With this ring…April 11th, 2007 @ 7:01 am
I heard a radio commercial on the way to pick up The King at the airport last night. It was for a jewelry store and they were talking about how the new trend in engagement rings are for them to be 2 carats or bigger. I don’t know what you all think about that, but that’s a damn big ring. And an expensive one at that.
The subject of engagement rings has always made me feel uncomfortable.
I remember my Mom showing me her engagement ring when I was a teenager. I vividly recall her telling me it was over one carat and that I should never settle for anything smaller. I also remember that my Mom always kept her engagement ring in a safe deposit box and wore a smaller ring my Dad had bought for her when I was little. I asked her what the point of having a fancy ring was if it’s worth too much money to wear. She didn’t have an answer.
Like most young girls I would look through the JCPenny’s catalog and look at the pretty diamond rings. I remember even cutting out a picture of a huge diamond ring and hanging it on my wall. It was oven a carat, just like my Mom said I needed. That was the ring I wanted when I grew up.
When my first husband and I were talking about getting married the discussion naturally turned to engagement rings. He asked me what I wanted. Long gone was the cut out picture from the Penny’s catalog. I no longer wanted a huge ring. I just couldn’t justify spending that much money on a ring when we could use the money for a trip. Or a new couch.
Plus, let’s be honest, what 22 year old guy has that kind of money? We sure didn’t.
That’s the part that makes me uncomfortable. I never knew that correct way to say; please buy me a ring that costs more than the car you drive. Please save up for months and months and then buy the rest on credit. I just couldn’t do it, even though I’m sure he would have been happy to buy me whatever ring I wanted.
I told him I wanted a very plain ring. He was happy to oblige and we ended up with this ring. I got a very small eternity band to go with it that had a few (very small) diamonds on it. I think it all cost less than $300. For our first Valentine’s Day he bought me another of the little diamond bands. I had them all soldered together. It was pretty, but very plain.
After the divorce I really didn’t know what to do with the ring. It wasn’t like I had a child to pass it on to and I knew it wasn’t worth anything to sell. I finally decided to give it to my good friend as a Christmas present. She had always loved the ring and I knew she would appreciate it and take good care of it. She is wearing it every time I see her and I’m glad to see her getting some good use out of it.
When The King and I were talking about marriage we didn’t even live in the same state. Thus making engagement ring shopping impossible. (Looking back now, I guess we could have virtual shopped together.) Again, I never felt comfortable demanding he spend lots of money on a ring for little old me. He asked me a few questions.
Do you want more than one diamond on the ring?
Yes, please.
Do you want platinum or yellow gold?
Yes, please.
The King surprised me at work one morning shortly after this discussion. He had driven all night, over 900 miles, to surprise me with a wedding proposal and an engagement ring. It was a wildly romantic gesture. And again, something that made me very uncomfortable. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry him. I did. With every fiber of my body. It was the whole money spent on an engagement ring thing that freaked me out.
The part that also freaked me out was that this new ring looked just a little too much like my first wedding ring. Only this time it was platinum and the diamonds were much, much larger. I was still shocked to see it. The fact that it reminded me of my first ring is something I’ve never told The King.
Leave it to The King to take things up a notch. Good boy. Check out those diamonds. Not only did he get me this lovely ring, he also got me a silver and gold band to wear with it. You know, depending on what outfit and jewelry I’m wearing. (Today, for instance, I’m wearing my gold band to go with my new shoes.)
While I love my engagement ring, it is by no means 2 carats. I’m not even sure that my little fingers could hold up a 2 carat diamond. That shiz’s has got to be heavy, right?
So tell me, is the 2 carat engagement ring really the new trend? And if so, what do you all think about it? I think it’s a lot of money to spend on a ring when you could use the money for a fabulous wedding in Mexico. Or something equally as amazing.
The King · They're just my friends · Me · Back in the day
H. Squirrel
said,
April 11, 2007 at 5:07 pm
I was all set to not have a big diamond solitaire engagement ring, but then I felt PRESSURE to get a diamond when I told people I didn’t want a diamond. I should have stuck to my guns. That $$ could have been better spent elsewhere. I love love love my rings, but really they’re not necessary.
