King Friday - now with (more intense) sleep deprivationFebruary 23rd, 2007 @ 7:01 am
Isabel and I both need some sleep. She needs it more than me. She ends up getting up more often than I in the middle of the night, and right now, the boy is going through some tough sleep times. We still love him to death, but its tough to function as a family, or even alone at work, when you aren’t getting enough sleep.
At this point, we need to get the boy into a routine, and start getting some regular sleep before Isabel blows a fuse and takes it out on me. (I’m kinda not a huge fan of having someone I love upset at me.)
I’m trying to be helpful, but I have a tough time sticking to the rules of not stimlulating the boy when you get him out of bed at night. I like to play and watch TV and stuff, and I cant stand to hear him upset. So I’m not good at that. And on top of that, I have a tough time discerning when it is a good time to feed him, and when its not, since most of that decision has been made by Isabel at this point.
So, I pledge to keep trying. I’m tired. I miss and love my wife. I’m open to suggestions on what we can do. Maybe some of you have been down this road as well and can offer up some help.
Dont tell me what happened on the OC last night. I haven’t watched it yet.
-k
The King
Jezer
said,
February 23, 2007 at 3:22 pm
In the middle of it here, too. Actually, I think we’re on the downhill side, moving toward reasonable sleep again (up last night at 1am and 5am, but only very briefly, and went right back to sleep after a few swigs from the bottle).
I’m not sure if this is the best advice, but we finally just succumbed to the Whatever It Takes method. I pray that it’s just a phase that he will outgrow soon. We haven’t done anything wild–just cosleeping and keeping bottles in a little zip-up cooler thingy by the bed so as to give the Mommy Pacifier a little relief (and sleep). Our boy is genuinely hungry when he wakes up. He’s also eating a lot during the day, too–two dinners (one around 5pm and one around 7pm) and two breakfasts (one at home and one at daycare). So, it might be a growth thing.
Like I mentioned before, we’ve been going through this on and off for–you might want to sit down for this–three months. But I truly believe it’s a phase that he’s finally showing signs of outgrowing.
So, do whatever works for you. There’s not easy or pat solution. Remember you’re not alone. And this too shall pass. It WILL pass, right?
Lucky Gem
said,
February 23, 2007 at 3:36 pm
I don’t have any advice really. I’m a new mom to a one month old. I just wanted to say how much you sound like my hubby. He, at first, thought if the baby whimpers, she must want a bottle. He can’t stand to see her cry and doesn’t really know her cues like I do. As for sleep, well,I’m kind of in the same boat except my hubby works at night, so it’s just me. I did finally learn not to talk to or stimulate her in any way in the middle of the night. Works like a charm. I guess I still have many more sleepy days and nights ahead of me!
Rachel
said,
February 23, 2007 at 4:08 pm
I agree with Lucky. If you stimulate him, he will want to stay up, cuz it’s fun! As hard as that may be you have to be firm when it comes to sleeping or you will end up with a monster on your hands. I have a friend that has a 7 year old that she STILL has to fight with every night to get him to bed. When he was around 15-16 months old is when he began to challenge bed time and he would get up in the middle of the night and, because it was easier for her, she didn’t fight him on it as much as she should have and it has been problem ever since. Good luck with it and I hope you guys get some sleep soon.
By the way, The OC was really really good!
Stuart
said,
February 23, 2007 at 4:26 pm
You got to Cowboy Up, and let him cry it out, which sucks. It is hard. At first you won’t be getting any sleep, because you’ll be listening to him cry, and feeling like the worst parent in the world. My experience was to go and check on whichever Boy it was at the time. Cover him up, tell him I loved him, it was ok, and then back out of his room. No picking them up. Wait what will seem like a painfully long 15 minutes. If the Boy is still crying, go back in ane repeat the checking on him, covering him up, trying to settle him down, and then leave. Don’t stay to long. Then wait 25 minutes. Keep repeating adding 10 minutes to your time until he’s asleep.
