 2007 at 5:50 pm
It breaks my heart to see these kids too — or any lonely person, for that matter. I feel weepy whenever I hear the song Eleanor Rigby because she died alone with her name. Whenever I’m at a restaurant and there is a lone person looking sort of sad, I get that same feeling.