The King asked for something extra special for Christmas this yearDecember 18th, 2006 @ 7:01 am
It happens every year. I got bombarded with calls and e-mails from family and friends; “what does The King want for Christmas?!” I respond by telling them that any ideas I have for him I’m keeping myself because I have a hard time buying for him also!
The King knows that everyone has a hard time buying for him. This year he sent me an e-mail back in November that gave me a list of suggestions for him. Awesome. I immediately forwarded it to his Mom and my sister with a note telling them that I had my own ideas this year and they could buy him anything on that list.
And then I forgot about the list.
That is until The King’s Mom called me last week to discuss his list. Apparently she had tried to find one of the items and just couldn’t find it anywhere. She had gone to the Volkswagen dealer to ask about it and when they didn’t know anything, she looked online.
So what is this item that my sweet, dear mother in law couldn’t find?
You know, those gross veiny things that cowboys the world over have on their huge trucks. Yeah, those.
Isabel: He asked for truck nuts? Are you sure? He doesn’t really want those. Are you sure they were on his wish list?
My dear sweet mother in law: There were on his list. I looked online. Do you know what those things are?!!!
Isabel: Yes. And I can promise you he doesn’t really want those. If they were on his list, it was a joke.
My dear sweet mother in law: Good. Because I’m not getting them for him.
Phew.
I told The King about this and he freaked out. He told me that I should never, ever forward an e-mail from him without first reading it. I’m sure I read it. Maybe I just missed that part. I mean, duh, I would never send his Mom an e-mail with the word “nuts” in it.
Ewww.
I went back to my e-mail this morning trying to find the original e-mail from The King. Just to see if truck nuts were really on the list:
“here are a few things that i may want for christmas if anyone asks or if you care at all. a new pair of slippers. some peppermint and wintergreen and clove essential oils. trucknuts, in grey or natural, for the jetta. a book of things that parents should know like answers to their kids questions and math and stuff. tapes on how to learn italian. a book about how to get inspired to make art. a little moleskin notebook.”
Holy crap. They were on the list. Although they were sort of hidden in the middle of the list. And you can’t really tell that he was joking about it.
Be assured, he won’t be getting truck nuts for Christmas this year. Or any year for that matter.
(The King is getting the best gift I’ve ever given in the history of gifts that I have given. Thanks to Katja for helping me out with it! It’s going to rock his socks off.)
The King · They're just my family
Rachael
said,
December 18, 2006 at 6:02 pm
I sent my parents and siblings to my Amazon wishlist without checking it first. The one thing I already owned was the one thing they bought. But I suppose that’s what I get for sneaking and seeing what had been purchased.
HollowSquirrel
said,
December 18, 2006 at 6:22 pm
Oh sweet holy hell no way. i’ve never seen those before and why did you have to bring those my way? Horrrible.
I can’t wait to find out what YOU get this year. Plus, email me what Katja is helping out with…I’m so curious!!
Carrisa
said,
December 18, 2006 at 6:28 pm
Yeah, what Hollow Squirrel said.
P.S. Does Isabel’s site look wonky to anyone else but me?
Jennifer
said,
December 18, 2006 at 6:33 pm
I’ve been wondering what those things are for a long time. It all started when we were driving to see my brother’s new apt, with me and my mom in one care, and my other brother and Joel in another car. In front of us on a highway was a car with those stupid trucknuts, and my mom asked me what they were. I had no idea. VERY AWKWARD conversation ensues, since they very clearly looked like testicles hanging from a trailer hitch.
When we got to the apt, i asked my brother what they were, and he had no idea, but said he had seen them before also. He was SO glad he wasn’t in the car when my mom asked “honey, what do you think those are?”
WHY do people want those? Ew.
Katja
said,
December 18, 2006 at 6:42 pm
Haha, I know what it is and it is GREAT! Wonderful even. and very creative! Can’t wait to see pictures of your christmas!
Frema
said,
December 18, 2006 at 6:47 pm
I am also happy to report I found the perfect gift for Luke.
