Do pink & orange go together?October 18th, 2006 @ 7:01 am
My Mom only ever wore two things when I was a kid. Either a t-shirt with the logo of my high school on it (where my Dad taught), or a t-shirt with the logo of the local hospital on it (where she worked).
Free t-shirts.
This drove me batty. Not only was I embarrassed at my Mom’s lack of style, but it made me feel guilty that she went without, while we always had clothes. Maybe not the nicest clothes. But we were always presentable.
I tried to compensate by buying my Mom over the top, trendy clothes for her birthday and Christmas with my babysitting money. I still shudder when I think about the pink/orange stripe/polka dot ensemble I bought her one year for her birthday. She never wore it, and I was dismayed. What was it about the outfit she didn’t like? Was it the orange leggings with pink polka dots, or the pink shirt with orange stripes? Seriously, what could it have been?
There were a few occasions where she bought herself a new outfit. There was the new dress for my brothers Eagle Scout Court of Honor, or the dresses for each of the kid’s weddings. And let’s not forget the leather jacket my Dad bought her for Christmas a few years back.
In the last year my Mom has discovered the joy that is the Gap bootcut jean and polo top. It’s a look that I’ve never seen on my Mom. I like it. She’s getting older, but she somehow looks younger. It’s a good look for her. I had attributed this new look to her becoming a Grandma and trying to feel younger.
I had an epiphany while shopping with my Mom this last Monday. It came to me after walking out of every story empty handed. I didn’t buy the lovely red shoes that made my feet look oh, so pretty. I didn’t even pick up the maroon Coach bag that was calling out to me. I passed up the traditional carmeled apple.
Babboo on the other hand got new pants, new long sleeved undershirts, and pieces for his Halloween costume. He even got a little farm puzzle.
I told my Mom that I’d become the martyr. I was going without, while Babboo wasn’t. I was wearing the same, tired black sweater while he was sporting some new pants.
But it wasn’t that I was going without. It was more that I just don’t need like he does. While I would love some new red heels, I don’t need them. I have plenty of shoes that fit. I have pants that I can wear. I might be tired of wearing them. But I can wear them. Babboo needs long sleeved shirts for the cold mornings on his way to school. He needs a fun little Halloween costume. He definitely needs pants that fit.
So now, I’m going to be the one wearing shirts with my company’s logo on it and my Mom’s going to be wearing jeans from the Gap. She’s been waiting a long time to buy herself something nice. And she deserves it.
Me, on the other hand, will be wearing the same black sweater I’ve worn since I was pregnant.
Back in the Day · Me · They're just my family
Tamara
said,
October 18, 2006 at 3:13 pm
I know how you feel, exactly. I just ordered a bunch of winter stuff for my little muffin last night, and it was so much more satisfying than buying myself something. I think I am going to have to make myself buy a few things for myself from time to time so I still feel pretty(ish) and like a woman and a mom, and not just a mom.
Durga
said,
October 18, 2006 at 3:41 pm
This post made me tear up. It reminded me of my mum and all that she sacrificed for me…our family.
I buy my mum fancy / younger looking clothes for her birthday/mothers day/christmas/just coz etc…I know she appreciates it. she has conditioned herself to go without for so many years…so that so many can simply live.
thanks for that thought Isabel.
Kristin
said,
October 18, 2006 at 3:52 pm
OMG, I can so relate. A couple of weeks ago I walked out of Victoria’s Secret in tears because I couldn’t justify paying $50 for a bra. I even had a $20 gift card. I haven’t bought a new pair of workout shoes for the same reason.
Logan on the other hand, I can buy him things everyday & feel really good about it. Like a pair of fuzzy warm PJ’s, winter hats, sweaters & pants that fit. Shopping has taken on a totally different meaning.
Hilary
said,
October 18, 2006 at 3:55 pm
Ah, an epiphany it is.
I am also wearing the same old same old but you better believe my kids have clothes that fit. And even if they don’t need clothes, I would much rather buy them clothes than myself clothes.
But with the same token, you are telling me that at some point we will be able to buy for US again and not feel bad about it? B/c I can’t wait for some Gap jeans and polo t’s.
dee
said,
October 18, 2006 at 4:26 pm
I know that feeling well. I recently bought myself a few things out of necessity and have felt really bad about it ever since. Fortunately for me, I was able to do so only because my sister passed down two boxes of winter clothes that fit my little Zach perfect. Without those I would have been buying for him instead and wearing my same old worn out boots that have needed replaced for 3 years now.
Motherhood changes everything, doesn’t it?
Debbie
said,
October 18, 2006 at 4:32 pm
I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! I almost don’t enjoy shopping for myself anymore (very shocking!) because I really just want to buy more things for my kids. I too always wondered why my mom never bought herself anything, but now I understand it…the desire shifts from “me me me” to “my kids; it’s all about my kids”.
Great post!
