Does anyone actually have sex in a bathroom? I mean, really.August 16th, 2007 @ 7:01 am
My family and I moved to Corvaillis, Oregon when I was a kid. My dad had hurt his back working at a printing press and therefore needed to go back to school to find a different career.
We moved into the house that will forever be known as The House on 13th Street. I guess because we lived on 13th Street. My family is muy clever like that. We all look back at this house with fond memories. It was, by far, the nicest house we ever lived in. It was newly built and was big enough to fit all of us. I even had my own bedroom.
The thing I have always remembered and loved most about The House on 13th Street is the stairs. It was the 70’s and the stairs represented that era. They were covered in dark brown shag and went from the upstairs into the dining room. Oh and the best part; they were floating stairs.
My older brother and I used to go under the stairs and hang from them. As I recall, my mom even let us. Come on, it was the 70’s. A less complicated time. A time when it was okay to let you kids ride their bikes on the freeway and hang from the rafters.
While this isn’t an actual picture of our stairs, it’s one I found online and it’s perfect. Nothing says the 70’s like fake plants and a puffy leather couch.
Bow-chica-bow-wow.
When The King started drawing up the plans for our new house, he asked me what things I wanted in the house. That was easy. There were only two things I knew were must-haves.
- A window above the kitchen sink
- Floating stairs
Of course these weren’t the only things I wanted. I wanted a shower and a flushing toilet. Maybe even 4 of them. As well as plenty of closet space and a laundry room. But those are considered goes-without-saying items in my book.
The window above the kitchen sink was easy. The King had no problem putting that into the house design. Granted the view of the neighbor’s driveway isn’t ideal, it’s better then nothing, which is what I have now.
He had a harder time with the design for the floating stairs. During the design phase he would keep me updated on the floating stair research. I would just nod and thank him for his efforts. All the while fully expecting to have floating stairs upon the completion of the new house.
I remember him telling me he had figured out how to do them and where to find the needed equipment to fasten the risers to the walls. I remember when he told me they had been delivered and then the actual installation of the brackets began. Which, I think, posed their own problems.
Eventually it has all worked out.
I never doubted him.
(Okay, maybe a little. But still, I knew he’d come through.)
We went over to the new house on Sunday after church. Drywall had begun that week and I was itching to see the progress. I was extra excited to see the installed floating stair brackets.
I just realized I’m boring myself with this post. Let’s take this up a notch.
Last night The King asked me what was the first thing I wanted to do in the new house once we moved in. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, so I responded by (jokingly) saying; “have sex in every room.”
“But wait, shouldn’t we have sex in every room of our apartment first?”
“It’s a one bedroom apartment, so I’m pretty sure we’ve accomplished that by now.”
“We haven’t done it in the kitchen.”
“And we’re not going to either. I’ve seen the floor in there and it’s gross.”
“Did we do it in every room in the last house?”
And then we both paused and tried to remember if we had, in fact, done it in every room of our last house.
We came to the conclusion that we’d done it in all the bedrooms, but not the office or the bathrooms. Does that count?
So tell me, does anyone else have lofty goals like this?
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Don’t forget to check out my latest New Thing, in which I will impress you with my awesome photoshop skillz. Word.
The new house · The King · The first house · Apartment living · Back in the day
Carrisa
said,
August 16, 2007 at 6:38 pm
We’ve had our house just over 5 years. We’ve done it in both bedrooms and one of the living rooms and in the master shower. That’s it. However if I were a leaner gal and not a whole foot shorter than Thom, we probably would have figured out ways to do it in other rooms.
Frema
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:04 pm
In our last apartment, we did it everywhere but the kitchen, which wasn’t hard because there were like, four rooms.
In our new place, we’re lucky we’ve managed to do it in our own bedroom. I do want to break in our new couch, though. Seeing as I’m almost out of the second trimester, I’m not attempting anything in the shower. And the baby’s room? That feels wrong.
Lizarita
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:16 pm
“We haven’t done it in the kitchen.”
“And we’re not going to either. I’ve seen the floor in there and it’s gross.”
