In which we have a guest poster who talks about boobiesMay 24th, 2007 @ 7:01 am
There really is no way to fully intruduce my guest poster for today. I was lucky enough to meet her (and Christar) a few months ago. She’s sassy (like me) and wacky (also, like me). And because she’s a giver, she graciously accepted my request for a guest post.
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What happens when there aren’t any mysterious bags in front of the local Sephora? Or cowboys crossing the streets of downtown Seattle?
I’ll tell you what happens, Isabel takes a day off and leaves her blog in my hands. So here I am writing to you from far, far away where the grass is green mostly dead and the girls are pretty freakin’ hot!
May I preface this post by telling you a little bit about myself and how I met Isabel? My name is Brittany, and I blog at Weekday Wisdom. You may call me Brittany, Britt, or even Buttany which is my older brother’s endearing nickname of choice. I found Isabel about a year and a half ago via a link to a link to a link (you know how it goes), and I must say I heart her. She has taught me so much. Before there was an Isabel in my life, I knew nothing about Veronica Mars, Sephora, Rhett Miller, nudist Mexican beaches, or the phrase ‘balls to the wall.’ I am all the wiser thanks to our friend, Isabel.
In December I had my first baby and became a stay-at-home mom. This lifestyle is completely new to me. I’m not sure how to use my time now. I make a lot of bottles and wipe a lot of butts (well, just two actually) and the highlight of my day has become spying on looking out for my neighbors.
My street has become a Wisteria Lane of sorts. Over the past few months, there has been an increase in boobage among the ladies on my street.
The first set of new boobs in my neighborhood lives across the street from me. They belong to Linda, mother of four. I noticed Linda was looking quite alert one day (or at least her boobs were), and everything was revealed one Sunday when my husband came home from church and said, “Guess what! Robert got new boobs for his birthday.”
Very clever. The man across the street bought his wife new boobs for his birthday, and then told all of the men at church about it so they can all buy new boobs for their birthdays, too.
The second set of new boobs lives down the street. They belong to Nancy, also mother of four. Hers were her college graduation gift. Apparently having nice boobs is a requirement for becoming a registered nurse, right up there with purchasing your own scrubs.
I’m a pretty observant person, so it’s very obvious to me that cup sizes are on the incline. The third and fourth sets have yet to be confirmed, but my boobie radar has been going off like crazy, and I think it’s only a matter of time before I hear the truth about Beth and Tiffany.
When a woman makes such a change to her body, it’s hard to know the appropriate way to react. Some women flaunt their new boobies as if they might win an award for ‘Best Sidekicks.’ Others take the sneaky approach and wear baggy clothes until they feel that everyone believes their ta-tas have always been large and perky. I never know if I’m allowed to speak to a boob job recipient about her new boobs. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I’ve never openly discussed boob jobs with someone who’s had one.
As for my boobs, well… let’s just say there’s something special about being able to whip ‘em out at a birthday party and watch my friends take turns trying them on.
Guest posts
HollowSquirrel
said,
May 24, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Were you neighborly and sent each of these women a Congratulations on Your New Rack card? Or does Hallmark not make those yet?
My street is turning into Wisteria Lane but in another way (and I was seriously going to blog about it today), but now I won’t steal yer thunder! Thunder stealer, I am not!
Laurel
said,
May 24, 2007 at 3:57 pm
I am amazed by fake breasts, for real. I used to take a yoga class with a woman with implants and felt constant amazement about the position of her breasts in relation to her body… they never went where you’d expect them to!
heidikins
said,
May 24, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Haha! Fantastic! I can’t stop laughing! (Love ya Britt!)
xox
Christar
said,
May 24, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Those things are so awesome! I’ve never needed them, I have enough boobage of my own, but I totally wanted my cousin to get some for her wedding! She has tiny ta ta’s, and when she tried them on with her wedding dress, it totally filled out the top of her dress, but she didn’t buy them! I guess it’s not for everyone, but I think they’re awesome!
Rachel
said,
May 24, 2007 at 5:03 pm
I have a friend who had a boob job and she very openly talks about it! I’ve even seen before and after pics and what not. I myself have not had one, but, I would prefer that my boobage be in the same place it was when I was 16. After 2 kids, they, um look towards the south more and more.
Carrisa
said,
May 24, 2007 at 5:31 pm
I wonder if these are the same fake boobs they use on Melora Hardin for the season finale of The Office. Cuz those boobs were way huge.
Kait
said,
May 24, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Carrisa - I wondered that too.
I think that after I’m done with the breeding I’d like to have mine repaired… not increased or made to be insanely perky… just back to “before”, you know? And I would totally tell people, because it’s not like you can pretend that they’re real.
Hilary
said,
May 24, 2007 at 5:48 pm
I have small boobs. And I’m fine with them. For now. That might change in 10 years though because I can already do a Cameron Diaz trick from The Sweetest Thing. (If you’ve seen it, you’ll know what I’m talking about.) 22….28….22….28….when I was 22 my boobs were like here and now they’re like here.
Frema
said,
May 24, 2007 at 6:08 pm
For most of my teenage/adult life, I was a nice B cup. In the last year or two, that’s turned into a C. You think I’d be happy about that, but I want my Bs back!
Audrey
said,
May 24, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Britt! I’ve fallen super far behind in my blog reading lately, and i see Britt’s posts there on my google reader just piling up, and I’ve just been waiting for when I have time to read and comment thoroughly. So, suffice it to say, I haven’t read Weekday Wisdom in way too long (just like before today I hadn’t read Isabel in way too long), and what a great surprise to get to read two of my favorite bloggers right here in the same place while I play catch-up! Great post!
Anth
said,
May 25, 2007 at 4:09 am
I know a lady with six kids who pretty openly discusses her boob job. It sounds like it was more of a restoration, you know? Plus it’s not like she’s got balloons on her chest now. I can’t believe I’m typing this, but…they’re tasteful. Realistic. Just…perky.
If my husband bought ‘himself’ new boobs for his birthday…I would probably buy him a Swedish Penis Enlarger. Toss that insecurity right back at him. Ha ha
Lindsey
said,
May 25, 2007 at 11:39 pm
I had a coworker once who got a boob job and we talked openly about it. I even got to feel them (in a very non-sexual way…in the office actually…HOT, I know!). They felt weird and squishy like a bag of water was under her skin or something. I swear I could hear it make a crinkly noise like a plastic bag, but I think it was my imagination.
SJ
said,
May 26, 2007 at 4:53 am
Do those things really work? Or help? Or…..do you like them?
What a great guest post this was, I’ll check out your blog now for sure since I love Isabel too!
Boob Girl
said,
June 1, 2007 at 6:14 am
I have fake boobs. Very few people know and I like to keep it that way. Since most of my close friends don’t even know about the saline in my chest, I enjoy listening to the comments that they make about women who have boob jobs and how their self esteem must be really low, etc. I never say much; I just nod my head and listen to them talk about how they can ALWAYS tell when women have fake boobs. Obviously.