Frema
said,
October 18, 2006 at 4:52 pm
We had the same mother growing up; actually, both my mother and father went about their days in ripped jeans, stained tee shirts, and cut-off sweat shorts the entire time we were kids. Whenever there was a wedding or some other special occasion, they rotated between two or three ensembles in their closet. I wondered why other kids’ mothers were so much better dressed than mine. For Christmas and birthdays, I was always on the hunt for clothes for them, because they never bought any for themselves.
Now that we’re all older, and the youngest is thirteen, you would think it’d be different now, but my mom’s wardrobe has barely changed. Now they sport a bunch of my old college gear, although their dress wardrobe has stepped it up a notch.
Becky..Absent Minded Housewife
said,
October 18, 2006 at 4:58 pm
Delurking…
I found this from a blogroll from a blogroll from a blogroll. Small world.
I wear local high school tshirts too, because my husband teaches. My favorite proclaims that I’m doin’ it oldschool in 2002.
Lizzy
said,
October 18, 2006 at 6:04 pm
Oh, Isabel. I’m so with you.
Is it awful to admit that I’m actually wearing my beloved Old Navy underpants today?
I actually bit the bullet a few weeks ago and dropped $180 at Old Navy (and $180 goes a LONG way at O.N.) on myself. Nary a cute onesie, pair of western-style khakis, or bitchin’ shirt for Henry in my basket.
I feel so guilty.
However, I generally wear the same thing day in and day out. I buy mulitple copies of the same thing. I find a black shirt I like? I go buy another one. I have 2 pair of the same jeans. I wear the same sweaters, no matter if I have a new sweater.
Also? I LOATHE shopping. For myself. Shopping for Henry, however…ooh how I lurves it.
Lisa B
said,
October 18, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Isn’t it funny? Growing up, I was constantly reminded (by my Catholic school teachers) that parents made alot of sacrafices for their children. And how we should be grateful.
And now I’m the grown up. Seth gets alot of stuff. I pass up getting stuff. So does the hubby. And yes, its a sacrafice, but the beauty of it is that you love your little one so much, you don’t mind…
Can’t WAIT to hear all about Babboo’s costume. Hope you post pics.
Courtney
said,
October 18, 2006 at 7:47 pm
alyndabear
said,
October 18, 2006 at 8:18 pm
It’s funny how things work out — I’m not a parent, but I have definitely observed that cycle in progress. What a considerate momma you are, and one day when Babboo is old enough? Leave him nice letters with Christmas hints in them; Red Shoes for example! Always nice!
janet
said,
October 18, 2006 at 9:19 pm
This was a sweet post.
Basically, you have to wait until Babboo grows up, gets married, and has babies, and then you will be a Granny who can FINALLY buy herself some hot red shoes already!!!
MK
said,
October 18, 2006 at 9:46 pm
I want to first start off by saying how much I love reading your posts. they almost always hit home. Thank you for always sharing.
This post is so true. I see to wear the same clothes I was wearing before and even htough I am so sick of it- i would rather buy Abbie somehting then myself. i always make sure she is dressed to a T and looking cute before I get myself together. And it is ok. ya, do i wish we had gobs of money so i could buy it all- sure. But is ok. And buying her clothes that will look oh so cute on her is more fun!
Bunny
said,
October 19, 2006 at 12:24 am
I can totally relate to this! I wear jeans and usually a white v-neck T-shirt all the time. It is really sad to look in our closet and see that my husband’s half is busting at the seams and my half is barely there. I used to have clothes before this whole getting pregnant and having babies thing threw a wrench in my style.
song
said,
October 19, 2006 at 1:01 am
My mum is the same - always wore crappy old unstylish clothes while I was young (and couldn’t understand why I refused to wear her high waisted stonewash jeans - “they’re just jeans after all”) and now that she’s a grandma and has a new girlfriend she wears surf and designer label clothes. Unfortunately she still has no style - I hate to say it, but it’s so mutton dressed up as lamb. I’m glad your mum got it right.
me on the other hand would never be able to pass up the shoes…
Jenny
said,
October 19, 2006 at 1:59 am
Girl, you just nailed it. I’m so right there with you.
Rachel
said,
October 19, 2006 at 1:46 pm
I’m the same way. Whenever I go out shopping it’s always “Awww, that will look soooo cute on (insert Haley, Kaylie or Alyssa)”, instead of looking for something for me. If I go to Target, I always have to go by the baby aisles, no matter what. But, like you said, they need more than we do.
Chas
said,
October 20, 2006 at 3:26 am
I feel you…I went to the mall this week and left with three outfits for Lila and nothing for me; I didn’t even look. This is not like me. I’m changing, and I kind of like it.
hola, isabel » What does “Esprit” mean anyway?
said,
April 13, 2007 at 6:40 pm
[...] I always wished I could afford to dress better. I told myself that when I was grown up, I would buy myself name brand items. I said I wouldn’t have a kid until I could afford to dress him exclusively in Baby Gap apparel. While Babboo does own some Baby Gap, I would not say he dresses exclusively in their stuff. And while I think I have nice clothes, nothing I own is what I would consider name brand. (I have discussed this topic before.) [...]