The counters are a perfectly acceptable place to do it in the kitchen. It just takes some imagination.
And some disinfectant.
kaleigh
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:17 pm
Not in the kids’ rooms. That’s just icky. But everywhere else, sure!
Jelli
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:21 pm
My husband and I just moved in to our new house 2 weeks ago- that was his goal too.. but after awhile, it’s like- reality? We have no curtains- and construction workers are everywhere!
Angela
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Is it weird that I sort of feel conflicted about doing it in the guest room? I mean… it’s perfectly equipped with a lovely bed and it’s not like anyone would ever know, but *I* would know. And I mean… my parents sleep on that bed when they visit! I don’t know, I’m still mulling this over…
But we’re steadily working through the other rooms with great success!
Operation Pink Herring
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:29 pm
I know someone who has that goal *ahem*. I have to raise my hand for the bathroom. The big one. It was clean, I swear.
Jessie
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Can I just tell you (and I know I have issues) but floating stairs freak me the hell out. I have a hard time walking up them, not so much down though. My husband laughs at me every time we encounter floating stairs because I pause and then acsend very slowly holding on to the railing for dear life. And if you think that’s weird, you should watch me use an escalator.
Anyway, the only time we’ve ever done it in a bathroom in our house has been in the shower. But now that I think about it, we’ve only done it in less than half the rooms in our current apartment. Looks like we have some work to do.
Abbie
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Isabel…I feel like I’m getting over, I should HAVE to pay for your sort of entertainment…..you never disappoint.
Lindsey
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:49 pm
I lost my virginity in a bathroom. In my boyfriend-at-the-time’s house, not some shady bar or something.
I still have a few rooms left in my house to get to, but I think I should get extra points for doing it on our back porch. It was dark. However, there is not much space between houses where I live so someone could have totally caught us.
Marriage-101
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:52 pm
Oh man! So many interesting responses to this! Okay, my turn: Yes, this was a goal of my husbands pretty much the day we closed on the house. We still have yet to do it in the office or the second bathroom or basement, but all three bedrooms, both living rooms, and one bathroom have been “accomplished”. The kitchen has been attempted.
Marriage-101
said,
August 16, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Wait, does oral count?
Art Nerd
said,
August 16, 2007 at 8:24 pm
We’ve had sex in a bathroom, but not ours. In our friend Jim’s parents’ bathroom. Hey, the vanity was just the right height!
In our current place, mission has been accomplished, except for the bathroom, it’s just. too. small. When I was sick with, erm, belly issues, i didn’t fit in there to puke. But as soon as we settle on a house, it better watch out! Housewarming gifts of Astroglide would be much appreciated!
super des
said,
August 16, 2007 at 8:56 pm
We always joke about “breaking the rooms in.” In our current place, that was easy. In our new place, it will take a little more… effort.
I’ve always wanted a spiral staircase. I’ve never lived anywhere with one, so I don’t have any fond memories of it like you do. I just want some damn cool stairs. And I was not aware of these so called “floating” stairs until now. Those are cool too.
anne nahm
said,
August 16, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Somehow I’m always afraid I will slip through the floating steps, except for my huge head, which will get caught between, and I will hang. You’re welcome. Glad I could share.
I say if you can do IT in even one storage compartment in your house, that should count as doing it in every room. I mean, linen cabinet sex? That takes effort.
Christar
said,
August 16, 2007 at 9:31 pm
I love the floating stairs! I can’t wait to see them finished! I’ve always loved spiral stairs. I decided a long time ago, that if I ever get to build my dream house, there will be a regular staircase, and then in the other end of the house (probably the kitchen) there will be a spiral staircase.
You guys could use the 100 condoms AND do it in every room of your new house! Kill two birds with one stone, haha!
Audrey
said,
August 16, 2007 at 9:57 pm
When we moved into our house almost 3 years ago, we had goals to “break in” every room. I think we’re finally almost there, although we haven’t yet done the deed in the office, the 3rd bedroom that’s not really a bedroom, or the downstairs bathroom/laundry room (because it’s perpetually icky in there). But if you can have shower (or bathtub) sex, that counts as bathroom sex.
