Sunday night was a slow night at our house. Our usual Sunday fair wasn’t on TV. Which meant that oh my goodness, we’ll have to find something else to watch. Which will require me moving my fingers to work the remote.

Life is hard when you’re carrying around this extra weight. Very hard.

The King found a movie that sounded good to him. And look, it was a movie staring our friend teenager, Pacey.

After about 2 minutes of watching I realized this was a dumb movie. First of all, we had missed the first 8 minutes. Which apparently the entire movie was based on those minutes. Plus, the movie was about some college and a secret society. Blah. That does not interest me. Even if these college boys are being chased by SUV’s. It was not enough to make the movie likeable. (I found myself rooting for the SUV, “Just a little faster. Even Pacey can’t outrun an SUV!” Except that in this movie, apparently he can!)

Miraculously the movie ended. That’s when The King turned to me and said, “Man, that was a good movie. I really liked it!”.

I was shocked and horrified. My marriage flashed before my eyes.

Again last night, nothing to watch on TV. I scroll through the movies available and find one. It’s a cutesy movie about the President’s daughter and how it so hard to be her. I mean, she is constantly being followed by those pesky Secret Service agents (who are trying to protect her from crazed kidnappers and what not, but that’s besides the point).

It’s starring the lovely Mandy Moore, who his adored by The King. She’s a cute girl and I can appreciate that. Admittedly she no Meryl Streep. I mean, the movie wasn’t horrible, but it was what it was. Nothing more.

At the end of the movie The King turned to me and said, “That movie was so good. I think I liked it even better then ‘Skulls’!”

This is a man who I love with all my heart. But he refuses to watch “Lord of the Rings” because it has “costumes, swords and dragons”. He has very strict requirements for what he will watch.

Go figure.

(I guess I shouldn’t tell him that while looking online for movie pictures, I found out there is a “Skulls II” and “Skulls III”. I guess The King wasn’t the only one who liked the first one.)

I know most of you probably have today off. Me? Not so much. But that’s okay. Why? Because at work I can sit all day at my desk. Which doesn’t require me to move at all. Which is good, since I am so tired from lack of sleep.

(Did I mention that I was at work until after 8:00 last Friday? Because I really should mention that.)

Things that took place this weekend:

• When I got home from work on Friday night, I was met by The King and our new stroller (which also has a car seat thingy for it). He put it together. All by himself. He is a genius. Yes, we were afraid the baby could come and we wouldn’t be able to bring him home since we didn’t have a car seat.

• Saturday during the day was spent at home doing all sorts of fun things while The King worked over at the new house. What sorts of fun things you ask? Laundry. Laundry isn’t so horrible to do. It’s the drying, folding and putting away that I’m not really a fan of. I also really don’t like putting the sheets back on the bed. But Preston loves it. It’s one of his favorite things (second only to humping my legs when I lay on the couch!)

• The King went over to his friends house on Saturday night. Leaving me home alone to babysit my friend May’s daughter. The King sort of has issues with this kid. He isn’t sure why. But he does. I was the one who had offered to babysit, so I stayed home with the little girl. We actually had a very fun time. We went outside for a walk and ate lots of raisins (the kind that come in the little boxes). She also really liked being able to stand up close to the TV. It was a little spooky.

• Me and the little girl had some fun trying to take a self-portrait of us together. We ran out of memory on the camera before we got a good one. Instead, I leave you with this picture, which is only a little creepy:

I got a call from my little sister last night. It went something like this:

Her: How was your Valentine’s Day?

Me: Um…I guess it was like every other Tuesday.

Her: Uneventful, huh? Because ours was very eventful.

This is where I freak out a little and think that she’s going to tell me she’s pregnant. Which would be horrible, because she’s so young. And because they have crappy jobs at that place that rhymes with Cal-Bart. (And really it’s none of my business-I’m just saying!)

Me: Hooray! What happened?

Her: My Boss and I were talking at the counter. He was holding a hammer and thought it would be funny to pretend to hit my hand with it. Except he didn’t pretend. He actually smashed my hand with the hammer!

