In which I complain about how busy I am and you all just roll your eyes at meJuly 25th, 2007 @ 5:01 am
You may or may not have heard that BlogHer is happening this week. I’ve been a little busy trying to get ready for my 9:00 am flight this Thursday.
Plus, you might have heard about a certain book that came out this week that I’m trying to finish before the spoilers get to me.
You might also have heard that our laptop died.
Which means I will be at a blogging conference without a laptop to actually blog on.
The irony is not lost on me.
Since I love the interweb so much, I have asked a few of my favorite people to guest blog while I’m away having fun and enjoying some non “everything I do, I do it for you” time.
(Proof that we do get to see each other every now and again.)
Long time readers might remember back in the day when my husband used to write here every Friday. We called it King Friday, and it was fun. But then he got busy and was relieved of this duty.
Some of you missed hearing from him. Most of you didn’t. For those of you that did miss it. May I present The King, in all of his glory:
Wheels, and the need for them….
I walk to work every day. Its not bad. I like it. It takes me about 20 minutes or so. Sometimes longer. Particularly if the foot traffic is moving slowly, or if I get stuck behind some idiot with a suitcase that they are dragging to work. Explain this to fad to me. I understand a bejeweled denim jacket, or those stupid white canvas shoes with no laces. I get talking in ebonics, or driving a low rider car with a really loud stereo. What I don’t understand is having a bunch of stuffed animals or bottles of air freshener on your dashboard, or dragging a suitcase to work.
Let’s talk about the suitcase issue.
If you are leaving town on business, directly from work, then by all means, save time by taking your suitcase with you. If you are a stripper, and have tons and tons of panties and bras that you are bringing to work, so you are always wearing fresh ones while giving lap dances, then okay. I get it. But if you are a professional anything else, and have arms and legs that operate, put your stuff into a backpack, briefcase or otherwise, and pick it up off the damn ground!! There is no reason to tote an entire suitcase of work back and forth every night.
Maybe you are unfortunate and your company refuses to pay for a laptop, so you are bringing home an entire PC every night, monitor and all. Okay, then I understand not wanting that on your back. There is NO OTHER reason to require wheels for your commute. If you have a laptop in there, carry it like a normal human. If you have that much work to bring home, then stay at work and get it done. We Americans are viewed as lazy fat ass slobs as it is. Let’s not prove the rest of the world right by insisting on dragging our briefcase to work instead of carrying it. Next, the trend will be working women in Gucci Larks. (Yes, the lark is a device for the handi-capable, not the lazy.)
(Isabel took this picture last night. Proof that this is a problem in downtown Seattle.)
So, since half the working population seems to have a wheeled suitcase to drag to work, we get into small traffic issues. There are only so many curb cuts at each corner crosswalk. These people want to roll down from the sidewalk, thus causing considerable congestion at every corner, making it tough for people in wheelchairs, and those pushing strollers to actually get anywhere. Plus, most of them are on the phone, and carrying their legally available addictive drugs (yes, I mean Starbucks) so they are already moving very slowly.
Can we make a special lane for people with a timeline? Can we pass a law requiring people with luggage to walk closest to the curb? Or maybe better yet, can we just all act like we have arms and pick our crap up off the street?
Seriously people. Seriously.
On another note, don’t you guys love vintage Vespa scooters.
The King · Guest posts
CPA Mom and Soccer Mom Angela
said,
July 25, 2007 at 1:55 pm
I won’t have my laptop with me at BlogHer either. Just don’t want to.
Frema
said,
July 25, 2007 at 2:17 pm
No computer here, either. I’m there to learn more about blogging and meet my awesome friends. The blogging can wait ’til I get home!
This one’s for The King: Why single out the women with Gucci Larks? Men can be just as lazy!
-R-
said,
July 25, 2007 at 2:37 pm
There is a woman who rides the bus with me who always brings a wheelie suitcase with A TACKLE BOX hooked onto the top of it. And she won’t even pick the contraption up on the bus. She wheels it down the bus aisle, which is not really wide enough for the suitcase + tackle box combo. I shouldn’t make fun of her because she probably has serious medical issues and the tackle box is actually a defibrillator or something. And yet, every day I think to myself, “PICK UP YOUR DAMN SUITCASE!”
