Where in the world is Ben?November 21st, 2006 @ 7:01 am
When I was in high school I had a car. Which means I ended up giving rides to school to kids in the neighborhood. There was the girl who lived a few houses down that showed up early in the morning with her blonde curls and book bag. I was pretty jaded, even back then, and made her pay me $1.50 for gas money every week. She would give it to me on Fridays. I probably started asking for it on Wednesdays.
There were a few months where the blonde girl showed up extra early so that I could curl her hair in ringlets in time for us to head to school. She loved they way I curled her hair. Eventually I had to tell her that she would have to learn how to curl her own damn hair. I needed those extra 15 minutes of sleep. Even back then.
Sara, the blonde, rode with me for all of high school. She was at my doorstep every morning and waiting by my car in the parking lot every afternoon. She must have forgiven me for charging her gas money because we’re still friends today. Just yesterday she sent me a little something in the mail.
I also took Ben to school every morning. Ben was tall and liked to play basketball. He was new to the neighborhood and we all liked him. He often talked about the show Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego. Ben had even seen the group Rockapella recently and bragged about it to Sara and me. (We weren’t impressed, by the way. If it would have been Bon Jovi, then I would have been impressed.)
Ben always wore the same maroon Members Only jacket and had his hair combed over to the side. I liked to tease him in a friendly way and he would always say “Oh Isabel” and roll his eyes at me. I don’t think I impressed him much. When I would walk out to my car after school, Ben would be standing there waiting patiently. Everyday.
One day I had to stay after to make up some assignment in math class. I arranged for my friend Lance to take Ben home. I told Ben to make sure to wait by Lance’s car and not mine. He promised me he wouldn’t forget. Two hours after school was out I walked to my car and found Ben waiting for me.
“Ben, you were supposed to ride home with Lance today.”
“I forgot to find him.”
“You’ve been waiting for me for two hours in this snow?”
“Yes. I thought you forgot about me.”
Ben was developmentally disabled. As cute and tall as he was, he had the mental capability of a 3rd grader.
My high school had recently implemented a mainstream program for handicapped students so we had quite a few of these students. I loved it. They were so upbeat and full of life. It wasn’t unusual to hear one of them running through the halls during classes. There would always be a teacher close behind. Trying to catch them.
Since Ben was my neighbor and went to my same Church, we ended up spending a lot of time together. We ate lunch together; we played basketball together after school. And like I said, we rode to and from school together everyday.
One of the best things about Ben was that he did what he wanted to do. If he wanted to sing along to the radio, he did it. If he wanted to talk about Rockapella, he did it. He just didn’t get embarrassed like the rest of us did.
This also means that he didn’t buy into the hype.
Winters were fierce when I was growing up and my car didn’t fit in the garage. I had to park it out on the street. There it was free to get covered in snow and ice. I would start my car early in the morning and give it plenty of time to warm up. (Good thing Sara was paying me gas money so I could afford to let my car idle for so long.) All this bad weather also meant that I had to scrape the ice off my windows.
Scraping the ice off my windows was probably my #1 least favorite task in the entire world. I hated it. I would beg Ben to help me. But he never would. He would get in the warm car and just sit there holding his book bag while I froze my butt off scraping the ice.
Sometimes Ben would take a break from singing to the radio and wave at me through the window. No matter how cold it was or how mad I was that Ben wasn’t helping me, this always made me smile.
I can still picture his cheesy grin looking at me through the windshield and waving.
It’s a memory I hope I never forget.
Me · Churchy Stuff · Back in the day
Jennifer
said,
November 21, 2006 at 5:45 pm
I think I fell in love with my boyfriend the day I looked out the window and saw that he had cleared off my car for me — without my even asking him to.
I’m a big fan of just leaving the car running until it’s so warm that all the snow just slides off. Or just not going anywhere until the spring.
Brittany
said,
November 21, 2006 at 7:18 pm
Ummm… I’ve been to a Rockapella concert. I won 14 free tickets from a radio station. Can we still be friends?
I also work in Special Education, so there must be a correlation between Rockapella and the handicapped.
SJ
said,
November 21, 2006 at 7:24 pm
What a sweet story!
But you left me wondering (although I do see the title of your post) do you still keep in touch with Ben?
alyndabear
said,
November 21, 2006 at 7:34 pm
That’s a very sweet memory!
And I’m with SJ; do you keep in touch?
Bunny
said,
November 21, 2006 at 8:33 pm
What a nice friend. And I admire you (and those in your school) for being his friend. What a nice experience.
MK
said,
November 21, 2006 at 9:03 pm
yes, do you keep in touch or even have any idea what happened to him?
That is such a sweet story. Thank you.
DeAnn
said,
November 21, 2006 at 10:05 pm
Awwww. Where’s Ben now?
Chas
said,
November 22, 2006 at 1:07 am
Dang Isabel, I kept thinking that at the end there was going to be some terrible event like you found out he died in a car crash. Look him up and see what he’s up to.
Beth
said,
November 22, 2006 at 1:09 am
And? And? Where is this lovely Ben now?
Durga
said,
November 22, 2006 at 1:30 am
That’s a lovely story. I like flash backs.
I switched to Blogger Beta, thats why u couldn’t comment using normal blogger account (I didn’t know that was gonna happen). You can maybe use the ‘other’ button and add ur name and URL.
Thanks for the Michael’s birthday wishes.
:D
Frema
said,
November 22, 2006 at 4:26 am
What a sweet story. You’re such a good storyteller!
Also, I was one of the Saras during high school, meaning I often hitched a ride with a girlfriend who lived across the street. It wasn’t until I started driving myself that I realized how nice it was of her not to ask for gas money. If I was driving, I totally would have.
amieable
said,
November 22, 2006 at 7:28 am
I really like this story. You have a nice cadence in the way you tell your stories too.
I never went to a concert, but I did like that Rockapella group too (I watched “Carmen Sandiego”). Ben was right - we should not be too embarrassed or scared to be ourselves.
LaLa
said,
November 22, 2006 at 11:15 am
That post warmed the cockles of my heart
meritt
said,
November 22, 2006 at 6:52 pm
Awwww… Ben sounds like a sweetie. Do you know where he is today?
angela
said,
November 23, 2006 at 12:47 am
I’m surprised you didn’t hike your rate up during winter!
And Ben sounds sweet. Judging from your comments, it’s definitely time to figure out where he is and then fill us in.
Lindsey
said,
November 23, 2006 at 3:47 pm
That is such a sweet story! I also want to know where Ben is today and if you stay in touch. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!
HollowSquirrel
said,
November 24, 2006 at 3:33 pm
$1.50 a week which included hair styling? You’re too nice. But we knew that.
Corinne
said,
November 27, 2006 at 8:56 pm
I’m also wondering where Ben is…
And your story beats mine to pieces, since I drove home this HOTT (yes, with a double t) guy that I was best friends with. Lordy, was he hot, and we were like best friends… *sigh* He’s still hot… okay, okay okay… I gotta go pull out my yearbook now and droll some now that your story’s got me thinking…