Everything’s gonna be all right?April 19th, 2007 @ 7:01 am
Early in our marriage The King and I set up some guidelines of places we would never eat at:
- Denny’s
- Taco Bell
- McDonalds
Now we know that from time to time I slip and eat at McDonalds. Last Friday was one of those times. The King and I were out shopping for some new jeans for me and decided to stop at the local food court a quick dinner.
While we were waiting in line to order I noticed the girl in line ahead of us. She was alone and looked to be about 17 or 18. She was heavy set and disheveled looking with a pink mohawk and smeared make up on her face. She was wearing pants with chains and pockets and too much fabric. Her black t-shirt was too big for her and I noticed how dirty it was, not to mention the amount of holes in it. She wore an over sized hoodie over her shirt. She looked like she might be homeless, although I didn’t think she was.
She kept looking at Babboo in his stroller playing with his little book.
“How old is he?”
“He’ll be a year old this next week.”
I could tell she wanted to talk to me, but I wasn’t sure why.
“I had a little girl two days ago.”
This statement shocked me so much that I didn’t know how to respond. It came out of nowhere.
“Wow. Two days ago?”
I looked around to see if I could see her baby.
“Where is she?”
“She over there with my boyfriend. He’s changing her diaper at that table.”
I looked around some more, but still couldn’t see them. The King said he did. And yes, in fact, a diaper was being changed on the table at the food court.
I was instantly taken back to when Babboo was two days old. We were still in the hospital. I was learning how to be someone’s mom. We were just beginning to adjust to being a family.
“How are you feeling?”
“I feel like crap.”
I asked if she had had a c-section. She told me she hadn’t, but that she still wasn’t feeling too hot. I understood what she was talking about.
“When did you get out of the hospital?”
“Just this afternoon.”
“How do you like being a mom, so far?”
“It’s cool. I like her.”
My mind was racing. I wanted to tell her so many things. I wanted to shout that it will get better. It will be even more amazing. You will get more sleep. You will know what your baby wants even before she does. You are going to love it.
Of course I didn’t say any of these things to her. I didn’t hug her, even though I wanted to so much. I just stood there deciding what to order for dinner.
She got her food order and went back to her table where her two day old baby, her boyfriend, and a whole group of kids were waiting. I watched them the entire time we were eating our food. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them.
I wondered what her story was. Where were her parents? Had she taken a class on parenting? Did she know what resources were available to her? Are there even resources even available? What was going to be become of her? What was going to become of her baby? Was she going to love her enough? Would she be able to take care of her baby? Who was going to take care of her? Would her boyfriend stick around? Would he be able to help them?
I wanted to tell myself that I felt confident things would be okay for this new mom and her little girl. But I’m not confident that they will be. I know how worried I was when Babboo was first born and I have a supportive family, a loving husband, and 31 years of knowledge under my belt. I wonder if because this girl is so young that she doesn’t know to be worried. Maybe that’s a good thing.
Here’s hoping they’ll be just fine.
——
Want to read about my latest New Thing? Head over to my other blog for pictures. And blacked out eyes of co-workers (who is single, and hott, and looking).
Random
Christar
said,
April 19, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Oh sheesh, I would have been so worried for that little baby! It makes me so upset when I see people who are way too young to be having babies, who have them anyways… and you just worry about it until it makes you sick. Some people adjust great and their kids are just fine, but I’ve seen a lot who don’t know what they’re doing and are raising their children in the worst ways possible.
Sometimes with the ways I feel and talk, I feel like I’m way beyond my years, lol.
Keri
said,
April 19, 2007 at 6:45 pm
Great post. I pray they will be ok too. When both my girls were 2 days old, the last place on earth I’d want to be is the food court at the mall. I hope she has somewhere/someone to go to that will care for her & her little one.
sbmaya
said,
April 19, 2007 at 6:53 pm
Oy! I was at the beach or the park at a few days old - but not some germy mall food court - but on the flip side, my friend (a very good and responsible mama with a giant healthy #2 baby) took her daughter to Nordy’s to have lunch with her mom after she got out of the hospital. She knew she wouldn’t be getting out much in the near future with two kids and felt good enough to go, so…..she went. Of course, world of hygenic difference between McD’s and Nordys’ food areas. I hope.
Poor thing. I hope she/they pull through. How scary. Of course, as you said, she might not know enough to be scared.
janet
said,
April 19, 2007 at 6:54 pm
This post kinda hit home because I work for a nonprofit that tries to get more resources for parents and babies/toddlers/kids. I could rattle off a whole lot of stats about it, but it’s funny cause I am just sitting at a desk all day and it’s hard to make the connection that all these stats and data are about REAL PEOPLE. Like this mom you met. Hopefully she has the support she needs.
