I probably should have more abandonment issuesAugust 14th, 2007 @ 7:01 am
My dad is a school teacher, which means he gets the summers off. As a kid this meant we usually spent the summers living in our camping trailer up in the mountains with some of my extended family.
We’d come back down the mountain every few weeks to do laundry, grocery shopping, and for my mom to go into work for a few days. But other then that, we were on the move and it was great.
This all began to change the summer after I graduated from high school.
I remember waking up one morning and going into the kitchen, as usual, to see what everyone was up to and what the plans for the rest of the week was.
All I found was this note:
Going up in a hot air balloon was something my Mom had always wanted to do. I imagine this trip had been planned for months and months.
All behind my back.
Jerks.
I imagine my mom told my younger siblings about this trip and swore them to secrecy. I can just imagine how that went. “Don’t forget to get your bags all packed tonight, for tomorrow we go to Park City. Be sure that Isabel doesn’t see you packing because she is not invited!!”
Jerks.
I survived while they were gone. My hurt quickly faded when I had all my friends over for a party.
I baked pies.
The next summer I was back at home on break from college. It all happened again. I woke up and they were gone. This time they went on a road trip to Oregon to visit where we used to live when I was a kid, before my younger siblings were even born. They hadn’t even been alive to have lived in the houses they visited.
I stayed at home and worked.
Jerks.
Eventually I got married and moved far, far away. You know, in a house down the street from them.
When my first husband and I split up I moved back home again. It was the summer time and life went on as planned. For them.
Which means I woke up one day and they had all flown back east to visit Washington DC. After their stay at our nations capital they were renting an RV and driving around for a few weeks to visit Civil War sites. And this time they even took my grandma with them, while I stayed at home nursing my broken heart.
Jerks.
Of course they were nice enough to send me some postcards of their trip. And they brought me home a few t-shirts. They also allowed me to feed their horses and chickens while they were gone.
(I just remember that one of their horses had a freaking baby colt while they were away. So yeah, I got to deal with that also. You realize I know nothing about horses, right? That story may be a post all in it’s own.)
Washington DC is a place I’ve always wanted to go. So it makes sense that they would go and leave me home. Haa. In their defense I was an adult. A married adult that didn’t live at home. So of course they hadn’t planned the trip thinking that I would be getting a divorce and living back with them during their actual scheduled trip.
But still.
Next month The King and I will be going to Washington DC. It’s my first time there. We’re taking Babboo and we’re both pretty excited. As payback to my folks for all the years they deserted me during the summer time, I’m making them pay for my plane ticket to fly and visit them in October.
It’s a small price to pay.
So tell me, am I the only one that was left out of family trips once I became of age?
They're just my family · Vacation · Back in the day
Janssen
said,
August 14, 2007 at 5:39 pm
I LOVE DC. . . .it’s one of my favorite cities ever. I’ve been half a dozen times or so, but I’m going for the first time with my husband in a few weeks. I can’t wait!
You’ll have such a blast.
super des
said,
August 14, 2007 at 5:47 pm
When my dad retired, suddenly they were going on cruises in the Bahamas, vacations in HI, and a planned trip to Italy. But have they made the trip out from CA to visit me in NY? No way, Jose.
ps - I went to DC for my 1st time a coupla months ago. You can read all about it here.
Frema
said,
August 14, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Dude, that was so not cool for them to just up and leave you without any warning, even if you were an adult. They must’ve been afraid to tell you!
My parents are not big travelers, so that’s never happened to me, but I’ll be sure not to do it to my kids in the future!
Stephanie
said,
August 14, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Firstly, that BLOWS.
Secondly, OHMYGOODNESS. Take baboo to the Baltimore aquarium, eat Maryland blue crabs at Phillips, go to the National Zoo. Go to Arlington National Cemetary if you have time. It is overwhelming. Not great for Baboo of course. Chincoteague Island too!
I hope you have a long vacation!
Oh, I have a list a mile long. Can you tell I grew up about 1 hour away?
Laurel
said,
August 14, 2007 at 6:08 pm
I’m not sure that my parents have taken trips with my sister since I graduated high school. They’ve certainly gone on lots of couples trips, but I feel like that’s their due.
They did, however, take a photo for the church directory with just them and my sister! That broke my heart a little bit.
Jackie
said,
August 14, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Have a great time in D.C.!