Well, a Nintendo Wii probably would’ve been the perfect gift, but mine is definitely right up there. I can’t wait to exchange presents!
Audrey
said,
December 18, 2006 at 7:09 pm
OMG trucknuts. I hate those so much, I can’t even tell you. They’re so unbelievably disgusting.
As an example of how naive I am, though, I tried at one point to give trucknuts the benefit of the doubt. I asked my husband, “Do those things actually serve a purpose — like help with towing or anything — or are they just there to gross me out?” I figured if they had another purpose (besides the obvious aesthetic one) I might be able to tolerate them a little better. But my husband assured me they were only there to gross me out and I have whole-heartedly hated them ever since.
shellynoir
said,
December 18, 2006 at 7:13 pm
Went to the Volkswagen Dealer to buy some Truck Nuts for the Jetta —- greatest image ever….
Other Awesome Accessories for the Jetta:
http://www.fastcar.co.uk/Pierce_your_ride.YYLptq9oa2rmWw.html
Rob
said,
December 18, 2006 at 8:46 pm
I remember buying a gift for the King once, it was a book on Serial Killers. Strange thing, our other roommate bought him the exact same book on the exact same day. Just seemed like something he might like, but once we realized we both got it for him, it kind of creeped us out.
Hilary
said,
December 18, 2006 at 9:17 pm
Trucknuts? Those are too funny. I can’t believe I’ve never seen any in my neck of the woods or even heard of them. I do have a “country” cousin though. He would love those. And OMG I could totally get some and secretly put them on the back of my neighbor’s truck (you know, the one that helped play that joke on me) and let him drive around town. This is gonna be fun!!!
The hubby and I don’t exchange gifts. It’s do hard to try and find each other something that we don’t already have or that someone else isn’t already getting us. So, we go in together and get something for the house. This year? A kitchen table. (B/c using a card table for a kitchen table is getting old.)
janet
said,
December 18, 2006 at 9:51 pm
ewwwwww (And I am NOT easily grossed out!) ewwww!
At first I was like, trucknuts, okay…like nuts as in nuts and bolts, right? Then I clicked on the link and EWWWWWWWW people buy those?!?!?
janet
said,
December 18, 2006 at 9:52 pm
okay, not to mention that his mother actually went looking for these things! what do you think the dealer thought of that?!?
Bunny
said,
December 18, 2006 at 10:13 pm
I can’t wait to find out what it is! I am always looking for innovative ideas for men!
Christar
said,
December 18, 2006 at 11:53 pm
The King and Shaun have a lot in common from this one post. Shaun has also joked about those truck nuts for his GMC van. Not to mention he is one of the hardest people in the world to shop for. I totally know what you mean about keeping your good ideas for yourself because I do the same thing. Oh, and he is all about the Moleskines notebooks. He’s obsessed.
Lindsey
said,
December 19, 2006 at 3:00 am
Now you just have to get him truck nuts beacuse it WAS on his list. But poor sweet mother in law. Bless her lil’ heart.
MK
said,
December 19, 2006 at 6:19 am
That is halerious!! I can’t wait to see what you got him! You should get him some truck nuts as a joke for his stalking.
angela
said,
December 19, 2006 at 6:16 pm
Living in the great midwest, I have to say I’ve seen more than my fair share of truck nuts on the roadways. And every time, I’m just as shocked as the first time. So disgusting!
My brother-in-law, who is a college student, said that it is rather popular nowadays to buy panty hose and tennis balls and to make your own truck nuts. You put them on your friends’ cars and hope that it takes them a while to notice, therefore totally embarrassing them when they realize they’ve been driving around with them for who knows how long. Perhaps your mother-in-law could get crafty and make some herself since she had such a hard time finding them.
Melanie
said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:18 pm
Y’all are cracking me up! I’ve seen truck nuts and yes, I was grossed out, too. It’s no uncommon where I live to see them, though. I’m in the good ‘ole south! That would be a GREAT gag gift… or dirty Santa gag gift for a party!