Hair today, gone tomorrowJanuary 20th, 2006 @ 8:43 am
I hate hair. Not the hair that’s on your head. That hair I tend to love. It’s all the other hair in this world that I hate. Especially hair that is no longer attached.
I think it hates me to.
The King also dislikes hair. He and I have both said that if we could be dropped, feet first, into a vat of wax and have all of our hair removed, we would be happier people. Hair just gets in the way of life.
I have always have longish hair. It’s also usually dark (except for those few times I put a little too much blond in it, and the few years I was a red head). This means that when a hair is no longer attached to my head, it is easy to see sitting on the floor, or stuck on the couch, or tangled in the bath mat. Plus, it seems like my hair falls out at an alarming rate. So it’s always lying on the floor and not on my head, where it should be.
The sight of a piece of hair makes me gag. Seriously gag. You know when the tub drain gets clog and you have to physically remove the hair that is clogging it? Oh my gosh, I hate doing that. Even though it’s my hair-it makes me sick.
I hate using a public bathroom and finding a piece of pubic hair just sitting there on the toilet seat, minding it’s own business. Didn’t the previous user notice they were leaving something behind and try to clean up a little? I won’t use a toilet with a hair anywhere in sight. (Unless, of course, I’m in Europe, pregnant, and really desperate to pee.)
The day we moved into our new apartment we noticed a hair left behind on the toilet. Gross. It FOR SURE wasn’t one of ours. The rest of the apartment was spotless, so we have never really figured out where it came from. To be completely honest, I’ve never gotten over that. We’ve lived there a couple of months and I’m still not comfortable in the bathroom. It’s tainted.
When I was in college, my roommates decided to shave some dork’s head when I wasn’t home. I hated this guy. He was cocky, without reason to be. You know the type. After they shaved all of his hair off, they asked him to clean it up off MY bathroom floor (yes, I had my own bathroom and they had used it). He swept all the hair up and then proceeded to flush it down the toilet. Everyone knows this won’t work. Nope, it just clogged up the toilet, which then started to overflow into the hall. It was overflowing toilet water mixed with disgusting hair.
Then he just left.
Yep-just left and went back to his dorm. My roommates didn’t clean it up either. I came home to a hallway full of wet hair. (I am having a hard time even typing about this, it grosses me out so much!) I had to clean it up all by myself. I can’t really remember specifics, but I’m pretty sure that I was swearing and yelling at the top of my lugs. All the while trying not to throw up. Which I still eventually did end up doing.
I guess what I’m saying is that if you come and stay at my house, be sure to clean up the bathroom floor when you’re done in there. And don’t you dare cut your hair in my house, at all.
I rock · Apartment living
Hilary
said,
January 20, 2006 at 9:47 am
Ewwwww! I was eating lunch while reading this and it ‘almost’ made me lose my appetite. (almost=six months pregnant and very few things will actually make me completely lose my appetite!)
AnnaBana
said,
January 20, 2006 at 10:12 am
That’s just disgusting. And grounds for kicking your roommates out.
Heather B.
said,
January 20, 2006 at 10:40 am
OH MY GOD Woman! That is so me. I hate hair. And now I’m gagging. It freaks me out to no end. Yesterday after the gym I had to shower their and I was in and out of that place so freaking quickly, because of the chance of the hair. The worst is when I find a blonde hair in my stuff. I am not a blonde. and yet it’s in my stuff. Ewwwww…
Avorie
said,
January 20, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Oh yeah, and don’t move into a house with white tile in the bathrooms! I never noticed hair on the floor like I do now! No matter what color your hair is, it stands out really well against a white tile floor! I mean, you will see every single piece. Sometimes I wonder if it would be worth it to retile the bathrooms, but after having white tile, I would probably know there was invisible hair there anyway.
Contrary
said,
January 20, 2006 at 8:06 pm
I have to admit, hair just doesn’t bug me all that much. But since I have my own little pecadillos (noodles and rice together! in the same dish! Ugh!), I understand how you feel.
I’m proud of you for not committing mass homicide with the haircut episode.
DeAnn
said,
January 20, 2006 at 9:47 pm
Were you also dry heaving?!
Because I would have been.
Rousing Dreams
said,
January 21, 2006 at 7:37 am
In the seventh grade, we were discussing evolution and all such things. I remember going home and praying that if evolution was true (the theory rather than progression), then maybe God could prove it to me by making me evolve so post-monkey that I wouldn’t have to shave my legs or ever suffer the unknown horror my sister referred to as the bikini wax.
Countless bikini waxes later, I am certain that the theory of evolution is a lie and that when I get to Heaven, I will be rewarded for my faith with sleek, hairless legs, etc. and that I will spend eternity smooth like the Venus razor girls.
Amen.
PS you’re nominated as the lead guitarist for my girl band.
Lisa
said,
January 22, 2006 at 7:30 pm
Yes. I so agree with you! The site of pubic hair on a toilet makes me gag. I won’t use a public toilet with that on it either. There have been a few times where I found hair in my food in a restaurant. I just can’t eat after that. And I refuse to go back.
There have been times we get to a hotel and find a pubic hair in the bathroom somewhere and I always pitch a fit until my hubby agrees to get a new room.
So yeah. I know what you mean. Didn’t know hair clogs toilets. But that is really good to know.
:-)
So yeah. I know what you mean.
Rude Cactus
said,
January 23, 2006 at 6:30 am
Ok, while I can understand your aversion to hair, I think we’d all look a little funny bald. That? Would be freaky.
Mrs. Ca
said,
January 23, 2006 at 11:04 am
I too shed everywhere and it drives my husband nuts. Except he likes me to keep my hair long more than he hates finding random hairs. I try to pick them up as much as possible but it’s a losing battle.
As for haircuts in college, I have a funny story (which you reminded me of). My boyfriend-at-the-time decided he needed a haircut, but didn’t have any money, so he let the girl who lived next door to me cut his hair. It was her first time attempting to cut hair with clippers. He ended up having to wear a hat for about 3 weeks straight because she had given him a few random bald spots. It was hillarious!
Nap Queen
said,
January 23, 2006 at 4:55 pm
Nasty!!! Toliet water and hair?? ICKY! I also hate loose hair, especially when it sits in water on a countertop. BLECH. Hair on the gym floor is the worst, too. Oh, I had laser hair removal done! Although expensive, it really is the best option if you hate hair.