My parents only “left” me once, but it was a doozy. See, I was in my sophomore year of college when they MOVED four hours away. I knew they were relocating for my dad’s job, and I even went house hunting with them. But when moving day came, they “forgot” to give me the phone number and address of the new house. (Mom claimed it was an oversight - that they’d call when they were settled.)
Yeah, I tracked them down. They weren’t going to get rid of me THAT easily! And I’ve NEVER let them forget it…
Keri
said,
August 14, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Maybe I should be friends with Stephanie, b/c it sounds like she grew up near me, in Balto! I was going to comment that if you get to Balto, I could give you some great places to go - I could be your internet tour guide. The aquarium is great, a must see if you get up here. Tons of yummy places to eat & explore. SO much to see in DC as well. You’ll have a blast.
Rachel
said,
August 14, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Since my brother and I graduated from high school, my parents have been freakin world travelers!
They’ve been to Tahoe, the Grand Canyon, Sedona, Wyoming, freakin Cancun (hello!! invite your daughter please), Switzerland (twice), Germany (twice), Austria, England, Italy.
And, my mom sent me an email yesterday that they need me to come check on their cat while they go to New Mexico!
Meh.
gorillabuns
said,
August 14, 2007 at 6:48 pm
we never traveled therefore, my mother never went anywhere.
sometimes, i wished she’d left for at least one weekend out of the year. how was i supposed to do the things teenagers, college students, etc. do if, your mom is always around?
Erika
said,
August 14, 2007 at 7:10 pm
Yay for coming to see us in DC! And yay for not coming in the hellacious July-August transition swamp heat when even the Congressmen get the hell out of dodge. You will have a great time!!!
gorillabuns
said,
August 14, 2007 at 7:16 pm
because i’m an idiot and left a work email address. it’s corrected now.
Jura
said,
August 14, 2007 at 7:50 pm
It was indeed sad to read this.
Aw, abandonment hurts. No matter how old you are. That’s something I promised to never do to my children, if I ever have any. Mom would make a trip to as far as our kitchen, and I would not be allowed to follow for maybe hours because of something bad I would have done. I was just a child back then, but the sulky feeling remains with me for always.
It is admirable how you coped, each time. How great you are with The King, and you both have Babboo. Have a great vacation, guys!
Christar
said,
August 14, 2007 at 8:31 pm
Holy crap! That’s so mean! I can’t believe they went without you, but to just up and leave without telling you is even more messed up! I’m sorry.
My family was always pretty poor, so we never got to travel much. I think we have been on a total of 3 vacations. Ever. But this sort of this has happenened to Shaun a few times.
Operation Pink Herring
said,
August 14, 2007 at 8:41 pm
When I was in high school, my mom wouldn’t tell me that she was going on trips “so that I couldn’t plan any parties”. HA! Nice try, mom. She always told me when she was coming home, so my friends and I had plenty of time to clean up.
When I was in college and both my brothers were still in high school, my mom took them to Costa Rica and didn’t even invite me. She just figured I couldn’t go since I had school. Dude, I could have skipped some classes to go to freaking Costa Rica. Plus, I was a SPANISH MAJOR. They suffered without my knowledge of espanol. Jerks.
Molly
said,
August 14, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Wow, Isabel, that really sucks!!
My parents definitely have done more things as a couple since we’ve gotten older (though a couple of those short trips involved leaving my younger, high school aged siblings at home, which I thought was odd). It didn’t bother me as much since I barely had time to sneeze between college graduation and my wedding, but I wonder if it bothered my sister and brothers…
Carrisa
said,
August 14, 2007 at 9:28 pm
dude it’s one thing to not be invited, but to not even be told of it? cruelty.
no wonder you hate hugging.
Angela
said,
August 14, 2007 at 9:36 pm
Oh my gosh, that is just so not cool! My parents included me in their trips until I moved away from home… as in graduated from college and moved to another state away from home. I love travelling and would have been so bummed if they had taken a big family trip without even telling me! Of course, the hot air ballooning I could easily live without, but visiting your old family home and D.C. without you? So sad!