Next night, check on him and then skip 15 minutes and go to 25. Next night, check on him, then 35 minutes.
He’s smart, he’ll soon figure out his crying isn’t getting the response he wants and he’ll quit, and figure out a way to soothe himself to sleep which is what you want him to be able to do. By going into his room at first, he knows he’s not been abandoned, or anything like that. If something is truly up, he’s sick, or really freaked out, you guys will know, his cry will sound different…Good luck.
anne nahm
said,
February 23, 2007 at 5:15 pm
My second was younger than yours when I crashed and burned on the sleep dep thing. Here it was in all it’s barely coherent glory: http://annenahm.com/?p=101
Sleep dep is no fun at all, and what my husband and I finally figured out (and have to keep relearning) is that taking care of a poorly sleeping child is enough work for three people. Splitting that work up between two people seems like it should give the other person a break. But really, each person just gets exhausted.
I know, I am totally Ms. Happy-Happy-Joy-Joy commenter. Sorry about that. But any extra help you can get will probably help. And like another commenter said, crying it out is effective. It is really effective when you get so irritated at being up all night that you are not sobbing in your bed when you hear them screaming in theirs.
Good luck. Sorry for the comments hijack or if I am too pushy with the opinionated 2 cents.
Jennifer
said,
February 23, 2007 at 5:58 pm
I have no advice, but as an insomniac, I have plenty of sympathy. Sleep deprivation is horrible. The first day after a crappy night of sleep (or no sleep), I’m just tired, and after the second night I start to feel nauseous. After that, I’m just the walking, cranky, dead. I can only imagine how you two must feel. Babboo: start sleeping through the night! It’s fun!
anna
said,
February 23, 2007 at 7:27 pm
You guys are in a tough spot since you share a room with the little man. We did this also. It means that you can’t just leave him to soothe himself and go back in the room to check on him. Once he’s awake, you are also. We co-slept (which doesn’t work for many people). I don’t have great advice because we finally got the youngest (who is 3) to sleep in her bed in her room and stay there the whole night a few months ago.
Hopefully he is just going through a growth spurt or some other phase and it will pass quickly. Good luck.
Erika
said,
February 23, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Evan has started to go to bed later (for the past three nights) which has freaked me out. So far he’s still sleeping at least 8 hours but I know the sleep regression is just around the corner. Hang in there, both of you. It’s got to be extra-tough when you all share a room.
HollowSquirrel
said,
February 23, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Ugh. I feel for you all. I’m from the tough love approach, which is much easier when you don’t share a room with the baby & walls with neighbors, so I’m not sure what to advise (I think I’ll zip it).
With that said, I know it helped when Mr. Squirrel would take Jojo from the house for a couple of hours during the day so I could get a real nap (because we women cannot sleep when you’re all playing in another room). Have you talked to your pediatrician about it? Maybe you could contact a nurse at the office or have your pediatrician call you back? I’m so sorry. I wish I could provide some real help.
Best of luck.
Christar
said,
February 23, 2007 at 8:36 pm
I wish I could help, but I don’t have a lot of experience in that field.
The only thing I can suggest is getting Johnson & Johnson’s Lavender baby bath and lotion and give Babboo a bath with it and/or lotion him up before bed. The scent helps calm restless babies and helps them sleep better. It’s worked for Shaun and I with Zachary! It calms him right down.
Anth
said,
February 24, 2007 at 2:40 am
I recommend “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Dr Marc Weissbluth. It was an absolute godsend to me.
I tell my husband, Don’t rile up the baby, she has to go to bed soon. Then I hear him playing airplane with her and her shrieking. I yell, THAT is riling her up! *Shakes head* He can’t resist.
Nice to see you’re an OC fan.
ramblingmuse
said,
February 24, 2007 at 4:37 am
I think you need to let the Babboo cry it out. If you pick him up each time he wakes up or cries, it’s only reinforcing that behavior/pattern. He needs to learn to soothe himself back to sleep.