The new trend will always be more and more with diamonds, I think.
janet
said,
April 11, 2007 at 5:19 pm
I had the same conflicted feelings. I am pretty frugal and we aren’t rich, so anything in the realm of 2 carats would have been stupid. But, I also like pretty sparkly things and I didn’t want to be totally underwhelmed either. After all, you do wear it every day forever, right?
In the end, I was over the moon happy because:
1. The ring was paid for completely by an unexpected and un-budgeted bonus that my husband got. The money was never in the bank long enough for it to feel like it was missing.
2. My setting makes my diamond look bigger than it really is. At least when I look at the ring, I think it looks at least twice as expensive as it really was (and yes, of course I asked the price - I am a control freak!). Every time I look at my hand I feel happy because I love the ring and because I know it was a good value. But that’s definitely a tough balance to find in a piece of jewelry!
Sometimes I think about what else we could have done with our wedding $$. My parents were willing to give us the cash if we wanted to elope. I’m so glad we didn’t. That weekend was priceless. It will just take a little longer to buy a house, that’s all. In the end, money isn’t everything.
Becky..Absent Minded Housewife
said,
April 11, 2007 at 5:33 pm
I didn’t get the diamond ring until 8 years into our marriage. We just couldn’t justify the expense, at the time, on what amounts to a whim.
I used to work with a person, who I won’t name, who made her very sweet fiance take back the very large ring he’d already got her for something very very large. She bragged about this to anyone who would listen.
I didn’t like her much. (Yes, I was the one called when she wouldn’t cover her own shift.) I outright told her that she was going to make a lousy wife. She only smirked at me because I had no ring and therefore couldn’t know about commitment.
Yep, they were divorced two years later. I ran into her and she’d stopped smirking.
With this ring… at diamondring
said,
April 11, 2007 at 5:34 pm
[…] Original post by: Isabel Filed under: Uncategorized | […]
Operation Pink Herring
said,
April 11, 2007 at 5:50 pm
From what I’ve seen, bigger is the new trend. I’ve seen a few rings lately that have almost made my mouth drop open — which is pretty much the response the wearer(s) were hoping for, I think. But they were SO big I thought it was obnoxious. I was afraid they were going to poke my eye out with that thing. One girl actually told me that she told her fiance that she didn’t care about quality, color, etc… she just wanted the biggest diamond he could afford. Yikes!!
I don’t think I’d want anything so very, very expensive, because I’d be afraid I’d lose it. Or stab out someone’s eye with it.
Rachel
said,
April 11, 2007 at 6:26 pm
I think bigger is the new trend. Everyone seems to be all about impressing other people. For me, my wedding band and engagement ring our about my commitment and marriage to my husband and nothing else. They are to show the world that I am proud to be married to him.
My set is simple, white gold band, white gold engagement ring with one princess cut solitaire. Less than 1 carat, I believe.
My best friend, who is not married or engaged (but in a serious relationship) always talks about the ring she wants. White gold, princess cut and at least 1 carat, but wants more than that.
Chris knew only that I did not want yellow gold. He picked out my wedding ring and he bought it and he gave it to me. That’s all that really matters.
Frema
said,
April 11, 2007 at 6:26 pm
When Luke and I were shopping for my engagement ring, we were already living together and he only had a part-time (seasonal) job, and I felt terrible. Terrible for wanting a ring when I usually don’t care for jewelry, and terrible because I knew he’d be draining whatever savings he had to pay for it. We found a beautiful half-carat ring knocked down from almost a grand to five hundred bucks, and I settled on that one, even though I really wanted the fancier one-carat version. Like you, I just couldn’t justify the expense.
Now, though, I love my ring, and wish my fingers weren’t going to be too fat for it soon.
Also? What a clever thing to do with your first set of rings. It’s nice that someone you know is getting good use out of them.
-R-
said,
April 11, 2007 at 6:29 pm
I admit that I tend to judge people with large rings, like I might think that they got married for the money or that the person is very materialistic. I know this isn’t always true, but I am a judgmental person.
My ring is very small, and I like it and think it suits me, but sometimes I feel like people are judging me for that, and I tend to blurt out, “It was my grandmother’s!” I’m not lying; it really was my grandmother’s, but why do I feel the need to justify it?