HollowSquirrel
said,
April 19, 2007 at 6:58 pm
I could barely stand up after 2 days. DUDE. Oh my goodness. UGH…sounds like she might have been in shock still. Best of luck to her and the baby.
CPA Mom
said,
April 19, 2007 at 7:18 pm
My little sister was 17 and newly married to a 17 year old when her daughter was born. I had all the same worries. Now it is 15 years later and that baby, and two more have thrived under the excellent care of my sister who is a wonderful mom. Sometimes, when things look the darkest, the sun is just waiting to show its potential to shine.
michelle de seattle
said,
April 19, 2007 at 8:41 pm
*sniff*
Donut Shoppe
said,
April 20, 2007 at 12:38 am
Veronica Mars’ clip can be found at myspace for you to view.
Frema
said,
April 20, 2007 at 12:54 am
Wow, this story blows my mind. How old do you think she was? Is she even out of high school? (Well, I guess she is right now!)
Here’s hoping that everything turns out OK for that little mall family.
MK
said,
April 20, 2007 at 12:55 am
Wow that is scary - c-section or not, I wouldn;t have my baby out at 2 days old in a food court. How sad for her and the baby. It does make you wonder what will become of them. YOu hope for the best and count your own blessings.
Susan in va
said,
April 20, 2007 at 1:09 am
You’re SWEET BABBOO’S Mom!!! I was over at Mrs. Squirrel’s yesterday complaining that I couldn’t FOR THE LIFE of me remember the cartoon that name came from. She reminded me. And now I just feel…stupid
Anyway, I think the young girl is oblivious to the challenges to come. I think the older you get, the greater the realization that you are responsible for shaping, molding and directing a precious life! And then you freak out at the possibility that you might screw up! I wouldn’t have even considered that as a young girl - I would just want to make sure my baby had cute clothes and a cool stroller :/
I think it took me two years to get up the nerve to take my kids to McDs (a.k.a. the “ses pool”). I’m not so picky now.
P.S. Thanks for stopping by my place. I appreciated your comment. Thinks have been very solemn here. It’s heart wrenching.
Susan in va
said,
April 20, 2007 at 1:10 am
Obviously I meant “things” instead of “thinks.”
Me “thinks” me type too fast
Lisa B
said,
April 20, 2007 at 1:51 am
Here’s hoping…
Fraulein N
said,
April 20, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Aw. I hope so. It does sound like she’s in shock.
Lucky Gem
said,
April 20, 2007 at 2:49 pm
You seem like such a sweet person. It’s amazing the connection I feel to other moms now. I know where they are coming from now and why they have such desire to talk about their kids all the time and focus on another little person’s life. It’s wonderful. It’s made me a softer person. I only hope this girl gets to experience the same.
Kelly
said,
April 20, 2007 at 4:29 pm
How sweet of you to talk with her and just be nice. I’ll bet that girl gets a lot of odd looks and judgemental stares from many people.
Here’s hoping she and the baby turn out okay….
Rachel
said,
April 20, 2007 at 5:25 pm
I agree with what Lucky said. You feel a bond with other mothers. And there are so many things you want to tell the new ones and you can’t help but worry about young mothers because, good Lord, it’s hard for me sometimes and I’m not 17 years old.
SJ
said,
April 20, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Just like a few others have said, here’s hoping that everything with the young new mom and baby girl will be just.fine.
ReDinkyDink
said,
April 21, 2007 at 2:04 am
Oh my gosh! I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom unassisted two days after Lilly was born. She was at the mall?!?!?! Wow…
Gosh, that’s just so scarry. Poor girl, baby, and everyone involved. It’s going to be a rough road ahead for them.
angela
said,
April 21, 2007 at 3:07 am
Wow, that is so shocking and sort of sad. I hope they are okay.
Lindsey
said,
April 21, 2007 at 2:39 pm
I really hope everything works out for their family and child. I’m suprised they were out and about so soon after she left the hospital. I hope she has a support system.
The diaper being changed on the table kind of grosses me out.
DeAnn
said,
April 21, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Wow, that makes me pretty sad. I hope they’re OK, too. I do worry about babies born to parents who would change a diaper on a FOOD TABLE in public. Ew.
LaLa
said,
April 23, 2007 at 11:34 am
That’s put me off eating Macca’s in a food court for a while now… nonetheless, your post touched my heart.
Hilary
said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:00 pm
My mouth is still on the floor. I can’t imagine how shocked you were when she said that because I know how shocked I was when I read it.
I’ll be praying for a certain girl. Somewhere….out there….who might be all alone with another girl to raise. What is her story? I’m so much like you in wondering everything. I also wouldn’t have been able to take my eyes off her the whole time.
Onto lighter things. No Taco Bell? Really? Oh my!