Vesper
said,
August 14, 2007 at 10:18 pm
One time my family went to Disney World with out me. Disney World. As in the happiest place on earth in Orlando Florida. Disney World. My most favorite vacation place that I would choose to vacation at every time if given the choice of places to vacation at. I was very lonely the whole time (which was seriously like 2 days and nothing compared to the horror you went through time and time again). I am very sad for all the you had to endure! But excited for you to go to D.C. soon!
jeanie
said,
August 15, 2007 at 12:37 am
Oh that (and a lot of the comments) really hurts… I think the worst is the not pre-warning you (especially if you are at partyable age).
When I was pregnant with my daughter, a friend of mine organised a dinner out with all of our friends and avoided mentioning it to me - that was my biggest hurt…
janet
said,
August 15, 2007 at 1:31 am
have I mentioned I am SO EXCITED you are coming? Your visit wraps up my most whirlwind month ever. Okay, at least since the wedding month.
And you are always welcome to come with me on my summer vacations. In fact I am going to Denver tomorrow. Wanna come?
Brie
said,
August 15, 2007 at 2:04 am
My parents took my sister to Disney World and the Keys the summer I was interning during grad school. Because “she hasn’t been before” Yeah, well I haven’t been since I was 5. Let me tell exactly how much of that I remember. Oh wait. Not that much.
angela
said,
August 15, 2007 at 2:30 am
My parents take pretty lame vacations, so I was always glad to be left out. It’s pretty bad when being stuck at home is more thrilling than vacationing.
metalia
said,
August 15, 2007 at 4:52 am
Is it wrong that I’m laughing about your parents secretly planning a hot air balloon trip behind your back? Because it IS kind of funny.
Heather B.
said,
August 15, 2007 at 2:01 pm
You’re coming east! And I am positively tickled about this. Mostly because it doesn’t involve me having to travel great distances, for I am selfish like that. FYI.
Last year my mother and her friends were going to Barcelona for a long weekend. When they were planning the trip, one friend suggested inviting me so that the rooms would all be even if another friend of their’s decided to go along. My mother promptly said no and then didn’t even tell me she was going to Barcelona until the week before. Who does that??
Amy W
said,
August 15, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Having lived near DC for 30 years, I have been to every.single.tourist.trap there is.
You will have to let me know when you go, we visit our fam damily there pretty frequently.
Audrey
said,
August 15, 2007 at 5:13 pm
That seriously sucks.
Have a great time in DC! I’m really glad Babboo’s not going to wake up one morning next month and see a note about how you and the King have gone to DC. Because he wouldn’t even be able to read it — he’d just have to, I don’t know, eat it or something? Is that what babies/toddlers do with notes?
Babboo and Noah (Amalah’s Noah, of course) should totally have a DC playdate. Can you imagine the cuteness overload that would result from the West coast’s cutest baby and the East coast’s cutest baby being in the same place at the same time?! It would be amazing.
Brittany
said,
August 15, 2007 at 5:38 pm
I’m going to Park City this weekend. Be good while I’m gone (but I won’t be hot air ballooning because the one time we rode in a hot air balloon, it crashed. I should post about it someday).
So did Mom agree to pay for your plane ticket??
Emily
said,
August 15, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Ooooh, I got a good one. When I was like 7 my parents told me that they were taking the whole family to the Michael Jackson concert along with my best friend and his family. I was soooo excited cause I loved Michael. So we drove over to my friends house and everyone was gearing up for the concert. My parents, the older kids, and my friends mom all piled in the car and said they were getting gas and would come right back. My best friend and I stayed at his house with his dad. They never came back. I cried for hours. I still haven’t figured out why they would do something so terrible!
SJ
said,
August 15, 2007 at 11:24 pm
So like they just up and left and didn’t tell you AT ALL? That blows. I would have been sooo mad! My parents didn’t travel much so I can’t say this ever happened to me. I actually traveled with them a lot growing up.
And you are visiting DC! That’s my home and truly where my heart is, you know since I was born and raised there. What do you plan on doing? Where are you staying? There is so much to do there….ya’ll are going to love it.
Adria
said,
August 21, 2007 at 10:47 pm
You know, I always had this gut feeling that you grew up in Utah. I’m not sure why I knew that, but I always thought you had. Maybe because you sound like most of the people I know.
cagey
said,
August 24, 2007 at 12:14 pm
When I went to college, all of a sudden my mom could afford to take my sister on spring break trips - trips on which I was NOT invited. Trips to visit OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS. I never got a spring break trip until my last year of grad school. Um, because I had to pay for it MYSELF.