Again, this is where I freak out. I mean, her manager hit her with a hammer! Because he thought it would.be.funny.

I am not sure what part of this is funny to him.

Since she works for that place that sounds an awful lot like Sal-Wart, I was quick to ask if she went to the doctor immediately, just to cover her own butt. She said she didn’t, because it didn’t hurt that bad at the time. But now, a day later, it was all black and blue and swollen and hurt so bad. Which doesn’t surprise me. I imagine that a wound from a hammer would hurt. Like hell.

I suggested the she go to the doctor today. She said that instead of doing that, she would drive the 30 minutes to my folk’s house and have my Mom look at it. Now my Mom is a good person and a fabulous Mom. She’s even a great nurse. This does NOT make her a doctor. It also doesn’t give her X-Ray eyes to tell whether or not my sister’s fingers are broken (which I suspect they are).

When I told this to her, she was all offended that I would dare say that about my own Mother. But it’s true. My Mom will only be able to look at her finger and say, “Man, that looks bad. You should go to the Doctors office and have it checked out!”.

I am forever telling her to try to protect herself at work. I mean, her work place isn’t known for how great it treats its employees. The entire World knows this. But for some reason, she trusts them. She believes that if something really bad is wrong with her fingers, they will “take care of her”. I know this isn’t true and it freaks that crap out of me.

Even if nothing is seriously wrong, it would be nice to have that verified by a Doctor.

Not to mention, what is going to happen to her Manager? I mean come on, he should be in some sort of trouble (what was he doing with a hammer anyway?).

I woke up really early last Saturday and decided to watch a few episodes of some show on the Discovery Channel on labor and delivery. I started to get a little freaked out when most of the babies who were born were only at around 32-34 weeks.

HELLO, that’s how far along I am. Which means, “Holy crap, I could have this baby at any time and we so aren’t ready , we don’t own any baby clothes, or any bottles, or a car seat. Or even a crib! And I haven’t read anything on breast feeding yet. This kid is going to starve to death!” See, I was freaking out.

When The King woke up I shared this with him. I tried to be calm and explain the situation to him. He to got sufficiently freaked out. I am not sure what part pushed him over to the dark side with me. It might have been the part where I told him the lady on the show gave birth in the hospital bed on the way to the surgery room. Right there in the hall. A baby…born in the hall. I can’t do that.

So we went to IKEA. On a Saturday. Which is the busiest day at IKEA. You should never go on a Saturday. See how desperate we were?

We bought two of the shelving systems we had picked out for the baby’s room. And a few bins to go with it (we miscounted and still need 2 more bins, but we can buy them later. Not on a Saturday). The fun thing about IKEA furniture is that you have to put it together. That is how they pass the savings on to you. The King and I went directly home and started to put them together. We are idiots, so it took us a little longer then it should have. Apparently he and I can build a house from scratch, but a couple of $40.00 wooden shelves kick our butts.

Alas, we got them put together. I washed the bins out and started to fill them up with the few items we have. I even opened the diapers up and put them in one of the bins. Little tiny diapers that will go on our little guy’s little bum. (Did I mention how teeny-tiny the diapers are?) I put all of our blankets in one of the big bins (they all didn’t fit-that’s how many blankets we have). I even folded the burp rags my Mom made and put them in a drawer. (Yes, I know I still need to wash everything before the baby comes. This whole “apartment building laundry room thing” is all new to me and I hate it. Give me some time to get used to not having my own washer and dryer.) Notice his few little toys on top and the tub on the side (a big Internet shout-out to Avorie for the awesome tub!). See, we’re not as unprepared as I had feared.

We have enough room left over that we figure we’ll be able to fit the pack and play in that space also. Hooray. The pack and play we chose has a changing table on it, so that will be perfect. I need to get all of his baby books together and put them on top of the shelves next to his toys. The King is even calling this “the baby’s room”.

Oh my gosh…we’re having a baby.