Oh, and Lindsey up there is not the only one who’s broken in her back porch. Suffice it to say, darkness and alcohol make me a little more adventurous than normal.
angela
said,
August 17, 2007 at 1:28 am
Well don’t try to do it on your new stairs. That looks dangerous.
Phoenix
said,
August 17, 2007 at 12:25 pm
A couple I was friends with had sex at a party I threw for a friend who was joining the air force… in my bathroom. No one knew until the next day. We wouldn’t have found out, except they BROKE my toilet seat!! (And it’s not like they were big or anything…) So… yeah…
And on that note–I LOVE the floating stairs. Very cool idea!
Virginia Gal
said,
August 17, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Still working on checking every room off here. Now that my libido has started to come back, I expect progress will be faster.
Rachel
said,
August 17, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Not in the bathroom? Really? The only place we haven’t is the kids room and, that ain’t happenin!! EVER! It’s just wrong.
We’ve even used both our vehicles before.
SJ
said,
August 17, 2007 at 10:54 pm
My goodness, what a saucy post!
Love the floating stairs however they scare the living crap out of me. I have no idea why either, probably because I’m clumsy and would find a way to hurt myself trying to use them. But anyway….
We’ve broken in quite a few rooms in our house, but not all. We have work to do.
Jenny
said,
August 18, 2007 at 12:24 am
Hi - I’ve been lurking for a while - found you through Lost a Sock.
Just wanted to comment on the floating stairs - any stairs with no back to them (like ladders, fire escapes, etc) scare me to death. So that would be a no-go for me.
I enjoy reading you and am looking back to some of your older posts!
Jill
said,
August 18, 2007 at 5:15 pm
We have used every room except the kids bedrooms, so there will be three more spots after they move away. My husband grew his first garden ever this year and he was trying the other night to get me to do it in the middle of the corn. I think of all the bugs out there and it doesn’t sound sexy to me at all. We have used our deck, which is completely visible from the street!
kerrianne
said,
August 18, 2007 at 8:47 pm
I will herein admit to never having heard of nor seen “floating stairs.” And they are AWESOME. I would surely fall off of them at one point and die, but AWESOME, nonetheless.
(Hurrah! for house progress.)
Durga
said,
August 19, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Whoaa that’s way too revealing. lol
floating stairs= v.cool
but wouldn’t babboo fall off the sides?
Loralee
said,
August 19, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Being the world’s clumsiest person.ever.born, those stairs fill me with fear.
I would undoubtedly fall and get wedged in the “Floating Space”, and probably be stuck there for hours on end until I hallucinate that the Care Bears where there. (You know, like Tom Hanks in the Money Pitt when he falls through the floor.)
HollowSquirrel
said,
August 20, 2007 at 1:46 am
Those 13th Street stairs freak me the f out. I’d so be down those, crackin’ my back, falling off the side & dying in a pool of bitter blood. Seriously? The 70s were scary.
Nathan Pralle
said,
August 20, 2007 at 4:12 pm
The floating stairs, although reminiscent of the era, are still freaking cool. I can’t imagine the horrors we’d have trying to keep Little One away from them (or from plummeting off them), but nonetheless, lots of fun. I could also see doing them in ways that would be simply funtabulous (odd patterns, curvy patterns, etc.).
As far as the rooms in the house, I think we’ve only as yet managed two, but both being larger folk have trouble contorting ourselves into positions that facilitate odd locations. My college gf and I, well, that was a different story — the dormitory hall was our playground. But, I was young, dumb, and full of…well, you know.
gorillabuns
said,
August 20, 2007 at 7:29 pm
we haven’t “done it” in every room of our house for fear of the kids barging in during such acts.
this cop-out doesn’t hold too much water since, we lived in our house for two years before a child showed up to kill any sex-drive left.
The steps to building the best stairway ever | hola, isabel
said,
March 10, 2008 at 5:48 pm
[…] We stopped by our new house yesterday so The King could show me the latest project he’s finally completed. This project was one of two things that I specifically wanted in the new house and I was happy to see how it had turned out. […]