Hilary
said,
April 11, 2007 at 6:34 pm
I think people (women) are just so into impressing others. That’s why they want bigger, bigger, bigger. Even if it’s a sucky diamond, like OPH said above me, they don’t care, they just want the biggest they can get. And that’s sad. I told my husband what cut I wanted and that was about it. He did the rest and thankfully he did a good job. I love my rings with all my heart and look at them often during the day. Yes, they might have cost a lot of money but I WILL have them forever. I WILL wear them on my finger and look at them every single day. And I will be able to pass them onto my daughter when I’m gone. Something I wouldn’t have been able to do with a couch or a trip. Also, my ring will be worth much more by that time. A trip only lasts a week or so and a couch? Several years, maybe. A diamond is forever.
heidikins
said,
April 11, 2007 at 6:36 pm
I think diamonds are pretty, sparkly and meaningful - but I absolutely detest those women who flaunt their big-ass rings as proof a man loves them and talk about carats and cuts instead of the reasons he is a kind and caring man and will make a wonderful husband and father. Yes, fancy jewelry is exciting. No, it’s not the most exciting part of a wedding. Does this trend in showier, flashier engagement rings say something about a large number of women focusing on the superficial, completely inconsequential aspect of a marriage and putting the other, more important stuff off? You know, things like communication, honesty, and trust? I don’t know… but to me it kind of seems like the two might corrolate.
Please forgive the rant: it’s something I feel quite strongly about. xox
Elizabeth
said,
April 11, 2007 at 6:45 pm
Oh HELLZ TO THE NO!!! With the first husband? I was all “just get me whatever.” And he did. And it was nice. But not exactly what I had in mind. I was hoping for a diamond that you could, oh I don’t know, SEE WITH THE NAKED EYE.
So with Baby Daddy #2? I’ll take at least a 1 carat, princess cut, platinum solitaire with some bling on the side please!
Emily
said,
April 11, 2007 at 6:46 pm
I think so many young people are living above their means these days. If you have all kinds of money to blow, then a big shiny ring it is. If you have to save for months and max out your credit card, you’re stupid. That’s what I have to say anyways.
TV Goddess
said,
April 11, 2007 at 7:21 pm
I don’t think that’s a trend AT ALL, particularly after “Blood Diamond.” I think the new trend is to buy either antique rings or non-diamond rings or conflict-free diamonds. I will probably get a conflict-free sapphire ring if/when I ever get married. I don’t care about jewelry, so I don’t know why I would suddenly care when it’s a wedding ring.
Molly
said,
April 11, 2007 at 8:25 pm
Two carats is definitely a lot to me.
It’s a funny that you brought this up because I’ve been thinking about the very same thing over the last few weeks. My girlfriend got married a little over a week ago. She has a whopper of a ring, and it’s gorgeous. Mine is much smaller. Not that it matters, because I’m every bit as happily married as she. Kevin and I got engaged when we were in college. I was 19, he was 21. My girlfriend, on the other hand, got engaged when she and her guy were 29 and 35. Big age difference, big income difference, big ring difference.
It also has a lot to do with what you want. Mostly, I don’t want $8000 in credit card debt, or $8000 less in my savings account because I’m wearing it on my finger. What I really want is a bigger house with great schools for my kids.
)
Maybe a bigger ring someday. Like when we reach our first million. You know…
Molly
said,
April 11, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Nice of me to proofread, eh?
Gahhh.
cady
said,
April 11, 2007 at 8:49 pm
i agree that bigger is the new way to go. when joe proposed to me, he gave me his mother’s engagment ring, which is about a 1/2 carat. he got me a beautiful diamond wedding band to go with it, which i absolutely love. now, though, he wants to get me another engagement ring so that i have an heirloom but also have a ring that is just mine, one that no one’s had before. we’re looking at 1-1 1/2 carats. i think that’s big enough. at least for me.
Carrisa
said,
April 11, 2007 at 8:51 pm
I didn’t know that was the trend. My diamond solitaire is almost a full carat and I love it. I do think it’s silly to spend a ton of money. We went to Israel Diamond Supply and got it “wholesale to the public” whatever that means. What it really meant was that a ring that would have cost him like $3500 at the mall only ended up costing him like $1500
And it’s white gold not platinum. Platinum is nice but not a requirement.