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Here’s the latest belly shot. I took it on Saturday morning, before we left for IKEA. So the stress of IKEA on a Saturday hasn’t hit me yet. This is me at 32 weeks. I am wearing the non maternity shirt from GAP that I got for $2.97. Which makes it even cuter, right?

Things The King would like in our new house and why. Not in order of importance:

1- Warming Oven - When he first told me this I assumed it was so he could wake up early on Saturday mornings and cook sourdough pancakes for me and junior. He could put them in the warming oven allowing me to sleep in, but still enjoy fresh hot pancakes. Nope, he wants the warming oven so that he can have warm chips and salsa when he gets home from work every day. I guess he really likes warm chips. Learn something new everyday.

2- Garage Door Opener - And not just any garage door opener. No, he wants one that when enabled turns on the warming oven (see #1) to ensure his chips are warm when he walks inside the house.

3- Garbage Chute - The garage will be underneath the kitchen. The King wants a chute from the kitchen to the garage. This way we can just open the chute and throw garbage (and recycling) down it. Long live never having to take your garbage out.

4- Tall Fence - Really, no explanation is necessary. The truth is he wants to be able to use the hot tub (or just mow the grass) in the nude.

5- Hot Tub - See #4.

Last night I met my friend Katie (and her daughter) for a little dinner and shopping in downtown. Today I am asking myself, “WHY did you do this to yourself, Isabel?”

You see, if Katie had a Super Power it would be shopping. Not only does she walk slow and look at everything in the entire store. She must touch everything. She isn’t the best shopping companion because of this. Especially when I am pregnant and dealing with already swollen feet. And why did I wear heels to shop in? What was wrong with putting on some better shoes before I left the house? Nope. I was determined to not look like the frumpy pregnant girl that I am.

I had a great time. I really did. We started the night with a fun dinner in a little dive of a Chinese restaurant that The King and I found recently. Katie’s daughter only made a slight mess when she tipped over the cup of egg flower soup. We were able to catch up on what’s been going on. See, it was nice.

Then we headed outside to shop. I don’t want to get into it too much, but I was a bargain shopper. The likes I have never been before. I kid you not when I say that I spent $6.66 at Old Navy and walked away with a bag full of baby items. You in the back, did you hear what I said? Six dollars and sixty six cents. For a bag full of baby goodness.

Next stop, The Gap. Their baby sale items were picked over. Which means I had to buy myself a fabulous (non maternity) shirt for $2.97. A shirt that I would have happily paid full price for. A shirt that I am wearing today and am anxious to get home and spend some alone time with. I like it that much.

By this time we had spent about two hours in two stores. My feet were killing me. I was hot and tired and ornery. It was time to be forceful and call it a night. I think Motherhood may have slowed Katie down a little because she seemed happy to part ways.

I was so excited with my score that when I got home I played this fun game with The King. A game that I like, but he hates. Most of my games are met with the same eye-rolling and begging me to just leave him alone.

This game is played by me laying all the fun new items on the couch, hiding the price tags and making The King guess how much money I spent. His final answer was $25.00.

Sucker.

I spent less than $10.00. For a ton of good stuff. This isn’t crap people. No, this is genuine quality baby gear. I mean, have you ever seen a baby shirt for .05 cents? Me neither. But my baby’s gonna wear it and he’s gonna love it.

What makes this even funnier, is we got a package in the mail yesterday. A little onesie that The King bought our little guy. A onesie that matches a shirt that I got him last Valentines Day. (Of course the one we got was black and NOT pink. Don’t worry). This one little piece of clothing was $25.00 (with shipping). So for half the price of what The King spent, I got three times the amount of gear.

Who’s the best Mommy in the World?

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Today? I can’t lift up my feet completely when I walk. My feet hurt that bad. And I’m not even wearing heels today. I’ve got on my super comfy (albeit not very attractive) black loafers. And my feet are still killing me. I can’t wait to get home and prop my feet up on the coffee table. And stay there. All weekend.

But first I have to walk home from work.