I think Dr. Phil or someone had this process where each night you increase the amount of time between reacting to the crying. Like you wait 15 minutes, then 30, etc. And at the end of that time, you can go to the baby, but you don’t pick him up from the crib. He really has to learn to put himself to sleep.
Trust your instincts on it, ‘tho since I don’t know Babboo. Good luck. Here’s to more sleep soon!
Karlyn
said,
February 24, 2007 at 7:46 am
So I don’t have any real life experience with getting kids to sleep at night. But reading some of the posts made me think about a recent lecture that I just had in dental school about little kids as young as two already having cavities in every tooth in their mouth. Usually this doesn’t happen because parents are neglecting or doing something wrong, its just that they don’t know or haven’t ever looked at thier kids teeth. Anyway, it seems like a lot of new moms read your blog and so I thought I would just pass along the current recommendations. 1. Try to have kids off the bottle by age one, (the more they drink out of cups, the less time sugary liquids are on their teeth). 2. First dental exam by age one. Usually there wont be any problems, but it’s great to get kids used to a dentist early and prevent problems. 3. Dont put kids to bed with a bottle with anything other than water.
Check out this website for more info: http://www.aapd.org/pediatricinformation/faq.asp
I hope that’s not too boring to post that on here, but I just learned all this stuff myself and thought it might be helpful. Good luck with Babboo!
Lindsey
said,
February 24, 2007 at 2:04 pm
“We still love him to death”
I’m really glad you clarified this, because honestly, I was starting to wonder.
I have no kids, and no advice. Worthless, I know!
Durga
said,
February 26, 2007 at 2:38 pm
U guys are working so hard, trying to do all the right things. I think it’s great.
If possible(and u can afford it), time is worth more than the money.
I reckon, once u’ve got this house built - you will have more evenings to spend at home with Isabel and Babboo. So, looks forward to getting this thing built and staying home on week nights for awhile.
No more houses to build by ourself forever- u will be loaded in the future and can get other ppl to do all the work.
I “know” (hehe) u’ll delight in seeing your family settled in a comfy home and blessed with lots of time to be with each other.
Right now: Lots of kisses, re-assurances and acknowledgements will help Isabel (i bet u already do this anyway). But the time will come when Isabel can stay home and do one full time job (looking after Babboo) - instead of two full time jobs she does right now (one during the day (work) another ALL night (Babboo):)
hola, isabel » …and this is why he hasn’t been sleeping
said,
February 27, 2007 at 1:08 am
[…] Remember last week when all we talked about was how Babboo hasn’t been sleeping? We were having a hard time at our house. A very hard time. I was questioning if my Sweet Babboo was going to be an only child. I called my friend who is pregnant with her third and asked her; how, why?!!! We were baffled. We were tired. […]
hola, isabel » Is it more important that the baby sleeps or that I sleep?
said,
March 15, 2007 at 4:15 pm
[…] I know you’re sick of hearing about how Babboo isn’t sleeping at night. Believe you me; I’m sick of it to. Oh yes, we are sick of it at our house. […]
hola, isabel » Blog Archive » My Own American Life
said,
June 5, 2007 at 10:26 pm
[…] Well, they love it, just like I do. Ira Glass talked about his true and undying love of the recently canceled The O.C.. He talked about how Seth and Summer are the best couple on TV. And how Summer may be the best character on TV. (That’s a pretty broad statement, I know.) When someone from the audience yelled out to Ira; it was canceled!! Ira just scoffed and replied; as if there is anything about The O.C. that I don’t know about. It was comedy gold. The live band, Mates of State even played The O.C. theme song after this piece. On the piano. Awesome. I looked over at The King and saw him smiling. He is a huge O.C. fan and isn’t afraid to admit it. (Actually, he’s very afraid to admit it.) […]