Should I be taking notes on this?November 14th, 2006 @ 7:01 am
The King and I watch a lot of TV. I’m not proud. And although we love it, we feel a little guilty about the amount of time we waste doing this little pastime.
We cancelled HBO last week in an effort to ease our guilty conscience.
Since we no longer have HBO OnDemand we’ve had to find some new shows to watch. This quest lead us to Les Stroud over at the Science Channel. (Do I even have to tell you that we don’t usually watch this channel? Yeah, because we don’t.)
Who is this Les Stroud I speak of? And what does he do? He’s some sort of superhuman. Seriously.
So there’s this show called Survivorman. And it’s awesome. Basically this Survivorman “will attempt to live by himself for a week without supplies, food or shelter in some of the harshest environments on Earth. Adding to the challenge, he’ll drag 50 pounds of camera equipment everywhere he goes and shoot the ordeal himself.”
They just drop this guy off and he has to survive for an entire week. The first one we saw, he was in some place that was coved with snow. I think it was in Canada, but I can’t be sure. The dude made a shelter out of an abandoned plane (he was supposed to have been in a “crash” for this episode). He started his own fire. He found his own food.
The bottom line is that he didn’t die. Which is what would have happened to me. I would have just snuggled up under a tree, cried, and died. It’s that simple. I wouldn’t have known how to build a fire. I would have known how to keep warm.
Just thinking about this stuff makes me nervous.
The next episode we saw was of this Survivorman out in Moab, Utah. He was dropped there with a broken up bike and had 7 days to find his way out. Alive.
He made traps out of rocks and twigs to trap varmints to eat. He knew what weeds to boil to make “tea” (tea that was full of ephedrine, which I’m sure helped a little).
Plus he does all this while lugging around over 50 pounds of camera material. And since he is filming all of this on his own, he has to set up the camera, shoot, and then walk back to get the camera. Basically he’s walking twice as far.
He’s amazing. He’s smart. He’s brave. He’s bald.
All things that I like and respect.
I watch and pay very close attention to everything he’s saying. I get nervous if I miss something. I mean, what would happen if I’m stuck in a plane crash in Canada and I couldn’t remember how to start my own fire?? Or what if I’m in Moab riding my mountain bike and I have to trap a rat to eat for lunch? What if I can’t remember what Les said about how to cook it? I think he mentioned what rat organs not to eat. Crap, how do I tell a rat’s liver from its heart? Wait; was the heart okay to eat?
See, I would die.
(Let’s not even go into the fact that I’m not going to be in a plane crash in Northern Canada and I’m for sure not going to be mountain biking in Moab.)
After getting into this Survivorman show, we heard about another show like it called Man Vs. Wild. And get this; the star of this show is actually named Bear. (With a name like that this was the only career he could go into.
I watched my first (and only) episode of Man. Vs. Wild last week. I stayed up long after Babboo and The King had fallen asleep. I had to keep watching to make sure Bear survived. More specifically I needed to make sure Bear survived the bear he was being stalked by.
My heart was racing. My fingers were gripping my blanket. My eyes were semi opened, as to avoid having to see any blood.
Then it dawned on me that this dude wasn’t filming this himself. He had a crew there. And then I saw the 2-way radio in his hand.
It became very clear to me; this Bear-guy wasn’t anything like my original love, Les “Survivorman” Stroud. Bear wasn’t in any real danger. I mean, I’m sure his camera guy had a gun. Or at least a way for them to get out of there, quick.
(Don’t you love how I judge?! Because if I saw a bear in the wild, I would shat myself and have a heart attack. But I am judging this guy for not being all alone to deal with his attacker? Yeah, I suck.)
Did I mention that both of these guys are good looking? Because that helps make it good-TV. So give them a watch. Just make sure to have a pen and paper nearby. Because you’ll be wanting to write down all the hints to surviving your next wilderness adventure.
I know I will.
I have a slight TV addiction
Audrey
said,
November 14, 2006 at 5:21 pm
On the last episode of Bear’s show that I saw, he was in Moab and had tied a shirt around his head to keep cool. But then — and this is the part that really freaks me out because I’m so easily grossed out by this stuff — the shirt got too hot so to cool it down, you’ll never guess what he did. He peed on it. And then wrapped it around his head again. I’m not sure I would choose wrapping a pee-soaked shirt around my face (yeah, he covered his mouth with it too) over death. And that is why there is no show called “Audrey vs. Wild” or “SurvivorAudrey.”