Chas
said,
April 11, 2007 at 9:11 pm
My engagment ring (seven years old now) is “ONLY” a one carat princess cut; dang, I never was very trendy. I was really happy with that ring. It cost him over two grand…for crying out loud, how much do these people spend if 2 carats and above is the new standard. I think that’s just ridiculous. Mines no where near that big and I still get nervous about losing the diamond.
alison
said,
April 11, 2007 at 9:15 pm
To be completely honest I’m of the school of thought that in diamonds, bigger is almost always better! I went through a lot of stages with my engagement ring… loving it, maybe deciding I didn’t love it that much, thinking I wanted to change it, then deciding I loved it again. Today I really love it but I’ve told my hubby that some day (10 year anniversary…) if he would like to trade in the center diamond for a bigger one I wouldn’t mind it.
Guess I’m just selfish like that! Or wishfully thinking we’ll have more $$ in 8 years!
MadMom
said,
April 11, 2007 at 11:52 pm
interesting topic. I remember when I got engaged, since we were the first couple among our friends to do so it was like we set the bar and all our friends that got engaged after us had to beat my ring. I have a ring that totals 2 carats and I think its just beautiful. i never cared too much about size and stuff. my husband put it together himself pretty much and did a great job. but I could see the glare in all the girls eye when they saw it. they asked me about the carats and color and stuff. i was like ‘who cares!!’. apparently they did cause the next one that turned up engaged got a ring that was just a few points bigger than mine….and she didnt hesitate one second to tell me so. asshole.
Art Nerd
said,
April 12, 2007 at 12:16 am
My engagement ring’s center stone is .75 carats, and I think it’s plenty big enough for me. It was the stone my grandfather bought for my grandmother on their 25th anniversary, because they were too poor for her to get an e-ring when they were engaged. I love it’s history, but sometimes I do find myself blurting out the story (sorry, I can’t recall who said that!) kind of justifying it.
But really, I’m not worried. I love my ring and my man, trends be damned! To answer your question- I frequent a message board for newlyweds and yes, bigger is definitely the trend. My ring is miniscule compared to some of theirs!
angela
said,
April 12, 2007 at 3:11 am
I’m not sure I’ve ever even SEEN a 2 carat diamond, so needless to say, I don’t have one. But I do adore the ring I have. I think it’s the perfect size for my finger.
metalia
said,
April 12, 2007 at 3:21 am
Ick. I’m with you; I’m totally freaked out whenever people talk about engagement ring “trends.” It’s not leggings, or a newsboy cap; it’s something you’re (ostensibly) wearing forever. I like my ring, regardless of its size, because of what it stands for, and that it came from the heart, not because Brides Magazine said it was “in.”
suzanne
said,
April 12, 2007 at 4:45 am
I could not imagine wearing or paying for a 2 carat diamond. I’ve never been that into jewlery. When we got engaged, I wanted a solid band with a diamond band on each side. He really wanted me to have a center stone…so I did. I think the entire three piece set was just a few hundred dollars. I ABSOLUTELY love it. The sentimental value far outweighs the cost or size! I was recently surprised with a new wedding ring. At first, I had mixed feelings because of the sentimental value of my engagement ring. I love it though. It is a tension set ring….different from anything anyone I know has… wich I like. It’s funny though, because I only told a few people about my new ring, and the reaction has been less than enthusiastic, I’m pretty sure because it’s not the norm (a huge diamond solitare with matching diamond bands!)
Lisa B
said,
April 12, 2007 at 5:33 am
I think there IS a trend to go bigger. But yeah, I don’t understand the “need” for it.
Your ring is so pretty, pretty! The King has great taste.
MK
said,
April 12, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Your ring is beautiful!
Yes I think the trend is to go bigger - but I think that is like in the US period anymore.