Marriage-101
said,
July 25, 2007 at 2:58 pm
I love King Fridays! In fact, I tried to get my husband to do a weekly or monthly blog post on mine, but he refused. Sigh…
Law Student
said,
July 25, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Nearly every day someone asks me if I am going on a trip because I have a “suitcase” and I respond, no I’m just going to law school and this is a rolling briefcase that I carry every day. There is no way I could possibly carry a laptop, 2-3 big case books and all the other sundry items required for a night of law school classes. Once my fellow classmates notes my back-pain-free existence, they followed suit.
heidikins
said,
July 25, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Hahah! I’ve missed King Fridays!! Hey Mr. King - I know you are busy and all, but I would appreciate it if you seriously thought about returning to Friday-bloghood, you’re just too funny!!
xox
PS Dear Isabel, you are equally hilarious and I think you should continue to post on a regular basis.
)
janet
said,
July 25, 2007 at 3:29 pm
king wednesdays!!!!!! maybe they will make a comeback?
and yay for guestbloggers
teehee
Laurel
said,
July 25, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Given the immutable law that the size of your work bag is directly to proportional to how much unnecessary crap you will haul to and from work… I think a suitcase is a bad idea.
michelle de seattle
said,
July 25, 2007 at 3:40 pm
I wish Seattle would make those little ramps on EVERY PART OF THE CORNER, so you don’t get that “fish ladder” effect you are talking about, where everyone with wheels is jostling for the ramp. That 4″ vertical curb is not going to prevent a car from running anyone over. Also, I tripped over one once. While I was, um, sending an extremely urgent text message. About a line of people in their bathrobes outside the Eileen Fisher store.
Also, you should send all Troll comments that you delete to me, so that I can laugh at them.
Rachel
said,
July 25, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Welcome back King!! You were missed!!
People don’t walk to work here, so suitcases are not a problem. There is more walking in downtown, but mostly like to and from the courthouse to an office, not from home to work.
Operation Pink Herring
said,
July 25, 2007 at 7:00 pm
Solution: Just change jobs and work in the ghetto, like I do. No suitcases in my way! And I walk extra fast to get away from the sleazy drug dealers and the roving gangs of 11-year olds (the one reason I HATE summer — all the hoodlums are patrolling the streets). So it’s bonus exercise, too!
SJ
said,
July 25, 2007 at 10:10 pm
I really missed The King Fridays! And I’m excited to see who you have set up as your guest bloggers
Have fun in Chi-Town!
Christar
said,
July 26, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Good luck at the BlogHer conference!!! I can’t wait to hear all about it.
I missed King Fridays, haha! I love that we got this post, and I totally agree with what you’re saying. I have to walk all over campus and I hate the people with their stupid little rolly backpack/suitcases. I have a notebook and books I have to carry, yet I use a backpack that has a compartment for my notebook computer, and all my books and I carry it! Burns more calories anyways!
Hilary
said,
July 27, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Isabel: I’ve already heard how pretty you are!
King: Good, funny post. I think you should make your “curb law” common knowledge. You know, kind of like “don’t drive slow in the fast lane (left lane)” type deal. Those suitcases would drive me bonkers. I don’t get it b/c I would think it takes more energy to drag them than it would to just pick it up and put a backpack on.
Durga
said,
July 27, 2007 at 5:50 pm
the “case on wheels” is a world famous lawyer thing. yes, for real! lawyers have so much paper to carry around n spend hrs at home drafting submissions etc…so they put it all in a “case on wheels”…pun probably intended by lawyers.
so u never know…these ppl u see may just be really casually dressed lawyers…or just homeless ppl. lol
Audrey
said,
July 27, 2007 at 9:55 pm
Welcome back, King! I have never understood the suitcase people. Who needs that much stuff? Seriously.
Kathleen
said,
July 30, 2007 at 6:18 pm
So fun! I miss King Fridays.
(PS — That’s my building in the background of the photo!)