The King
said,
November 14, 2006 at 5:25 pm
but if you were your friend MK, you’d curl up in a broken-down-plane-shelter, take off your undies, and go to sleep. then probably die.
we should try to survive somewhere someday. it would be fun.
Cassie
said,
November 14, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Wow, that “Survivorman” show sounds pretty cool. It’s kind of like how I feel about VH1’s “Celebrity Paranormal Project.” The celebrities on the show film themselves, just like Les does, and they give you lots of helpful hints on how to survive a night in a haunted mental hospital / factory / mansion / etc. It’s such important stuff!
Okay…so…maybe that’s not the same thing as “Survivorman.” I’m definitely going to tune in to the show — thanks for the tip!
Jennifer
said,
November 14, 2006 at 6:46 pm
I saw Man vs. Wild one time. In the episode I saw, he was being followed around by a bear, complete with waking up in the middle of the night and packing up camp to run away, and then jumping off a cliff into a river to elude the “bear” (which we never saw). I just kept thinking… but what about the camera man? Does the bear know it’s off limits to eat the camera man, or is he going to jump into the river too with all his equipment?
But the guy is totally hot, so I would watch it again in a second.
Jessie
said,
November 14, 2006 at 6:54 pm
Survivorman sounds like a great show, but unfortunately I have the most basic of basic cable, and don’t get any fun channels. That show looks just like something my husband and I would totally watch. Have you seen Meercat Manor yet? If we’re in on a Friday night, we usually watch it. It’s pretty fun.
alyndabear
said,
November 14, 2006 at 7:23 pm
Hmm, I don’t know that we have those shows here.
I’d LOVE to watch it though. I’m in the “run around flailing your arms and panic, before throwing myself on the ground and flailing some more, and then bawling until I have no more tears left and then dying” category, myself.
Hilary
said,
November 14, 2006 at 9:47 pm
Oh, I would totally die. Cry and die.
anniem
said,
November 14, 2006 at 9:59 pm
I love Survivorman and look forward to it every friday night. I haven’t watched that “Bear” guy, but I saw previews and it looks awesome too. Camping is fine for me, Surviving like Stroud, not so much.
HollowSquirrel
said,
November 15, 2006 at 1:27 am
That’s why I don’t “do” wilderness. I’d shat myself and die, too, if I saw a bear. Then again, my coworker came home last year to find cops/fire trucks/nosy neighbors because she always feeds the birds, but a hungry bear came up on her deck, feasted and then took a 2 hour nap. A friggin bear. On her back deck. And she wonders why I’m always busy when she invites us over for dinner…
Lindsey
said,
November 15, 2006 at 3:28 am
Yeah I am more likely to die from hair dryer electrocution than being stuck in the wilderness somewhere.
But that show sounds totally cool and totally worth watching. I’m going to have to check it out sometime.
velocibadgergirl
said,
November 15, 2006 at 5:09 am
I gotta say…Bear has really, really good commercials for his show. Have you seen those? They got the most perfect announcer guy, and he’s all, “He’s just like you, except he’s named BEAR. And he’ll show you how to survive in the wild, because that’s the kind of normal guy Bear is.”
angela
said,
November 16, 2006 at 3:37 am
OMG, I just watched Man vs. Wild this week too. And when he peed on his shirt, I was so completely shocked. I don’t care how hot my head would have gotten — I would just let it roast!
Throughout the whole show, I just kept thinking about how much more convenient his little trip would have been if Bear would have just packed a few granola bars, a radio and some sunblock. But I guess that wouldn’t have made for much of a show though…
Marmite Breath
said,
November 29, 2006 at 6:22 am
My husband was watching Man Vs Wild (he tries to get ideas in case he is ever stranded in the wilds of Nebraska, I guess) and the dude needed to kill a fish. So he just BIT INTO IT and started eating it. Our daughter was in the room and she almost fainted, as did I. I knew then that I would much rather be dead than have to kill and eat a fish. And if that’s wrong, I don’t wanna be right.