I admit I am a jewelry whore. I love it and wear most of what I have everyday (I don’t have that much obviously - don’t think I look like some scarry old lady that walks around with 500 pieces of jewelry on all at the same time!). My center stone of my engagment ring is 1.75 carots and is surrounded by pave diamonds - a total of 2.25 carrots and I then have a 1 carot wedding band I wear on my right hand (or in place of my engagment ring if we are doing something active (golf, moving, cleaning etc). I love my rings and wouldn’t trade them for anything - ok I would give them up for my family, but I am so happy I have them. NOt only am I proud of the ring Mike designed to look antique, I think it is beautful (still love to look at it) and I look foward to passing it down to Abbie some day. My Mom has a 1 carot ring and always told me to get bigger. I of course wanted a bigger ring growing up like you because of thus thought, but was practicalwhen the time came and told Mike that I was very happy with a 1 carot ring we found in our shopping (and I meant it). he surprised and blew me away with this one. I am not ashamed of it, or feel it is wrong. I never felt uncomftorable talking about it (but we also both grew up in families with aunts, grandma’s and mothers that loved jewelry or had bigger rings). I would have been happy and proud of anything he gave me because I love him.
I honestly feel it is a VERY personal preference and something between you and your fiance. I relate it to the topic of having a big wedding or taking the money and putting it in the bank - each person has a different opinion and some people have very strong feelings about both.
Bottom line - you have a beautiful ring to be proud of and a loving husband and your happy.
Good topic!
meritt
said,
April 12, 2007 at 7:34 pm
I think one of the latest equations I’ve heard for marriages lasting is about 40% make it and 60% divorce. Having watched friends and family members go through a few engagements and marriages (and divorces) I would say too much attention is being given to the HUGE elaborate weddings, the dress and the RING and not enough thought to the covenant they are entering into.
Obviously I’m think that if you have to give into peer pressure about a 2 carat ring, you are definately in love with the idea of being in love… but not love for itself.
CPA Mom
said,
April 12, 2007 at 10:28 pm
I’m sorry I don’t have time to read the comments above. My wedding ring, HP’s wedding ring, and my “engagement” ring are all one set, $500 total for the set and I felt horrible over spending that much! I’m not a jewelry person, HP can tell you, he loves that part of me. I think my diamond is less than 1 carat and I never cared.
when my late husband died, I had our wedding rings melted together with the 1 carat diamond mounted in the center. It’s in the safe now, waiting for Eeyore to grow up.
Linlee
said,
April 12, 2007 at 10:44 pm
I worked for an upscale jeweler and let me tell you, people dropped TONS of money on engagement rings! $20,000 was nothing. Platinum was a must. It was crazy!
I was very lucky because we got mine at cost since I worked there otherwise there was no way we could have afforded it.
velocibadgergirl
said,
April 13, 2007 at 12:24 pm
2 carats? Holy crap. I’d live in constant fear that the stone would come loose.
The center stone in mine is 1/2 carat and that seems fine to me…about a carat more of sparklies in the band. When it was presented to me, I nearly fell over…it was WAY more than I’d ever have asked for, and we were poor and in college at the time. But he had it paid off in a year and I got over it and grew to love my ring.
But yeah…if he’d spent the equivalent of a downpayment on a house on a piece of jewelry, I might have killed him. Lovingly, but still.
ramblingmuse
said,
April 16, 2007 at 3:42 am
Hmm…2 carats is huge, but yeah, it seems to be the trend these days, or maybe just amongst my friends. There’s part of me who would love to get a big ring and a big proposal, but then the practical (and romantic) side of me thinks, I’d rather spend that money on a downpayment on a house or a really great honeymoon and that a cracker jack ring would do. Yeah, right!
I dunno…I guess if I ever get to that point where I’d have to decide between 1 carat or 2 (ha ha) I might have something interesting to say, but I have no comment other than I think the ring he got you is very pretty and I think it’s weird that your friend is now wearing a wedding band that your ex gave you.
That’s all folks. Catch you later!
Who knew I was so good at lying? | hola, isabel
said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:29 pm
[…] So yeah, I didn’t buy my own engagement ring. The engagement ring from my first husband was teeny tiny and didn’t cost a lot of money. Naturally he was able to afford it. And naturally I kept it after the divorce and gave it to one of my friends as a Christmas present. Hey, what did I want with a tainted ring? […]